Page 31 of Give My Everything
“Wow. Paige. What a small world. What are you doing in this neck of the woods?”
We cross the shop toward each other, embracing in what we both know is an entirely disingenuous way.
“What do you mean what amIdoing here? I’m here all the time. This is my store,” she says on a laugh. “What areyoudoing here?”
I shrug a shoulder, trying to shove down the irritation I can feel bubbling up at Paige’s response.
She’s been this way as long as I can remember.
Everything belongs to her.Myfriends.Myschool.Mystore. She sees herself as a gatekeeper.
And for some reason, I’ve never had the password.
“Just grabbing a few supplies for something I’m working on,” I finally reply, not wanting to share any further.
Paige’s mouth stays open but her eyebrows furrow. “Huh,” she says. “I guess I just wouldn’t picture you ever coming here.”
I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. “Oh? How come?”
She runs a hand through her short hair.
“Well, I guess I just picture you shopping more on State Street, you know?”
I can’t tell if she’s trying to be rude or nice, which is weird. Normally Paige is an open book, often to her significant detriment.
“You mean the shopping district by my school?” I ask, though I didn’t really need to clarify anything. “Why’s that?”
“Because it seemed like you were so desperate to never leave that area. I’m just surprised you managed to find the time to come down here when you could never find time to come to Hermosa and spend time with Lucas.”
Thereare the claws I was waiting for.
I’m not surprised it only took a few sentences for her to lash out. Paige doesn’t like playing the society game. She wants to be who she is and say what she wants.
And the truth is that after my weird conversation with Ben this weekend and how my mom has been acting and the emotions that always seem to pulse through me at just the wrong moment, I welcome her anger.
I’ve beenspoilingfor a fight.
So if Paige wants to get down like that, maybe it’s time for the gloves to come off.
“Well come on, Paige. Now that Lucas and I have broken up, why don’t you tell me how youreallyfeel?” I say, surprising even myself a little bit. “Lay it all out there, because I know you’ve been pretending to try to bottle everything up since the minute Lucas and I got together. Half-ass sucking it up for seven years has to be exhausting.”
Her eyes narrow, and it literally feels like she’s taking a moment to mentally roll up her sleeves.
“Okay, you wanna know what my problem is? What my problem hasalwaysbeen?”
I nod, though she likely didn’t need the encouragement.
“My problem, Remmy, is that from day one, you’ve had your sights set on Lucas. In and of itself, that isn’t an issue. But whatisan issue is when your sights lock so tightly on someone, when your grip is so strong on another human being, you don’t realize when you’re drowning them.”
My stomach clenches at how she’s worded that, so closely matching the sentiment I expressed to Lucas as we sat in the car together several weeks ago and ended things between us.
“You latched on to him and would not let go. Not when you cheated on him in high school and he started to move on with Lennon, the girl he’d had a crush on for years. Not when you moved away to college and cheated on himagain,instead keeping him locked into some bullshit open relationship youknewhe would never take advantage of. Not even when you slept your way around and came back to find him happy with someone else.”
I grit my jaw, willing myself to stay quiet. To take it.
Because I deserve it.
“You have continued, over and over, to fight the inevitable. And in the grand scheme of things, two of my best friends lost years they could have had with each other. Thank fuck they’re finally figuring shit out together, because if they hadn’t, I would have considered you personally responsible. My only hope is that you don’t sink those same fucking fangs into someone else I know and care about, and maybe you’ll realize moving on is what’s best for everyone.”
