Page 16 of Inherited Light
Her hand slid up my face and she held it against my cheek. “What’s wrong with Cinn? Your texts last night said she was home and doing better.”
I stared over her head toward the lake because I didn’t think I could talk about Cinn without sadness leaking out my eyes. “Cinn is having a hard time as reality has set in.”
“I don’t understand,” she said quietly, still holding my face. “What’s the reality? She needs more medication? Isn’t she used to it by now?”
I nodded, and her hand bobbed with my face in a synchronized dance. “Yes, but she’s been off this particular medication for nearly a year. They told her if she could stay off it, she might be able to have a baby. It would still be a high-risk pregnancy, but her doctors felt with the right formula of nutrition she could pull it off, if she didn’t relapse.”
“And she has?” she asked.
I ran a hand through my thick black hair. “Yeah, she has. The reason she’s been tired, the tube feedings have been uncomfortable, and she can’t swallow, which she didn’t tell anyone, is because the Crohn’s disease has gone up into her stomach and esophagus. She has to go back on the medication which absolutely precludes pregnancy.”
She rubbed her thumb under my eye and I realized too late some of my sadness had leaked out anyway. I swiped away the tear on the other side and sucked in a deep breath through my nose.
“I’m sorry, Lorenzo. I know you and Cinn are close. It’s hard to see the people we love hurting.”
I let out the breath I was holding and answered. “I had to leave because she was so despondent I didn’t know how to comfort her. She went from being upbeat and happy one minute to laying in Foster’s arms crying the next. It was more than I could handle, not only experiencing her pain, but her husband’s as he wore a look of searing heartbreak with each sob to tear from her body. She wanted to do this one thing for them, and she couldn’t.” I stared up at the sky and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I thought I processed the whole scene, but I guess not.”
“Don’t apologize for having feelings, Ren. You would have to be one cold-hearted man not to react this way to your sister’s pain. I’m sorry. I know how much she loves Foster and how destroyed she must be to have this setback.”
“He told me last night her problems started only a few months after they took her off the drug. She wouldn’t eat at night, and switched to Ensure drinks. At the time, she said it was because of the stress from dealing with Tabitha’s deception and Mabel’s death, but now he can see she never should have gone off her medication. So, on top of her pain, he’s beating himself up and feeling guilty for not taking her to the doctor sooner.”
“Hindsight is always twenty-twenty,” she soothed.
I took her hands again and kissed her knuckles. “I know, but I’m going to stop talking about it now so I don’t ruin the whole evening. I’ve enjoyed myself too much.”
“I’ve had a great time too, and you’re welcome to unload on me as much as you need to. I don’t think sharing your feelings ruins anything. In fact, I would say it gives me a glimpse into the man you really are. You said you want to be happy, but happiness is defined many ways. What’s your definition?”
I smiled and held her gaze again, finally. “It’s simple, actually. I want a job to fulfill me intellectually, and a woman who fulfills me emotionally and physically. I want a little house near a park where I can take my wife and hopefully, someday, a couple of Little Leaguers to swing and play. If I had those things I would be happy for the rest of my life.”
“Little Leaguers?” she asked and I chuckled.
“I coach Little League on Saturday mornings. I love spending time with the kids. It makes me feel like I make a difference in their lives. I guess it’s my way of saying I want kids.” I shrugged and she smiled at my explanation.
“It’s a good way to express why you want kids. You enjoy teaching them things about life, and nothing teaches kids about the ups and downs of life more than baseball. What kind of job do you think will fulfill you?”
“Honestly?” I asked, and she whispered, ‘of course’. “I want to learn the trade, and eventually teach carpentry for a vocational college. First, I have to put the time in and learn everything I can.”
“And you don’t think you’ll be able to learn everything working for a big company?”
I let the left side of my lips tip up. “How’d you guess?”
“The tone of your voice, the set of your shoulders when you answered my question earlier, and the way I can see you working through in your mind how to rebuild my wheelchair ramp so it’s safe and easier to use.”
My mouth dropped open a little bit and she laughed; the sound was melodic, but stimulating in such a way all I wanted to do was kiss her.
“How did you know?” I asked and she waved her hand at me, crossing her arms on her lap.
“You’re a carpenter and I could see if it had been any other day you would have started ripping boards off and shoring the whole thing up. Honestly, the ramp almost stopped me from saying yes to dinner. I suspected you would feel obligated to fix it once you used it.”
“I don’t feel obligated,” I said, shaking my head. “Not at all, because obligation infers fixing the ramp would be some kind of moral duty of mine to save the damsel in distress in the house. You’re not a damsel in distress, not by a long shot. No, I don’t feel obligated, but I am going to fix the ramp. I care about you, and I won’t rest if I’m worried about your safety when you use it. There are a lot of emotions swirling in me right now, but obligation isn’t one of them.”
She leaned forward and rested her head on my chest. “You have the most unique outlook on life, Mr. Dalton.”
I let my arms go around her back and I held her lightly, but with enough force to imply I truly enjoyed hugging her. “I hope that’s a good thing,” I answered.
She gazed up at me, and the overhead light caught the gold flecks in her eyes, making them dance. “It’s a very good thing,” she whispered as my lips lowered to hers for the first time.
I rolled her up the ramp slowly, wanting to prolong the last few moments of our time together as much as possible. She unlocked the door while I held her chair, so it didn’t roll backward, and then helped her into the house. She spun quickly, grabbing my wrist so I couldn’t leave. “Do you have to go, or do you have time for a nightcap?”
