Page 19 of Code Love
She watched the hallway for a moment as she stood in front of her office, trying and failing to convince herself that she didn’t hope to see Jade walking her direction. Shaking her head, she went into her office. Closing the door, she leaned against it and clenched her jaw while turning her eyes toward the ceiling. It seemed that putting Jade out of her mind was going to be more difficult than she thought
8
Jade
Rejection stung the corners of Jade’s eyes, but she pushed it aside. She would not let Lillian know how much her dismissal of everything as a “mistake” had bothered Jade. It’s not like it would be the first time Jade had mistaken someone else’s feelings as mirroring her own. Still, she couldn’t help but think that Lillian would feel differently if she would just let her walls down, just a little.
Jade knew there was nothing she could do to make Lillian acknowledge her feelings and trying to push it would only drive her deeper into her self-made isolation. Regardless of the reasoning, Jade knew that she needed to let Lillian come to her own terms, and that would be with or without Jade. A little professional distance would do her some good. The thought was like a knife in her chest, but she knew it was the only option. Maybe in time Lillian would come around, maybe not, but Jade was not about to chase her. She was better than that. She was beyond those childish games.
Jade sucked in a breath and went into her office. Her reflection stared back at her from the small mirror behind her desk. She smiled slightly; this was something she had picked up from Lillian. Jade was much less invested in her appearance than Lillian was in her own, but the small mirror was extremely helpful. Dark circles rested below Jade’s eyes, though a little concealer would cover them nicely. She really just needed a good night’s sleep, which she would get to soon enough.
She checked her computer, the damage to the hospital was minimal. Her maintenance team had reported a couple of cracked windows from flying debris, and one of the generators needed servicing, but otherwise they had come out of the storm unscathed. She sent messages to the contracting companies, she knew they would be busy over the next couple of weeks, so she wanted to get in their system as quickly as possible.
Next, she scheduled a meeting with the lead hospital staff. They would need to come up with a plan to catch up on everything that the hospital had needed to postpone for the storm. Luckily, it wouldn’t be too much—they had definitely seen much worse situations than this one. She sent out the notifications for the team to meet in her office in an hour.
Her chest twisted, knowing that she would have to face Lillian again, but if Lillian wanted space, she would give it to her, no matter how much it vexed her. She gritted her teeth warring with her own thoughts. She couldn’t bring herself to believe that Lillian hadn’t feltsomethingin the breakroom, and it was frustrating to watch her lie to herself.
Jade closed her eyes for a minute. She was tired. She would be able to think more clearly once she had some rest, and after this meeting, perhaps she would take some time to do that. A good nap for a couple of hours would work wonders for her mood.
She checked her inbox, nothing out of the ordinary there, though one of the supply shipments had been delayed by the storm. That was nothing to fret over as she always kept the hospital well-stocked. She worked through some paperwork, a few signatures and documents for insurance purposes to prepare for the claims once they were processed.
It didn’t feel like an hour had passed, but staff members began to trickle into her office to prepare for the meeting. With each knock on the door her pulse skipped, hoping to find Lillian on the other side of it. Then she had to curb her disappointment when it wasn’t. Jade wondered if she would come at all. She shook her head, of course Lillian would; if there was anything Jade could say about Lillian it was that she took her position in this hospital with the utmost care. She was and would always be Dr. Holder first and foremost, and if Jade was hoping for a relationship with her, that would be her top priority. Jade understood that more than most people. The hospital would always come first, the job demanded it. Otherwise, people would be hurt, even die. It was a lot of pressure, but it was a pressure they both chose.
When Lillian finally arrived, Jade’s eyes widened slightly, realization dawning that she was thinking about Lillian within the concept of a long-term relationship, while Lillian didn’t seem to see her as anything more than a hook-up. She clenched her jaw in frustration before schooling her features into an expression of relaxed detachment.
“Thank you all for coming,” Jade began to the team of fifteen hospital leaders. “I will be brief; we have a lot to do to get everything running smoothly again after this storm.”
