Page 58 of Hiding Rose
I shrugged. “Let’s recap. If I had been smarter and not ended up pregnant, I would have walked away from Jarrett none the wiser to his craziness.”
She nodded and smiled, patting my hand. “But if you hadn’t been pregnant you also wouldn’t have met Sawyer. I wish like hell it hadn’t happened that way, but I guess I’m saying everything works out the way it’s supposed to, one way or the other. We have to be the ones to decide if we let the wrong way control us for the rest of our lives, or if we grab the second chance when it comes our way.”
“Like you and Gideon,” I said. “I recall telling you to give him a second chance.”
“You did,” she agreed, her head nodding and a smile on her face. “I trusted your opinion, so I took a chance and here we are. You and I are working together again, and you have a chance to be as happy with Sawyer as I am with Gideon. All you have to do is stop punishing yourself for something beyond your control.”
I tipped my head to the left. “I’m not sure if I’m punishing myself as much as I’m questioning myself, Kate. I read Jarrett completely wrong. He didn’t exhibit signs of his mental issues, but I knew something wasn’t right. I suppose it’s why I had no qualms about walking away from him with no monetary support for the baby. Some kind of warning bell was ringing loudly in my head.”
She shook her head sadly. “Even if that’s the case, Rosie, you still didn’t do anything wrong. There are women in this world who marry and live with a man for years and never expect him to snap and beat them half to death. You aren’t alone in your pain, guilt, questions, and self-doubt, but you don’t have to let it control you.”
I bit my bottom lip and rested my head on my hand. “You’re saying if I don’t stop with the self-sabotage I’ll ruin what could be a beautiful thing with Sawyer.”
She touched my nose. “Bingo. Second chances only come around once.”
Sawyer’s smiling face flitted through my mind. “They sure do.”
Kate rubbed my shoulder and stared intently into my eyes. "Now then. Let's start over. It seems something has changed between you and Sawyer."
I laughed openly, my heart a little bit lighter. "Only for the better. We're in love."
She clapped happily. "Soulmates I hear."
I put my hand to my chest and nodded, holding back tears. "I finally understand."
"Feeling like you need the other person just to breathe, when a few weeks before you were living your life fine?" she asked.
I nodded, knowing she'd understand. "Our time in Honolulu showed me I've never been in love before. Not this kind of love. His tenderness and support at the clinic was the only reason I didn’t break into a million shattered pieces when the doctor told me there was nothing he could do."
Kate rubbed my shoulder. "Gideon is beside himself with guilt for sending you with the hope of relief when there wasn’t anything for you there."
"He shouldn't," I said, clearing my throat of the tears. "He tried to help. Believe me when I say, I knew in my heart of hearts the chances were slim Dr. Keoki could help me. You can look at the leg and see the damage is beyond repair. It was hard, but it was time I heard it. I have to face reality. This is me now. Jarrett took my leg and my baby, but I won't give him my second chance. A pity party will only give him the win, and I refuse. There's no way I would ever be upset with Gideon. All I want to do is make him proud of this center and show him I appreciate all he's done for me."
She leaned in and hugged me, her arms comforting when she whispered, "Are you kidding? He brags about you and this daycare center nonstop. Maybe when you see him next you could tell him to chill? Hope and I aren't having much success."
I smiled and nodded over her shoulder. "I'll do my best."
She released me and held her hands out. "Guess we better get back to work."
I pushed up from the table carefully and steadied myself. “We better. I have to go pick up my new brace in a few hours and apparently Sawyer has a surprise in the works.”
She lifted one eyebrow as she began to unload a baby swing. “A surprise? Sounds intriguing.”
I gave her the palms out. “It’s all he would say, but I would bet it involves food.”
Kate burst out laughing, her silliness contagious and soon I was giggling, too. “It’s a pretty good chance,” she said, crying tears of laughter. “He’s always cooking something.”
I shook my head and grabbed a baby bouncer, slicing the box open. “When we were in Honolulu he actually begged the chef at Orchid Reef to let him cook our meal, and he did.”
Kate brushed her hand at me. “He and Chef Winehouse go way back. Sawyer used to train their sous chefs when we owned the resort. Sawyer and Sam still work together. They’re on the board for the Community Table. Sawyer runs the one in Maui and Sam in Honolulu.”
I waved my hand at her. “Wait. He said he was on the board and cooks food once a month. He didn’t say he ran it.”
She made a snorting sound as if to say I have a ton to learn about him yet. “He told you a fib then because he runs it. It was his conception. I helped him set it up as a legal nonprofit when I married Gideon. He has a real thing for women and kids who have been abused.”
“He feeds them as a way to heal them,” I whispered. “I get it now.”
She leaned on a table, her eyes curious. “Get what?”
