Page 189 of Swords of Soul and Shadow
He took another bite and then lowered the sandwich. A few stray breadcrumbs clung to his beard. Without thinking, Hallie reached over and brushed them off, her fingertips lingering a beat too long. The coarse hair tickled her skin.
He swallowed his food and caught her hand before she could take it back. “I love you.”
Stars, she’d thought she’d cried herself out, but the stinging of her too-dry eyes proved otherwise. “I love you, too.”
It was what made all of this so hard. Without him, she might not have cared that much.
His eyes moved to her lips.
And then he was pulling her hand, reeling her in. Time moved at a glacial pace. The gas lantern drew shadows along his jaw and over the scar interrupting his beard on the right side. His lids lowered halfway. He tugged her off the cot and into his lap. The cloth fluttered to the ground on top of the now-discarded sandwich. His other hand brushed a lock of hair that had escaped her braid and followed it behind her ear before tracing her jaw to her lips.
The moment fell upon them like new fallen snow, and a softsomethingzinged between them, raising goosebumps along her skin. His mouth formed itself into a half-smile, one that said he noticed and wanted to do it again. Her heart skipped and fluttered.
The Kase she’d met in that bookshop all those months ago and the one who looked at her now felt like night and day. He’d let down his walls, and she hers. She might not want to be a heroine in her story, but she wanted to be his. The space between them hung heavy with the past, the present, and the future they would never have. But she couldn’t push him away now. Her eyes flicked to his lips, and he took that as a silent invitation.
His kiss was soft and hesitant, opposite to the one they’d shared the night of the bonfire. She closed her eyes, allowingherself to simply feel, to not overanalyze each action or consequence.
Love couldn’t be quantified in lists, term papers, or crumbling artifacts. It couldn’t be defined by ink on parchment.
Kase kissed her as if he’d never have enough of her. It deepened between breaths and heartbeats. The aching want in her chest only grew. She pressed herself against him.
He kissed her as she was, not desperate or needing or out of pain. She kissed him back, opening her mouth, inviting him in.
Her breath hitched, and her head spun. His hand tightened at her waist, the other tangled in her hair. He tasted faintly like cinnamon.
She feltwhole.
Hallie couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt that way.
He pulled back and lightly pressed his forehead to hers. “Feel better now?”
She leaned in and gave him a long, lingering kiss. “No,” she said, breathless, “but it’s okay if you keep trying.”
He chuckled softly, brushing his thumb across her slightly swollen lips, smiling as she leaned into the touch. “I do like a challenge.” He kissed her again, but he broke it before it could go any further than that. “But it’s probably better if we talk, because I don’t know if I…” He cleared his throat. “Let’s go for a walk. Fresh Catacombs air can’t fix a thing, but we might as well try.”
He helped her stand, and Hallie’s knees wobbled. Kase steadied her. He let her go only to help her into his jacket and put her satchel on her shoulder before taking her hand and leading her out into the cavern.
The air was colder out there, but it was warm and cozy wrapped in his pilot’s jacket. They walked along, passing more and more people packing up to leave the Catacombs at last. Witheach person she passed, the reality she’d escaped from for the last half hour with Kase and his lips came crashing back down.
She wanted to go back to that place and never leave, but the noise around her cemented the fact that she couldn’t. She never could.
His hand was a steady lifeline through the milling crowds. He led her right, then left, then left again. They traveled deeper and deeper until only the echoes of their footsteps followed them. Kase finally slowed at the last gas lantern hanging from a hook in the wall.
“Found this earlier.” He nodded back the way they’d come. His guard waited about thirty feet or so away in the light of another lantern. To her left was almost complete darkness.
“And why were you looking for a secluded spot such as this?” Hallie asked, glancing around again. Now that her eyes had adjusted a little more, a soft glow came from far to her left in the darkness. Probably another lantern. All the corridors down here seemed to connect in some way. This was probably just one of the places yet to be used or already cleared out of refugees heading back into the city. “Wanted a good place to do unscrupulous things?”
“I love that you use big words likeunscrupulous.” He lightly kissed her nose. “I needed to clear my head the other day, and I stumbled across this and knew no one would be here now.” He gestured back to his guard looking bored with a hand on his sword. “And you’re safe fromunscrupulous thingsas long as Sergeant stays with us.”
Hallie rolled her eyes. Kase brought his other hand up and played with one of her stray hairs at the nape of her neck. “So talk to me. Please. I would rather not have you upset at me—especially after the other day with the whole card game and…well, you know.”
Hallie wet her lips. Kase traced the movement with his eyes. She could tell he wanted to kiss her again, and besides Sergeant, there was no one there to stop them. Hallie almost pushed aside her fears and the things she needed to tell him and finished what they’d started back in his tent.
But she couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t do that to herself or to Kase. It wasn’t fair.
She swallowed around the words aching in her throat. She might as well just say it. No matter what she said to soften the blow would make it any less cutting.
“I’m not going to reset the Gate.”
