Page 41 of Hiding Rose
He took my crutches as I sat on the edge of the bed. “I know, but it won’t be forever.”
I leaned down to untie my shoes. “I have sand in my shoes and it’s driving me crazy.”
He knelt and untied the offending laces, removing them from my feet carefully, so the sand didn’t dump on the carpet. The moment he took the brace off, my foot flipped outward in a painful arc. He bit his lip and closed his eyes. “Dammit, I hate this for you,” he said. He peeled my socks off and wet a paper towel. Lovingly, he cleaned the sand off the bottom of my foot and my toes.
“I’m going to the doctor next week,” I reminded him. “I’m hoping he has something to help me with the torsion. I was wondering, if…uh,” I paused and he glanced up from where he was rubbing the warm towel over my feet.
“If what?” he asked, his head cocked to the side.
I twisted my hands and stared at my feet instead of his face. “If you’d come with me?” He sat stunned in silence for too long, so I held up my hand. “Forget I asked. I know, it was dumb. I just thought maybe—”
He reared up and planted his lips on mine, hushing me with a kiss which spoke volumes about how we both felt about each other. His tongue aggressively filled every crevice of my mouth until we both had to come up for air or pass out trying. He held his finger to my lips as he sucked in air. “I’ve been praying you would ask me to come with you, so no, it wasn’t dumb and I won’t forget you asked. I already have my sous chef ready to cover in the kitchen for me in case you asked. I want to be there with you, to support you, and to be a second set of ears to hear what the doctor says.” He ran his hand down my face in a soft caress. “Thank you for asking.”
I put my arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you for saying yes. You don’t know what it means to me not to have to face all of this alone anymore.”
He rubbed my back and buried his nose in my neck. “Too many people love you here for you to do this alone, Rose.”
“Like you,” I said and he nodded reluctantly, his face still hidden in my neck. “I’m a hot mess, Sawyer, and loving me is always going to be a challenge. Physically I’ll only heal as far as the damage allows and then I’ll be left with the deficits in my leg for the rest of my life. The scars will be a constant reminder of what another man did to me. Do you want to love a woman whose been disabled by another man? You could have any woman you wanted on this island. Choosing me will be fraught with anxiety and medical issues.”
He shook his head in my neck and finally released me, grasping my hands. “No, choosing you is not fraught with issues. There’s no other woman on this island I give two hoots about. I’ve only had eyes for you since we first met. I knew you were skittish of men, and I worked to gain your trust and make you smile the past eight months. Did I succeed?”
I nodded, my hand on his cheek. “Sometimes your visits to the center were the only thing keeping me going. The stories you’d tell about growing up on the island made me feel as if I was part of the culture here. I was afraid of your visits, but yearned for them at the same time.”
“What were you afraid of?” he asked, his hand over mine still on his face.
“This,” I whispered. “Falling for you, but knowing what I offer you is subpar to what other women can offer. Falling for you and knowing my leg will always be there, as an expense and a nuisance.”
“Do you think Mr. I.T. cared about Ellie’s leg being an expense or a nuisance when he fell for her?” he asked.
I shrugged. “He didn’t know about it until he had already fallen for her. It’s hard to compare.”
He smiled and rose to kiss me, but kept his lips on mine. “Your argument is invalid then because I fell for you knowing full well what was wrong with your leg. You don’t seem to understand your leg isn’t a factor in what I see in you. My breath left my chest the first time I saw you, and considering you were damn near dead, I think that’s a huge point on your side of the scoreboard.”
I swallowed hard. He was right. The first time he brought food to my room in the hotel, I couldn’t get out of bed, and I still wore the marks of another man on my body. Kate had flown to Snowberry the same day I called her, and after five days in the hospital they released me. I couldn’t go home since Jarrett was still out there. She packed me up, loaded me onto a flight to Seattle, and after a few days to recover there, she brought me here. “I was a mess,” I agreed. “A hotter mess than I am now, but you were kind to me, always cooking me whatever I craved, and making sure you got it to my room quickly.”
He smiled and twisted to sit on the bed. “Sometimes, when people are sick, sad, or both, you can miss the window of them wanting to eat if you take too long. It became my passion to feed you until you were strong enough to take your life back. I didn’t know why you were the way you were, but you had already grabbed the strings to my heart. The guys in the kitchen would snicker when they’d get your order and I would literally drop anything I was doing to make it. I wouldn’t let anyone else touch your food if I was in the kitchen. As I cooked, your beautiful yet pained eyes filled my mind and,” he shrugged, “I don’t know, I had to be there for you. I wasn’t given a choice. I was drawn to you.”
I slipped my hand into his and grasped it tightly. “I wouldn’t have made it without you. You were the one to coax me to eat when no one else could. Those early days are what make it hard for me to believe you’re in love with me now. I was beaten, scared, and undeniably broken,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
He shook his head and put his arm around my shoulder. “You weren’t broken, you were slightly bent. Once you gained your strength back you showed us all the nature of your character. You’re a brilliant businesswoman, kind, caring, understanding, and loving to the kids in the center regardless of their abilities or disabilities. I’ve watched you care for Bim, spending hours helping him with his therapy, so he can have a better life. When I saw you building towers with him, and encouraging him to do just one more block,” he said, his hand tightening in mine, “I didn’t see your leg. I saw your heart. We can work around the leg as long as your heart is in the game.”
I stared at my lap, his hand and mine twined together there. “My heart is definitely in the game, but I’m scared.”
“Of?”
“Honestly?” I asked and he nodded. “Everything.”
He released my hand and grasped my shoulders, lowering me to his chest where he held me in his arms. “It’s understandable, Rose, and I’m not going to push you to do anything you don’t want to do. If we take it one step at a time eventually we still get to the finish line.”
I tilted my head up to meet his gaze. A tear dripped down my cheek and he brushed it away, his expression curious. “What’s the matter? Does your leg hurt?” he asked concerned.
I pursed my trembling lips to force them to work. “Those three words you said in the elevator are tumbling around in my head and I can’t say them. I want to, but they won’t come out. It makes me feel like a terrible woman.”
He leaned down and kissed me gently, his lips unhurried and his tongue remaining hidden in its own den. When he ended the kiss, he held my eyes. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I understood when I said them how hard it would be for you to say them back, if you ever could. I guess I’m the kind of guy who wears my heart on my shirtsleeve. I can’t always hide my emotions or avoid saying how I feel, even when I want to. This is the first time in my thirty years of life I’ve ever understood what love feels like. Some might say its infatuation, but the fact is, infatuation implies it’s a short-lived crush, and I’ve already been in love with you for months. This isn’t infatuation and it isn’t going away anytime soon. As long as you keep sharing your life with me, I don’t need to hear the words, at least not until you can say them without reserve. Okay?”
I nodded, my cheek brushing against his chest. My hand snaked under his soft, wavy black hair to his cheek. “I never dreamed I would ever meet anyone like you. Of course, it would be after I was destroyed by another man, just to complicate matters.”
He smiled and swiveled his head to kiss my hand. “Sometimes we have to walk through the dark to get to the light. I won’t say everything happens for a reason. What you went through wasn’t something God would want to happen to teach you about life. Jarrett was pure evil and there’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. I thank God every day you’re a fighter and your path led you here, to me, and to a new life. I will take care of you, if you’ll let me.”
