Page 16 of Code Love
“I know,” Lillian said and shook her head. “I know all the things. I knew she wanted me to succeed. I knew she was sick and it wasn’t her fault. I knew that it wasn’t my fault that I was all she could recognize, and it was likely a matter of time before that changed, too. The guilt though, it hangs on, always.”
Jade tentatively reached a hand over and touched Lillian’s shoulder. Lillian took a deep breath and calmed her emotions.
“Be proud of who you are, Doctor Holder,” Jade said calmly. “I’m not trying to take that from you, but I want to be more than your colleague. I want to see this side of you, this vulnerability. I want to know all of you. I want to know Lillian, too.”
Lillian let out a soft chuckle and shook her head. “Why, though?” she asked. “You’re not the only one who knows people’s history.” Jade could have sworn Lillian almost smirked, and her heart jumped in her chest. “You get up close and personal, but only to a certain extent. No one has gotten closer to you than arm’s length as long as you’ve been here.”
Jade lifted an eyebrow, and Lillian spluttered for a second. Thunder rumbled overhead, and both their eyes turned toward the ceiling. Jade walked over to the plate glass windows that overlooked the parking lot. Usually there were a lot of bright lights and movement outside the window at night, but with the loss of power it was all dark. The rain made crystalline lines down the glass and occasionally she could see a bit of debris flying around, but otherwise the only light came from the soft solar lawn lamps that dotted the ground.
“You ask for vulnerability, but you keep yourself closed off if it gets too real,” Lillian called from the other side of the room. “Though I’ve heard through the rumor mill that there was supposed to be a wedding a few years ago.”
Jade pressed her lips together. “Yes, there was, and it was a lot.” She took a deep breath. “I was supposed to get married. I thought I had found someone to share my life with, but she didn’t understand the demands of this job. So, she ended it. I should have seen it coming; we had been getting more and more distant, especially when the talk began of my becoming Chief of Medicine. I spent thousands on deposits and preparations, I had invited pretty much the whole damn hospital. That was the most mortified I think I have ever been, having to go back and explain that the wedding was off. My family was in town, everything.” Jade shuddered at the memory.
“Why do I get the feeling it’s not that simple?” Lillian asked. Jade watched the reflection in the glass as Lillian crossed the room and came to stand behind her.
“Oh, it was,” Jade answered. “It was so obvious when I looked back. All she cared about was the status and the money I was potentially going to make, but she couldn't stand how often I had to prioritize this job.”
Lillian narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips. She shook her head to signal that she knew Jade was hiding something.“There’s something you're not saying. Why was it so close to the wedding when she decided to end it?”
“Because the way she decided to end it was for me to catch her with someone else’s legs wrapped around her face at our rehearsal dinner,” Jade said, her jaw clenching. She noticed Lillian’s brows furrow in the reflection. Jade hated thinking about that woman. Jade had given everything to her, had every intention of spending the rest of her life with her, and she was able to toss Jade aside as soon as something piqued her interest.
“Ouch,” Lillian said and put her hand on Jade’s shoulder, closing the distance between them. Jade pulled in a shaky breath.
“Yeah, ouch,” Jade said with a chuckle. “I guess the fact that I didn’t mean nearly as much to her as she did to me really got to me, so I try to keep things… casual.”
“You put on airs, Jade, but there’s nothing casual about you,” Lillian said and stepped slightly closer. Jade could Lillian’s breath warm against her neck. She tilted her head slightly, allowing space. What was she doing? She had decided to keep Lillian at arm’s length. Keep her as a hot fantasy, not act on it. Still, she didn’t move. Heat pooled in her core as Lillian pressed closer, and her lips brushed against the curve of Jade’s shoulder. “Is this what you want?” Lillian breathed against her cheek.
Jade lifted a hand to caress Lillian’s cheek as she leaned into the touch. Her skin felt like it was on fire, and heat flashed through her with each brush of Lillian’s lips. Jade nodded her head as Lillian’s arms snaked around her and pulled her body flush against Lillian’s. Her teeth grazed Jade’s shoulder, and Jade’s legs threatened to give out beneath her.
Without allowing herself a moment to think, Jade spun around and crashed her lips into Lillian’s. She shoved the lapels of Lillian’s coat over her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. Taking Lillian’s face in both of her hands, she slipped her tongueinside Lillian’s mouth. The soft moan that escaped Lillian’s throat threatened to turn her knees to water.
Lillian’s arms wrapped around Jade’s waist and pulled her roughly against her. She yanked Jade’s coat from her shoulders and tossed it aside, then resumed her attack on Jade’s mouth, trailing a hot line of kisses down her neck. She reached beneath the hem of Jade’s scrub top and pulled it over her head. She leaned back for a second to look at Jade then resumed her line of kisses across Jade’s collarbone and down onto her chest.
