Page 23 of Blazing Hot Nights
I spun him around and grabbed his shirt. “Something is wrong. What is it?”
“Shit and hellfire, relax, would you? I’m not supposed to tell you, so just leave me alone.”
He tried to shove past me, but I had twenty pounds on him. I stepped in front of him and held him there. “If this is about Heaven, and you don’t tell me right this second, I’m not afraid to send you back to Texas.”
Beau snorted with laughter so hard I was afraid he was going to suck his tongue into his brain. He might be laughing, but I saw the anger flash across his face at my words. “Sure, okay. Go for it. Send me back to Texas. I haven’t been home in so many years I’ve forgotten what the place looks like now. I need a vacation.”
“For good.” The tone of my voice told him the threat was real.
“Right, because you can find so many ranch hands who want to come out here and work for your crabby ass. Your threats don’t scare me, Blaze. You’re all bark and no bite.”
Beau shoved me aside and strode from the room, but I caught him before he hit the front door. “I still didn’t hear you telling me what’s going on.”
“That’s because I didn’t tell you!” He ripped his shirt free and stomped down the front steps.
I jumped down the stairs and followed him out to the barn, standing in the doorway while he saddled up his horse.
“I’m going to cha-check the fence line.” He set his jaw and tossed the saddle over Cloudy Day’s back. “Then I’ll prepare the tray-tr-trailer for the rodeo.”
Beau was getting worked up. He had overcome his stutter in middle school once he moved in with us and started working with a new speech pathologist. Well, I should say, he had overcome his stutter unless he was aggravated or emotionally upset. Then all his defenses fell, and the verbalization of his words became troublesome for him. A part of me had always felt bad that Beau could never hide his feelings until I overheard my momma talking to him one day. She had told him when he was upset or emotional, he didn’t want to say something he couldn’t take back, so taking extra time to find the right words wasn’t a curse. I could see her point then, and I wished like hell I had done a better job of picking my words sometimes.
I pushed off the door and grabbed the other side of the saddle, straightening out the other billet strap. “Beau, I’ll do the trailer. I’m sorry for being an ass.”
“I don’t know what’s going ah-on with you. I ca-can … not say anything right, even when I don’t say nothing at ah-all. I’m doing mor-ma-most of the work to keep the ranch runnin’, and you donu-don-do not even notice. You act like the most important thing you ga-ga-got to do is fix the screen door.” He shook his head, his hands on his hips. It was easy to read the frustration and anger in his posture. “You are my brother, Ba-laze, and I … I … I love you. But I don’t li-li-ke you much anymore. I wa-want to see my best friend ah-gain, but I wonder if I ever wa-will. I will mah-make the ranch succ-succ-essful and never ca-claim it as my own. I won’t st-st-stay and tay-ta-take abuse from a gu-gu-guy so blinded by the past he’s de-de-dammit!” His hand went through his hair and he swallowed. “Gonna ruin his future!”
Beau’s sigh was heavy, and his shoulders were weighted when he finished his tirade.
“You’re drawing a line in the sand. Is that what you’re saying?” I asked, anger filling me, but also a feeling that was awfully close to regret.
Beau tightened the strap on Cloudy Day’s saddle and grabbed the reins, leading the horse from the stall before he mounted him. “No, yu-ou drew a line in the sand fa-fa-ive years ago. I’m not going to cross it na-now. I can work for you without being yo-ur friend. I ga-ga-uess that’s how it’s going to ba-be. That’s by your choice, na-na-ot mine.”
Cloudy Day clomped into the pasture, and as I watched him head up the ridgeline, I wondered if my friendship with Beau was just another casualty of the war we’d been fighting for five years.
***
An arm stretched in front of me, and I glanced up to see Dawn holding out a beer. I accepted it from her with a smile.
“Thanks,” I said, lowering the cold bottle to my leg. It had been a warm one today. It was almost the Fourth of July, and that meant longer and hotter days were upon us. It was the time of year when the farmers said you could hear the corn grow. There was a definite rustle in the stalks tonight when the wind blew through them. The sky was darkening to dark purple as we passed the nine o’clock hour, and I was in the barn with the door wide open, letting the air in for the animals and watching the stars come alive.
Dawn grabbed a chair and sat next to me. “You’re welcome. I figured I might find you out here. You’ve been quiet for the last few days.”
I tipped the bottle up and swallowed some of the hoppy liquid. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“There hasn’t been a new delivery of cattle since the auction. I did notice that.”
“Nope,” I answered, taking another drink of the beer. “We have enough to do right now, and a smaller herd lowers our overhead.”
“True, but it also means no income down the road.”
“I’m working on it, Dawn,” I said, my voice defeated.
“How is your shoulder?” she asked, tipping her bottle to her lips as though this conversation wasn’t a minefield.
“Better,” I admitted. “The massager has done wonders for the muscles.”
“Oh, right, the massager Blaze bought you.”
“Oh, right, the massager Blaze bought you,” I mimicked her words like a child while tossing my head back and forth. Her laughter made me smile. “I figured if his fingers could do that much good in just a few minutes, I should try massaging the muscles regularly and see what happens. I think in a few more days, the shoulder will be back to where it was pre-accident. Maybe if I keep using it, it will improve even more.”
