Page 102 of Give My Everything
And who is standing just a few feet away at the entry to the hospital.
“Ben,” I say, giving him a shy smile and wiping away the handful of tears that have fallen, streaking my cheeks.
His brow is furrowed as he looks between me and Lucas.
“They’re allowing family to go back to see Ivy,” he says, his voice tense and his eyes tired.
I nod. “Do you want me to go get you anything? Or anything for Ivy?”
Instead of answering, he sticks out his hand. “I said they’re allowing family in. I came to get you.”
The pitter-patter in my chest that only Ben seems to elicit doubles in strength, and I have to work to hide my smile as I reach out and slip my hand into his.
I haven’t seen Ivy since I’ve been back in Hermosa Beach.
Wait, no, that’s not true.
I saw her at Lucas’ 4th of July party, though I was focused on Lucas and she spent her time with Ben and Wyatt.
But other than that, I haven’t seen her. Haven’t interacted with her. Haven’t tried to talk to her or learn about what’s going on in her teenaged life.
And now, looking at her in the hospital bed, I really wish I had done all those things.
When we were younger, back in high school when Ivy was a toddler, I loved visiting the Calloway house. The majority of my time was spent with Lucas, and he and Wyatt were best friends, so I definitely spent some time there. Ilovedseeing Ivy wander around, her little feet slapping the floor, her giggle echoing through the house.
But I didn’t reallyknowher. I never took the time to learn to talk to her, or to learn sign language.
Now, I sit in the corner as her family fills the room, and I’ve never wished more that I could understand what she’s saying as her hands move sluggishly to talk to her mother.
Ben and Wyatt stand just behind her, watching, and then all together, all three of them laugh at something Ivy signs to them.
“It’s not that hard to learn, you know.”
I turn to Hannah, who is sitting on the couch next to me.
“I started learning because I wanted to be able to talk to my friend Melanie’s daughter. It’s not that hard, and I’m sure Ivy will love having a sister she can talk to.”
Nodding, I turn to look back at them.
“I just wish I’d tried learning sooner.”
“Don’t we all,” she says, a dash of wistfulness in her tone. “But if you spend your time learning instead of wasting time wishing you’d started earlier, you’ll be shocked at what you can accomplish.”
I grin. “You’re one of those eternal optimist types, huh?”
Hannah shrugs. “I didn’t used to be. I guess I just…learned to be more positive once I realized it’s my choice to enjoy my life, whatever comes my way.”
Then she drapes an arm across my shoulders, giving me a friendly smile that looks genuine and kind.
“I’m glad you’re here, Remmy. For Ben. I know it means a lot to him.”
I don’t say anything in response, mostly because I don’t knowwhatto say. We sit together in silence for a few moments before she gets up and walks over to Wyatt, slipping a hand into his, her eyes focused on Ivy.
I allow myself to think about what she just said as I watch the Calloways interact with each other.
I love what she said because it’s so true. I’m the only one who can choose to enjoy my life. I can’t expect anyone to make me happy, or to change my circumstances so that I feel like I’m allowed to enjoy things.
Look at Ivy. She’s lived through a lot.