Jade unhooked her bra and let it slip to the floor, and Lillian took the opportunity to cup each of Jade's breasts in her hands, pinching softly at her peaked nipples. Lightning flashed through Jade at each touch, each caress. Wind whipped at the window, but nothing mattered beyond this moment. Lillian’s hands, her mouth, her fingers tracing every inch of her body.
Jade’s hands slipped to the bottom of Lillian’s dress and pulled it over her head. She tossed it to the side as their bodies crashed against each other. Heat searing each place where their skin connected. Lillian unhooked her bra and it slipped to the floor, tangling in Jade’s feet. Before she realized what she was doing, Jade had dropped to her knees, hooking her fingers in the waistband of Lillian’s panties and pulling them to the floor. She ran her hands up the back of Lillian’s muscled calves and across the back of her thighs. Lillian leaned forward and put her hand on the plate glass as Jade hooked one of her legs over her shoulder.
She kissed the inside of Lillian’s thigh, reveling in the guttural moan that escaped Lillian’s lips as she threw her head back. She licked up Lillian’s center, tasting her heat, her wet, waiting core. Lillian wrapped a hand around the back of Jade’s head, gripping her ponytail and pulling her deeper. Jade licked her clit, swirling her tongue in quick circles as Lillian gaspedin pleasure. Heat coursed through every inch of Jade’s body as Lillian rolled her hips to meet Jade’s mouth.
Jade sucked gently at the sensitive bundle of nerves and slipped a hand up to assist. She slipped two fingers inside Lillian’s wet center and began to curl them towards her. Lillian’s moan sent her pulse rocketing. She began pumping her fingers in time to the circles of her tongue. Moving faster and faster as Lillian gasped and moaned. She added a third finger inside Lillian and felt her clamp down around them. She knew she wanted more. Lillian cried out as waves of orgasm washed through her, and Jade only felt hotter. Her skin was flushed and her lips swollen.
Using Jade’s ponytail as leverage, Lillian picked her up from her knees and spun her around roughly until her body was pressed against the cold glass. She pulled Jade’s panties down around her ankles and pressed her body against her from behind. The cold glass pressed into her skin, her nipples almost painfully hard while Lillian’s hot body pressed against her back as she slid her hands around her stomach. She gently bit into Jade’s shoulder, and Jade gasped in pleasure, rolling her head back against Lillian’s shoulder.
Lillian’s hand snaked around Jade’s waist and slipped between her legs, her thumb making small circles on her clit as she dipped her fingers inside of Jade. She wrapped her other arm loosely around Jade’s neck, cradling her against Lillian’s hot body, and Jade almost saw stars. Heat flowed through her, and all thought left her mind except for the woman pressed against her. Jade cried out as Lillian plunged her fingers deep inside her, then slowly retracted them. Jade wanted the friction against her, she needed to feel Lillian inside of her.
Lightning flashed, and thunder crashed overhead as Lillian plunged her fingers inside Jade again and again, slowly drawing her closer and closer to the edge. She rocked her hips intoLillian, reaching up and behind her to cradle Lillian’s head against her as she thrust her fingers inside of her. Her body felt painfully coiled, she needed the release, but Lillian was not allowing it just yet.
She pressed her ass into Lillian, grinding against her. Lillian pushed her harder against the glass, pulsing her fingers inside her faster and faster. Jade climbed to the edge and her body clamped down around Lillian’s fingers when she finally went over. Orgasm wracked through her, turning her knees to water and her senses to mush. She gasped for air as the waves crashed again and again until Lillian slowly withdrew her hands, turning Jade to face her again.
Lillian’s body was hot where the cold glass had been, and Jade kissed her deeply, probing her tongue lazily in Lillian’s mouth. She finally pulled back and Lillian smiled at her. Jade’s heart could have crashed through her ribcage at the sight. She playfully pushed Lillian down onto the couch and slid herself on top of her, smiling as their bodies entwined. Lillian wrapped her arms around Jade’s shoulders, and Jade relaxed her head onto Lillian’s.
Her eyes grew heavy, she knew they should probably get up and dressed, maybe unlock the door since it was a shared breakroom, but after a moment, she felt Lillian’s breath even out. She listened to her heartbeat and realized that Lillian had dozed off. Jade smiled softly; she could stay like this for a while yet, then get up. She was sure Lillian needed the rest as badly as she did.
Her head spun with emotion. Here was this woman, this amazing, beautiful person, and Jade had finally cracked through some of her shell. The thought made her happy, and she considered what the future could look like between them. She knew it was too soon to really think like that. This was brand new, and she was sure that there would be a lot of issues to workout, but they had both opened themselves up, and Jade could not see how that would be a bad thing.
Jade’s eyes grew heavy, but she couldn’t bring herself to move away from Lillian. The storm was finally beginning to abate, the wind slowed its howling, and the thunder seemed to be moving away. The night was finally coming to an end, and Jade could not think of a better way to end it. She closed her eyes, just for a moment, and fell asleep wrapped in Lillian’s arms.
7
