Page 94 of Give My Everything
They can’t hear about it from someone else.
“Okay. I’ll handle it.”
“I’m not kidding, Remmy.”
“Neither am I, Dominic.”
His eyes narrow at me, and I let out a long sigh.
“You know, when we were younger, you spent a lot more time on my side. Now it feels like you’re always trying to manage me, like I’m a dog that needs to be trained.”
I see his nostrils flare but I ignore it.
“I miss the guy who used to read to me and watch movies with me on weekends and sneak me chocolate when mom wanted me to watch my weight. So it would be great if, at some point, I could have you back as my brother and not as my trainer.”
Something comes over his face as his eyes widen, but I don’t stop to give it a second thought before I head out to the garage.
CHAPTER16
BEN
When I bought this house several years ago, I was envisioning something specific for my life. I hired the best designers and contractors to make it perfect.
Now, it’s just an empty façade. A place where I shower and shave and sleep before leaving again.
It isn’t a place I enjoy being.
Not because of what it wassupposedto represent to me—a future, stability, happiness—but because of who I am now compared to who I used to be.
The man I was when I graduated from college was someone filled with hope, filled with plans and goals and a list of things to accomplish in life, steady in a belief that they were all achievable.
The man I am now struggles to find hope anywhere. Sits rooted in irritation and exhaustion and avoidance. Wonders what exactly the future holds other than more turmoil and betrayal.
The past few years have been…particularly rough for me. Which is why today was so surprising.
Holding Remmy’s hand as we both watched the ultrasound was nothing short of magical. And it’s been a long time since I’ve felt any kind of magic in my life.
I’m starting to wonder if maybe I should let this be what it is and just run with it. Take this friendship with Remmy, this strange thing we seem to have stumbled upon, and just enjoy it for what it is.
I shake my head, wondering when this easygoing, lighthearted version of myself decided to come out to play.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this carefree.
Thinking back, I don’t know if I’veeverbeen this carefree. I’ve always had something intense on my mind, a strong focus, a calculated perspective.
Today, I feel like maybe I should take a break from that and just…enjoy.
My phone rings, and my entire demeanor changes when I see my father’s name on the screen.
This is what I’ve been waiting for, right? This was my big game, to try to weasel myself between him and what he wants because of what I have.
And now he’s calling me, for the first time in a very long time.
“I’m back!”
I hit decline and set my phone face down on my desk, grinning at the sound of Remmy walking through my house.
This is what I need to focus on. Right here. Right now.
