Page 33 of Butterflies and Hazel Eyes
I wore a frustrated frown. Frustration for Gulliver and all of us as a global community. “I’ll do what I can to help, but something tells me it will be years before it happens.”
He did the so-so hand. “We need to concentrate on teaching farmers and others alike that the cheaper pesticides will be the end to our existence. That will be an even bigger hurdle to jump, and let me tell you, with my legs, I might never clear it.”
“Gulliver, stop. You’ve come this far. Don’t cheapen what you’ve done by using what you see as your weakness as an excuse to stop this fight. Your legs are the strongest damn pair in this entire business because they’re the driving force behind making sure this gets done. Sure, Mathias can throw all the money he wants at the project, but we both know he doesn’t understand the cause and effect of this the way you do. Thomas can work to perfect the formula, but it’s not his reputation on the line if it fails. You are strong. If you take one step at a time, you’ll get there. You just keep the goal in sight, and your goal is to build a habitat for butterflies.”
Gulliver shook his head a fraction of an inch. “No, the goal is to one day build an entire reserve,” he explained. “Maybe it’s a pipe dream, but it drives me to do what I’m doing now. You’re right, if I don’t take this step, I can’t take the next one or the next one.”
I stood and leaned over both arms of his chair, my mouth inches from his. “You’re a good man, Gulliver Winsome, and you’ll accomplish every goal you set for yourself, but not if you don’t get some sleep,” I insisted.
I brought my lips to his gently, my only intention to offer him a little bit of support for his dreams. When he sighed low in the back of his throat, I couldn’t pull away. He needed me tonight. He needed to feel wanted, the same way I did. I slipped my hand up his face to bury itself at the nape and tugged him closer. I was going to own this kiss with my tongue, my lips, and my whole being. Gulliver sighed again, and his lips parted, waiting for my tongue to waltz in and take what it wanted from him. It wanted all of him. Every breath. Every fear. Every dream.
His hands grasped my face, and his long fingers massaged the back of my neck while his lips massaged mine. “God, Charity,” he hissed when the kiss ended. “You have become my light in this dark world. I don’t know how to even express how much I needed that.”
I leaned my forehead against his and nodded. “You don’t have to because I already understand,” I promised, brushing some curls off his forehead. His eyes told me he was tired, and it was time for him to get some rest. “Do you want me to crash here tonight so you don’t have to drive me back to the campground? I’m sure tongues won’t wag in this small town when I’m not at the campground tomorrow morning.”
“Let them wag,” he whispered, and then his lips found mine again with precise agility. He tugged me over his lap and slid his hands up my shoulders to grasp my neck. His long, warm, slender fingers tipped my head to the right while his lips massaged mine until I released a moan that parted my lips. His tongue used it to its advantage, and with one swipe of the roof of my mouth, he took what he’d wanted since the day I walked into his office.
CHAPTER 10
The sun streamed brightly through the window of my bedroom, and I moaned when the beam landed directly in my eyes. I grabbed my blanket and yanked it over my head, unsure if I was ready to get up and face the day. It was Saturday, and I wasn’t surprised I’d missed the sunrise this morning, considering I’d been up late every night this week. With the threat of theft looming over them, Gulliver and the team were working hard to finish their research, which meant there was no way for me to work on the website with him until the evening. Once he went off to bed, I would write code for several more hours when it was quiet. Since Honey wasn’t coming back until Monday, I spent the majority of the day answering phones and organizing orders. That meant if I wasn’t sleeping, I was working, but sometimes that’s what had to be done.
Now I was nearly ready to launch the website. I had a few more hours of cleaning the site up and testing links, but I planned to finish it today. Once I was confident it was ready to go live, I’d go over it with Gulliver before we published it. Unfortunately, after I hit the publish button, my work at Butterfly Junction would be done. Honey would be back to work on Monday, which meant there was no longer any reason for me to be there.
I didn’t know how to feel about not being there to spend part of each day with him. Sad. Upset. Jealous. All of those were ridiculous feelings to have after knowing someone less than a month, but I did and that was new for me. It was a foreign sensation to miss someone after being apart for only a few hours, but I did. We’d shared meals, secrets, and kisses, and I’d come to live for the time I shared with Gulliver.
I worried once I was no longer useful to him or when he no longer needed me for the business, that he’d stop coming around. It wouldn’t surprise me, though. No one in my life had ever stuck around once they had gotten from me what they wanted. Hell, my parents hadn’t wanted me. What made me think a man like Gulliver Winsome would? His kisses might be hot as hell, and his luscious hazel eyes might be filled with desire every time they met mine, but there was a difference between sexual desire and being in it for the long haul.
The next week without a job stretched before me, and I hummed low in my throat. I had months until I had to be in Indiana for the next job. Perhaps I needed to find more work to fill the time until then. After thinking about the heartache of staying in Plentiful but not seeing Gulliver every day, I couldn’t do it. And I wouldn’t. I would do what I always did, and that was leave.