A few nods and murmurs of greeting answered her, and she began the quick briefing. “First thing, I want you all to reach out to each member of your individual team and check in on them, find out if there was any damage or if they need any assistance.From there, I want you to rework any scheduling as necessary. Let me know if there is anything you need from me.”
All the doctors and support staff took notes, some in small pocket notebooks, some on their devices. Overall, the meeting lasted all of about fifteen minutes. Once Jade was satisfied that they all knew what they needed to be doing, she broke off the meeting. Her pulse quickened as Lillian hesitated by the door, but whatever she had wanted to say, she thought better of it and left, closing the door behind her.
A sudden weight settled over Jade as she stared at the door, a childish part of her hoping that Lillian would come back through it. Her shoulders sagged and she leaned onto her desk. She was letting Lillian distract her from her job, something she didn’t need, especially right now. A couple hours of sleep would do her some good. She headed into her adjoining on-call room, something that she had found particularly helpful to the hospital, most of the lead staff had one. She took off her lab coat and hung it on the rack and kicked off her shoes. The mattress was thin and uncomfortable, but it would do, as tired as she was. The last images that flashed through her mind before she fell asleep was of Lillian.
Jade woke to a page alert on her phone. Checking the time, she realized that she had managed to sleep for almost two hours and actually felt refreshed. She rolled her shoulders and grabbed her coat heading down to the patient floor. A flurry of excitement surrounded one of the rooms, and Jade realized what she was looking at. The room was Hannah’s. Jade pressed her lips as she entered the room, the nurses surrounding the woman as the machines sounded their alarms.
“What happened?” Jade asked, putting her stethoscope to her ears and listening to Hannah’s chest.
“We aren’t sure, her vitals just started to tank,” the lead nurse on the case answered.
“Get me Doctor Noble,” Jade said and glanced at Hannah’s vitals. “She’s about to code on us.” The nurse nodded quickly and rushed out of the room to page the cardio-thoracic surgeon. Jade worried that there was a blockage causing the first incident, but they were still running tests and scans to try and find it. From the look of things, the blockage had moved and now Hannah’s life was on the line, they may only have a few minutes to save this woman’s life. “Get the crash cart in here!” Jade shouted through the door. “Come on, Hannah,” Jade murmured to the unconscious woman. “You can’t let Stephanie wake up without you.”
A couple of nurses pushed through the door with the cart in tow, followed by Lillian. Jade’s heart almost stopped at the sight of her, but now wasn’t the time.
“Where’s Doctor Noble?” Jade asked quickly, preparing an injection of epinephrine.
“She’s in surgery,” Lillian answered just as quickly as she opened Hannah’s hospital gown. The machines started screaming as Hannah’s heart tried to stop again.
“Start compressions,” Jade barked, and Lillian instantly complied. “I don’t want to shock her again if I don’t have to.”
Lillian climbed on top of the bed and straddled Hannah’s inert body, her fingers were laced together as she pressed on Hannah’s heart, forcing it to pump blood through her system.
“We need to open her up,” Jade said as she pushed the epi. “How long until Doctor Noble will be available?”
“I don’t know,” Lillian answered, slightly breathless from the exertion of the chest compressions. She turned to one of the nurses. “Go to OR six, find out if Doctor Noble can come assistus. We are going to go ahead and move her to OR three.” The nurse nodded and rushed out of the room. “Take over for me,” Lillian said to Jade. “I’ll get prepped and we can at least get started while we wait for Doctor Noble. I’ll have bypass set up in the OR.”
“Good, ready?” Jade climbed onto the bed behind Lillian, the proximity of her body sending electricity through her.
“Go,” Lillian said and jumped out of the way so that Jade could start the compressions. Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds, and something sparked between them. Lillian turned and left the room, but something was there. Jade knew she hadn’t imagined it. They made an excellent team, and Jade counted herself lucky, even if there was never anything more than that.
