Page 64 of Inherited Light
“Now we’re getting married?” she asked, a little smirk on her face.
“Tomorrow, if you’d do it, but I know it’s going to take a few more weeks and a lot more convincing before it happens.”
She didn’t answer while she stared down at the bed. “I’ve never been intimate with a man. I guess what I mean is I’m a thirty-year-old virgin who can only get off by using a vibrator. At least I think. Is this putting you off at all?” she asked ashamed.
I shook my head. “Not in the least, sweetheart. Yesterday I would have argued for you to remain a virgin until our wedding, but after today, I see it’s not what you want, is it?”
She shook her head. “Maybe if I was a normal woman—”
“You are a normal woman,” I said, shaking her hands a little bit.
She swallowed and tried again. “Maybe if I didn’t have needs the average woman doesn’t have, I would happily wait until I was married, but honestly, all I feel is anxiety, Ren. You’re young and so damn handsome. I’m barely five feet tall and a hundred pounds. I can’t hold myself up and I don’t know how to do some of the basic things women my age know how to do.”
I lifted her legs to the left side of me and leaned over her, kissing her lips. I let my lips tug at hers until gravity broke us apart.
“What if I told you, I did something today to make our first time easier on both of us? Easier for you, so you don’t have to worry about the things you can’t do, and easier on me so I don’t have to worry about hurting you.”
“What did you do?” she asked perplexed.
I held up a finger and climbed off the bed, tugging the pillows out and laying them next to her, finally taking the small kit out of my duffel bag where I had hidden it.
She had her hand to her mouth and I noticed it trembled a little bit as she eyed the items. I handed her the bag and she unzipped it, peeking inside then up at me. “You went to She Likes It Sexy?” she asked.
I nodded. “I did go to She Likes It Sexy. Sorry for the name, but I couldn’t find the pillows anywhere else.”
“I can’t believe you stepped a foot inside their store. It had to be horrifyingly embarrassing.”
I held her against me and kissed her forehead. “In the beginning, yes, but once through the door, I found it somewhat liberating. I told the clerk what I needed and it turns out they have an entire section devoted to pillows and tools to help those with physical impairments. If I bought the pillows, they threw in the bag for free.”
She lowered the small bag into her lap. “Wow, how…”
“Awesome, kind, refreshing, and accepting?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said on an exhale. “How did you know what to get?”
I smoothed her hair back and kissed her neck. “I didn’t, so I pictured the first time we made love in my mind. It was easy then because I could see the positions you couldn’t get into yourself, and the ways you would need to be supported. I originally stopped in to buy the pillows, but since I didn’t know what kind of sensation you had in your pelvis, I decided to get the kit just in case. The clerk said it was better to have it and not need it—”
“Then need it and not have it?” she asked, her voice breathy as I bit down gently on her neck.
“Exactly,” I finished. “I want your first time to be something you remember forever, Cat. What do you say just for now we pretend nothing exists beyond these walls?”
“Just for now?” she asked, as my hands slithered up her chest to rest between her breasts.
“Just for now,” I whispered, “let me love you the way you deserve to be loved. I have protection with me,” I promised.
Her breath hitched when I ran my thumb across her nightshirt over her erect nipple. “I’m on birth control.”
I didn’t let her finish. My lips were on hers and her hands were braced against my chest as I straddled her. Where our other kisses were languid and unhurried, tonight’s kisses were fast, noisy, and hot as we stripped each other of clothes. She ran her hands over my bare chest, her fingers curling in the soft hair over my nipples. My boxer shorts were on, but tented and I rubbed against her gently, being careful not to put too much pressure on her. I sat back on my knees and tugged her nightshirt over her head, throwing it on the floor beside the bed as I took in her naked body lying under me. I ran my finger over a neoprene belt wrapped around her abdomen.
She stopped my hand from pulling on the Velcro. “Leave it. Then the tube won’t get pulled on.”
I met her eyes and understood. She had bought the belt in hopes of being intimate with me. The thought made me moan and I ran my hands up the sides of her ribs, drinking in how her nipples thrust upward at me and her stomach quivered with pent up desire.
“Ren, touch me,” she begged.
I held my finger against her lips. “I’m memorizing every little thing about you, sweetheart. There will only be one first time and I don’t want to forget the feel of you under me, the way the chill in the room raises goosebumps across your skin, and the way your nipples beg me to touch them.”
She took a deep breath and her chest rose, but before it fell I had one of those teasing nipples in my mouth, and her hands wrapped in my hair.