Every time I got in Myrtle to drive to the next job, I was running. I was running from the memory of my mother walking out the door that warm August day even as I begged her with tears running down my face to stay. When she refused, I begged her to take me with her, promising her all the things a little girl of five would promise. I’ll be good, Momma! I won’t be in the way! I’ll be quiet! Take me with you! She didn’t. She got in the car, and she drove away. When I saw her nine years later in her new life, I could see it fit her better than the one she’d left behind, but it was still hard to understand why I couldn’t have fit into that picture with her. There was no room for my tiny footprint in her life, though.
I groaned and threw the blanket back off my face to stare at the ceiling. “Damn it, Charity. Why did you have to go and think through all of that?”
Probably because running from it was getting too hard. I was tired. I was too old to carry her baggage when she wasn’t even part of my life anymore. I was supposed to leave all that baggage on the side of the road somewhere, but I hadn’t. It still sat on my shoulders and ruined everything else I’d tried to do to forget my past. I was never going to do that as long as I carried those little pieces of her around like an albatross around my neck.
I let out a heavy moan and rocked my head back and forth on the pillow. It was time to motor out of Plentiful and leave behind more innocent victims of my disastrous life. I paused when Mojo patted me with his paw. He always knew when I was getting ready to move on. He sensed the uncertainty in the space around us and wanted to offer me comfort. “What do you think, buddy?” I asked him, my voice breaking the silence of the morning while I rubbed his head. “Do we stay or do we go?”
He didn’t answer other than to wiggle his eyebrows at me with concern. I sighed. Would staying help me fix some of the disastrous parts of my childhood? Whenever I rode the BMX bike Laverne loaned me, I felt like a normal kid on a normal summer afternoon. I’d pedal my heart out as the wind blew across my face, offering me abandon, joy, adventure, and unabashed happiness to be that free.
If I had to choose a word to use about where I was in life right now, it would be torn. Part of me wanted to stay in Plentiful and be a kid forever, part of me wanted to motor down to Indiana and set up shop with my dream job, and part of me wanted to fire up Myrtle from site forty-seven of Plentiful Campground and hit the open road. The open road was safe. Most people didn’t understand that, but when you never had a home, the open road and endless miles are your home.
I climbed out of bed, surprised to see the clock read nearly one in the afternoon. No wonder Mojo was staring at me with disgust. I set his breakfast out for him by the picnic table and thought about walking down to the dock for a few minutes, but there was an urgency in my gut to get the website up and running again for Butterfly Junction. As much as I didn’t want my time with Gulliver to end, the sooner the website was running, the sooner he could use it to educate people about the precarious situation we’re in with the pollinators. Not to mention, if we didn’t do something as a society, the Great Lakes would be too polluted to use as a source of drinking water. It was concerning how few people understood that our resources weren’t limitless.
I climbed back into Myrtle and made a piece of toast, and while I sat there eating it, the peanut butter smeared with a sweet layer of honey, I couldn’t help but ponder the truth that was staring me in the face. If I hadn’t agreed to drive across the country to do this job, I wouldn’t know that we had such a serious problem facing our society either. I’d still be out there innocently living my life, not knowing that our own behavior was destroying our future.
I shook my head of those thoughts and got to work on the website again, checking links, adjusting themes, and scanning for spelling errors. It was tedious work, but one of the most important jobs I had to do before I could call it a wrap. When I finished, I was confident it was ready to show Gulliver. I had plans to text him later and ask him to breakfast tomorrow with the excuse I had the site ready to go. I didn’t know if I needed an excuse to have breakfast with him, but just in case I did, I’d use it.
I stood and stretched, poured a glass of iced tea from the pitcher, and sipped it leaning against the sink. With my work done for the day, I checked the clock. It was only three, which gave me plenty of time to either take the bike for a ride around the area or head into town and visit the little thrift shop I’d noticed the other day. They had vintage clothing that looked right up my alley, but I wasn’t sure if they had kids’ clothes as well. Since I wear the same size as a ten-year-old, that was a must. Tonight I’d make a campfire and share some hot dogs with Mojo. It wouldn’t be as much fun as a campfire on the beach with Gulliver under the northern lights, but it would have to do.
A voice from outside the camper floated in and I paused. If I wasn’t mistaken...
I peeked out the door silently, watching as the man I’d come to like a little bit too much stroked Mojo’s head while he talked to him calmly. My big, bad guard dog was eating up the attention like he hadn’t seen him in a week rather than a day. Mojo rolled over and whined every time Gulliver rubbed his belly.
“Hey there, stranger,” I called.
His head snapped up, and he almost fell over on his crutches. “Hey, yourself,” he answered, righting himself. “I was telling Mojo how I couldn’t stay away even though I should be working.”
I jumped down from Myrtle’s door and ran to him, throwing my arms around his waist in a hug. “I missed you,” I whispered while he gathered me into his arms. My head rested on his soft belly and I loved how it felt under my cheek. I might love it a little too much, especially when his cologne drifted into my atmosphere and parts of me came to life that had been dormant for years. Sad to say considering I’m only twenty-six, but life on the road doesn’t offer too many chances for tangled sheets in the morning. Gulliver was different, though. His hugs were different.
