Page 19 of Trusting Trey
Since that morning in the hospital neither of us had mentioned the ‘L’ word. It felt to me as if he assumed I knew he did, therefore he didn’t have to say it again. To be honest, I wish he would say it. It might make me feel more secure in where we were, but also in telling him how I felt in my heart.
“You look stunning,” he said as he walked toward me, bracing his hands on the arms of my chair. He leaned in and kissed me, his lips soft against mine for no more than a moment.
I looked down at the dress and back to his face. “Thank you. I don’t know about stunning, but it feels good to dress up and feel pretty, even if I’m in this old granny chair.”
He knelt in front of me and put his hands on my knees. “We should do something about that granny chair, shouldn’t we? Put some flames on it or something?”
I laughed and put my hands over his. “Maybe racing stripes, if I could ever get it going faster than one mile per hour.”
He laughed and stood, taking hold of the handles on the back of the chair. “I guess we’d better get going for some turkey day celebrating. I know I have a lot to be thankful for,” he said locking the brakes on my chair after he rolled me into the garage where his car sat waiting.
“You do?” I asked, transferring onto the seat of the Subaru while he folded my chair and rolled it to the back. The chair went into the hatch and then he sat in the driver’s seat and shut his door.
“Yes, I do. I have a beautiful woman on my arm today. What more do I need to be thankful for?” He smiled as he pushed the button on the garage door opener before backing the car out.
“More like your arms are pushing me,” I muttered.
“On my arms, in my arms, whichever, it’s all the same to me. I’m thankful to have you with me at all.”
He smiled at me before he backed out onto the street. The words were on the tip of my tongue and I waited for him to say it first, but he didn’t, so instead we drove in silence to a church where I knew no one and no one knew me.
“Can I get you something to eat, dear?”
I looked up from the table where I was handing out raffle tickets, and the minister of the church was standing alongside my chair, shaking hands with the last few people coming in the door.
“Thank you, Pastor, but I’m okay right now,” I said, ripping off the raffle ticket and handing the claim stub to the woman in front of me. They were raffling gift cards and gift baskets from local businesses for the Christmas season. Each child that came today got a new pair of pajamas and warm outerwear if they needed it. The community had really come together to help the less fortunate this year and even in my less than happy holiday mood, it was great to see.
Some of my sorority sisters were helping in the kitchen, but we didn’t have a lot of time to chat. I’ve seen Daphne at least once a week since the accident, because she’s pushy and refuses to stay away, but seeing the other girls here today made me feel guilty about not trying harder to see everyone. I promised them we would get together at Drakos Agape in December. We could have lunch and I could answer some of their questions about what happened the best I could. Too much of that time was still a black void.
“Fear not, for I am with you,” a voice said, and I jumped, only to see Pastor Franks had sat down next to me in the empty chair. “Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
I tapped a pen against the table as I listened to him. “Isaiah, right?” I asked and he nodded.
“That’s correct, but it isn’t the only place in the Bible where we’re told this. It’s sprinkled liberally throughout all the chapters.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said, trying to give him the fake smile I use when the restaurant is busy and I’m trying to keep it together.
“You don’t seem to believe it, eh?” he asked and I shrugged.
“I guess I haven’t had to put it into play a lot in my life.”
“I know who you are, Allison. I know what you’ve gone through, at least some of it, and I know that He is with you and He will strengthen you more than he already has.”
I rubbed my back, the chair uncomfortable if I spent too many hours in it. “I suppose. Do you think He could strengthen me faster?”
He laughed as though that wasn’t the first time he had heard that request. “He’s building you in His vision. It will not be fast, but it will be worth it. There will be trials that test your faith in Him, and there will be times that you rejoice in the hope of the day, but it will all be worth it.”
I bit my lip, and stared straight ahead at the wall of the church basement. “It’s hard to have faith when He chose to make me stronger this way. It feels like he’s punishing me for sinning rather than building me in His vision.”
He laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. “He’s not punishing you, Allison. It certainly feels like it I’m sure, but let me ask you a question. When you needed Him the most, was He there?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, my voice no longer angry, only sad and tired.
He stood and took my hand. “I think you do, Allison, if you take some time to think about it.”
He moved behind me and patted my shoulder as he walked toward the dwindling line at the buffet. When the line parted, I saw Trey loading up two plates of food as he laughed along with whatever the man in front of him had said. He balanced both trays of food until one of my sorority sisters took the drinks from his hand and motioned toward where I sat watching them. He turned and his smile made me think I did know what Pastor Franks meant after all.
I grabbed my calf in pain and cried out, the spasm intense and I almost threw up the Thanksgiving dinner we had shared earlier. I was too tired to stay for pie, and when we got home, I wanted nothing more than a shower and bed.
