Page 36 of Trusting Trey
“Now that we’re situated, big or little?” he asked and I cocked my head.
“Big or little what?” I asked, laughing as he bounced on his toes.
“Big or little present? I have some of both,” he clarified pulling out packages from behind the tree where I couldn’t see them in the dark.
I felt uncomfortable suddenly. “I hope you didn’t spend too much on me--”
He held up his hand and put the other on his hip. “Don’t worry about what I spent on you. Just let me enjoy spoiling you today, okay?”
I nodded, sighing inside at how wonderful he was. “Let’s go little and work our way up.”
He sat in front of me cross-legged and handed me a shirt box wrapped in paper that said, ‘Do Not Open until December 25’ all over it with candy canes splashed liberally across it as well.
I flipped the box over and slipped a finger under the lip, pulled the paper off and opened the box. He watched my face intently as I laid the box on my lap and pulled apart the tissue paper. Inside were two pairs of jeans. I looked at him quizzically and he motioned at them.
“Hold one up,” he encouraged, so I lifted out the black pair and held them by the waistband. The back of the jeans had no pockets and elastic around the waist with Velcro on each side. “They’re jeans for wheelchair users,” he explained. “There aren’t any pockets or rivets to sit on to cause discomfort. The Velcro opens on the sides and they’re easy to pull down to use the restroom, and the extra high material makes it easier to sit in them without the back sliding down.”
I folded them into my chest and grinned at him. “I was just thinking this morning how I hated these stretch pants. Thank you, Trey. I didn’t even know they made something like this.”
“I have a few connections,” he said, as I inspected the pants. “I’m glad you like them.”
I shook my head a little bit. “I love them. It sounds silly, but when the accident took everything from me, including wearing clothes that don’t make me look frumpy, it’s hard to feel good about myself. This means more to me than you understand.”
He knelt forward and kissed me, my arm going around and holding his neck as he kissed me, his love painfully wonderful. “It won’t be forever, beautiful. I believe it and I know you believe it somewhere deep inside.”
I rested my forehead on his. “Down deep in my heart I want to walk again, and that gives me hope that I haven’t given up and accepted this as the best I’ll ever get. In the meantime, I appreciate everything you’re doing to help me through this time. It seems crazy to cry over jeans, but you don’t know how hard I’m trying not to right now.”
He hugged me gently and kissed my neck. “Don’t ever think you have to hide your emotions, Allie. I spend my life trying to do everything I can to help patients get their lives back, but when it’s the woman I love who needs me, I will stop at nothing to make you happy, feel secure, and loved. I will always fight for your right to have the kind of life you want. Do you understand?”
I nodded, still trying to fight back tears. “You’re always so loving and tender. I wish you weren’t going through what you are right now. You deserve nothing but happiness. That’s what I want to give you,” I whispered.
He held my chin and kissed me again. “I’m always happy when I’m with you, sweetheart. There’s nothing that makes me happier than being with you.”
He leaned back and took another box from under the tree, bigger this time, and handed it to me. It was heavy and bulky, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. There were little North Pole signs all over the paper and I laughed as I ripped into the paper with vigor, wondering what he could have wrapped up in there. The box was square and deep, so I set it on the floor and took the lid off. Peering between the tissue paper I gasped as my hands reached for the coat inside. I lifted it out and discovered it was a grey pea coat, the buttons down the front stylish, and a high collar to protect my neck from the wind. The front was long and I curiously turned it around. My hands started shaking when I saw the back. The back used Velcro to open and close it, and all I had to do was slip my arms in and lean back to close the Velcro. The coat would only go down to the level of the back of my wheelchair, and it wouldn’t bunch up and be uncomfortable.
I looked up and he had a huge grin on his face. “I really wanted to give that to you yesterday, but I knew you would refuse to open a present early.”
I laughed even though tears fell from my eyes. “You know me well. I’m excited, Trey. A coat that fits me and isn’t uncomfortable in my chair is like a dream come true. By the looks of it, it will come down over my knees and keep them warm, too.”
He shook his head a little and laid his hand on my outstretched leg. “I’m saddened by the fact that the only thing you wanted for Christmas were things to make you comfortable, but I’m happy that I got to be the one to do that. I couldn’t let you go on any longer without a coat.”
I opened the Velcro in the back and stuck my arms in the coat, leaning back against the pillow. The front of the coat came nearly to my ankles and he laughed with vigor. “For most people it comes to their knees. But you, you get a coat and blanket in one.” He winked and I pulled my legs up to hold them. His eyes grew round and he held his breath, pointing at me. “You just moved your legs without using your hands!”
I looked down at my legs encircled in my arms then looked back up at him, my heart racing. “I did!” I said excitedly. I told my body to stretch my legs out, trying with all my might after letting go of them with my hands, but they only fell to the right, knocking into the tree. I frowned. “So much for that.”
He knelt on his knees and took hold of my legs, pulling them down into a comfortable position again, then tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear. “What you just did was a daddy step in a world of baby steps, Allie. Your brain is learning how to rewire itself and get the job done. Being able to actively move your legs like that is huge.”
I scratched my temple for a minute and looked up at him. “But if I could bring them up to my chest, why couldn’t I straighten them again?”
He helped me take the coat off and laid it on the couch before he spoke. “Probably because you didn’t make the first motion consciously. Trying to do the same thing by telling your brain what to do doesn’t work. Think of it the same way you think about breathing.”
“I don’t think about breathing, I just do it,” I said confused.
“Exactly my point. Your brain automatically knows what to do to keep air going in and out of your lungs. Your brain has now figured out an automatic response to an unconscious motion, but if you try to do the same motion consciously, you’re telling your brain to do it the way it used to, not the way it knows how to do it now.”
I looked down at my legs and tried to make sense of what he said. “You’re saying my brain made them move because I didn’t tell it how to move them, like before my accident. That my brain found a new pathway, and as long as I don’t try to order it to do it the old way, it will follow the new way?”
He nodded, excitement and happiness making his eyes glow bright blue. “That’s right. Eventually, after your brain has done it the new way for a few months, then you’ll be able to tell it what to do and it will automatically know the pathway to take, regardless of what you’re telling it.”
