Page 20 of Trusting Trey
“Allie, are you okay?” Trey called from the doorway as I gasped, unable to say anything. He reached in with a towel and I took it with the hand that didn’t hold my leg. “It’s okay, let me help you,” he said soothingly, pulling the curtain aside and lifting me off the bath stool. He whisked me to his bed and laid me down, covering me with the towel and taking my leg in his hand, massaging it up and down in a rhythm that eased the cramp, so I could breathe again. He whispered to me quietly as his hands moved on my leg and I closed my eyes, sucking in air to relieve my burning lungs.
“I guess I should have brought you home sooner,” he whispered, his hands kneading away the pain. “I didn’t take into account how hard it is for you to sit in the chair for a long time. I’m sorry, baby. Forgive me?” he asked.
I nodded, but the room was chilly laying there wet and I began to shake from the cold air. He kept one hand rubbing up and down my leg, and the other pulled the comforter out from under me and then he covered me with it, pulling the towel out once the blanket was over me.
“We’ll get you warm,” he promised, tucking all but the offending leg under the warm blanket. The blanket carried the scent of his aftershave and I inhaled deeply, forgetting about the pain for a few moments as I saw us together on our first date again. Then I saw all the times he sat in the chair by my hospital bed and the times he made me laugh until I cried while reading to me.
“Is the cramp better?” he asked and I nodded.
“Yes, thank you. I think I got overtired. I probably shouldn’t have attempted a shower by myself.”
He sat next to me on his knees and continued to rub my leg. “You’ve got this. Don’t second-guess yourself, Allie. You can do anything you put your mind to, including showering yourself.”
He was right. I had been showering myself now for a month since mymadidn’t need to stay here with me during the day anymore. When they released me from the hospital, they sent along a shower bench that went over the side of the tub, allowing me to swing onto the bench from my chair and then to use a lever to slide myself into the tub. Trey had installed a handheld shower sprayer and easy reach grab bars. I still didn’t shower unless he was home, in case exactly what happened today occurred.
“I know and I’ve never had a cramp like that before. What do you think it means?” I asked, snuggling into the down comforter.
“Remember Dr. Fatma said you might get Charlie horses,” he reminded me.
“I know, but he said not until my spinal cord starts healing and my brain learns new ways to tell the muscles what to do.”
He was grinning and nodding as I spoke. Then my words rolled through my head again and I sat up straight. “Oh my gosh!”
He enveloped me in his arms and hugged me to him, his laughter audibly hopeful. “As much as I don’t want to say I’m glad you’re getting Charlie horses, I’m glad you’re getting Charlie horses.”
I laughed with him and lay on his chest. “Maybe God threw me a bone after I talked to Pastor Franks.”
He leaned back to look at me and we both realized at the same moment, I was naked from the top up, the blanket having fallen away when I sat up. I know he was trying not to look, but he wasn’t succeeding and I noticed his Adam apple bob up and down at the sight of my bare chest.
He ran his hand down my face, his eyes locked with mine rather than wandering over my body. “You’re gorgeous, Allie. I’m doing my best not to let on how much I want to be with you, because now is not the time, but knowing you’re lying bare and warm in my bed right now is torturing me. I’ve spent every night since you moved in, lying here wishing I was holding you. You’ve captivated me since that first day at the library and being this close to you has only strengthened how I feel about you.”
I had lain back in the bed, not covering myself with the blanket. “How do you feel about me?” I asked, my hand reaching for his.
He caught it in midair and twined his fingers in mine. “I’m not sure you’re ready for me to tell you that. You’ve dealt with all of this over the last few months, and I’m so proud of you for taking it one day at a time and not letting the anger kill your joy.”
I reached up and caressed his face with my free hand. “That’s not how it was when I talked with Pastor Franks tonight,” I said, and his head cocked the way it does when he wants to hear more. “He told me that God wasn’t punishing me. He was building me in His vision and He was strengthening me and holding me up as I take this journey.”
He put his hand over mine on his cheek. “I believe he’s right, honey. Not that it makes it any easier for you to deal with, but He is working in you to lead you to what you’re meant to do in life.”
I shrugged. “I hope so because right now it feels like I have no options. I can’t drive and can’t work. It’s hard to find what I’m supposed to do in life when I’m dependent on someone else.”
He smiled and kissed my palm. “Patience is the key here, Allie. I know it’s hard to be patient, but it has only been a few months since the accident. It will take you a little while to see how this will change your life.”
I nodded my head a little, my breasts bouncing with the movement and he moaned a little, clearing his throat to try and hide it. “He also told me that He hadn't abandoned me during the worst time, just the opposite was true and He was there for me. I told him I didn't believe that."
He cleared his throat as though speaking that way to a minister was hard for him to swallow. "What was his response?”
"He told me if I thought about it long enough I would see it was true. He was right, too."
He rubbed his hand over my bare belly and made it quiver with excitement. "Do you care to tell me how you know he was right?"
I pointed toward his bathroom and locked eyes with his. "Just now, when I cried out, you were there to help me. The same way you were there that night I cried out for help. You’re always there to help me even though you had to put your whole life aside to help me recover. I see that he was right in the way you won't let me sit in the house and mope, but inspire me to get better so I can walk again. I realized that you are His right hand holding me up."
"Oh sweetheart, I think you give me far more credit than I deserve, but I'm glad you’re here and spending this time with me. I haven't put anything aside to help you recover. Just the opposite is true. You've helped me recover."
"Recover from what? Are you ill?"
He shook his head. "No, it was more of an emotional healing. There's a reason I left the Twin Cities and moved to Duluth, and it didn't have anything to do with finding a job."
