Page 190 of Swords of Soul and Shadow
Kase, who had been brushing his hand up and down her right arm, froze. “What does that mean?”
“My training isn’t working, and I just…I just…”
His eyes narrowed in confusion. “Just tell me, Hallie. What does that mean?”
She looked down at her fingers just poking out of his jacket sleeve. “It means…I’m going to find Correa and use the swords to combine the Essence powers. Then I’m going to return the swords to the Gates. Of course, I need to find the second one first and its sword, and I think my great grandmother’s journals might help with that, but regardless, it’s the only sure way to defeat Jagamot.”
Kase was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Does Saldr know?”
Hallie shook her head. “I made the decision a few hours ago after my session with him and Fely.”
He tipped her chin up and made her look at him, his eyes searching. “And what happens when we combine the Essence powers into those swords? There’s something you’re not telling me.”
Hallie worked her jaw. She didn’t want to cry again. It might break her resolve. No, not might. It would.
“Hals, you can tell me anything, I hope you know that,” he said, his words soft and tender.
She licked her lips again and took a breath. His finger didn’t leave her chin.
Her heart pounded against the cage in her chest. “It means…combining the swords means that I’ll…”
The realization hit him without her having to say it out loud. His hand fell away. “You don’t have to do that. You can’t.”
“I don’t have a choice, Kase.”
He shook his head. “Yes you do. You can go with Saldr’s plan.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
“Why, Hallie?” He gripped her face in both hands, emotion tinging his words.
She put both of her hands on his and drew them away from her cheeks. “It’s the only way to save you.”
“I’m not worth saving,” Kase said, his voice finally breaking all the way. “Not at that cost. I don’t care what happens to me or to anyone else. I only care about you.”
Arms clasped around her middle, Hallie turned away. She wouldn’t cry anymore. She couldn’t. She had to stay strong.
Kase grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him. A tear trekked down his face.
She shook her head and tugged out of his arms. She walked down the corridor toward the other faint light. The warmth she’d forgotten over the last few hours awoke, rising to a simmer just beneath the surface of her skin. She stopped and looked at her hands, allowing the sleeves of Kase’s jacket to fall back as she held them up. They looked normal. But shefeltit.
Kase followed. “Hals…”
She looked toward the soft glow and frowned. There was no other lantern. There was no other side of the tunnel. It wascoming from the ground, and it was familiar. “I thought the tunnels connected.”
He stopped beside her. “Hallie, can we talk about this? Really talk about it? Go through each option and decide together?”
She closed her eyes. “No.”
“But why? Why do you get to go off and sacrifice yourself? Why do you get to make that choice?”
She threw up her hands. “Because I’m a Essence wielder! Because my great-grandmother decided she didn’t want to do this. Because I fell for Correa’s trap. Because I don’t know, Kase. I don’t know, but if I don’t do this, if I follow Saldr’s plan, there’s a chance I never meet you. There’s a chance I never kiss you. There’s a chance I never fall in love with you. This way, I keep that. I keep that, and I know that you’ll survive. I know that you’ll be happy. My way guarantees that even if I never get to finish this life with you…I stillhadit.”
Her throat burned with the words, and her hands shook.
“So that’s why? You’re scared that if you reset the Gate, you’ll lose me?”
“Yes!” The confession broke her heart all over again.
