Page 17 of Code Love
Lillian
Warm and relaxed, Lillian’s eyes drifted open, the warm weight on top of her felt comfortable, natural even. Her eyes slowly started to focus on the ceiling, the tiles lighted by the gray dawn coming through the plate glass windows. She blinked a few times as everything came into focus. She looked down to see Jade’s dark hair falling over her shoulder. Her stomach clenched.What have I done?she asked herself. Her heart started thudding in her chest. She started moving, trying to maneuver from beneath Jade without waking her.
“Good morning,” Jade half-whispered lazily while yawning. So much for not waking her. “How long have we been asleep?”
Lillian opened her mouth to answer, but she wasn’t actually sure. Jade relieved her of the obligation of answering by checking her phone. She sat up on the couch, still completely naked, and didn’t seem to have a care in the world. Lillian quickly moved around the room and gathered her clothes, sliding into each piece as she came across them.
“It’s only been a little more than an hour,” Jade said and stretched languidly, falling against the couch.
Lillian pressed her lips together. She wasn’t sure what to say, or if there was anything to be said. This had been one big mistake, brought on by the exhaustion of the night. She glanced out the window again. The sky was still gray, but the air seemed still, especially compared to last night. It was just lust, nothing more, storm-driven lust. She opened her mouth to say as much, but the words stuck in her throat. The image of Jade on her knees with Lillian’s leg kicked up over her shoulder flashed through her mind, and it felt as though she had been struck by lightning.
“Lillian?” Jade asked from the couch. Lillian wondered if she was even going to bother with getting dressed.
“Doctor Holder,” Lillian corrected almost automatically. She glanced at Jade through her eyebrows as she slipped her shoes on.
“Excuse me,” Jade said, her eyes tightening slightly. “Doctor Holder, I guess we need to get back to work.”
Lillian nodded, her chest constricting. All she could think about was getting out of that room. She walked toward the door and hesitated but couldn’t make herself look back. She was sure Jade would have an expression of insult, and she probably had a right to it, but Lillian just wanted to get out of there. Get away from Jade, and that room, and those incredible memories. She fought against a chuckle when she realized that the door had been locked. Jade had probably planned all of this. Lillian felt embarrassed, almost disgusted with herself for allowing this to happen.You didn’t allow anything, you initiated it,she told herself as she pushed through the door.
Thankfully no one was in the hallway. It was still early in the morning as far as patient treatment went, and the lights were still dim. She went quickly to her office to grab a changeof clothes. She would shower in the locker room and get ready for morning rounds. She would forget about all of this. It never happened. It was nothing. She was almost certain Jade would feel the same way. Almost. The way Jade had touched her last night, though. A shiver ran through Lillian at the thought. Jade had wanted her, that much was clear, but it felt like so much more. Jade had touched her like she wanted to draw out every ounce of pleasure from Lillian’s body. It felt like more than just lust or chasing an orgasm. It feltreal.
Lillian scoffed and shook her head. She was being ridiculous. They were both adult, consenting women who succumbed to an intense and exhausting night. The tension between them had boiled over into something else. That was it. There was nothing else to think about.
She left her lab coat on the coat rack and took her change of clothes down to the locker room. She tried, and failed, to convince herself that she wasn’t looking for Jade around each corner, and shedefinitelywas not disappointed when she didn’t see her. It was absolutely not a disappointment she felt as she took off her clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt amazing, washing some of the tension out of her. By the time she had scrubbed and left the shower, she almost felt as though she could face the rest of the morning.
She noticed another shower was turned on as she left, but she forced herself to ignore it. She tamped down the images that flooded her mind of Jade with water and lather covering her body, running in rivulets down her shoulders and stomach. Dripping down her thighs.
Stop it!Lillian chastised herself. She had a job to do. Lillian checked her phone, she needed to be ready for rounds in less than ten minutes. The hallways were still mostly empty as she made her way back to her office, her short hair only starting to dry. She quickly went inside and added some product, finger-styling it to look halfway decent and putting on a few touches of makeup before checking herself in the mirror. She lifted her chin towards her reflection. She was Dr. Holder, an accomplished surgeon and Chief of Surgery. She had a job to do, expectations to meet. Jade wouldnotdistract her from this. She pulled in a deep breath and headed to the floor.
When she arrived, the interns were all there waiting for her. She pushed all thoughts of anything other than this moment out of her mind. She walked up to them, all younger than she was, their eyes eager and notebooks poised in their hands.
The first room they went into was Stephanie’s. Lillian’s heart twisted as she looked at the woman, but she didn’t let it show on her face. Despite the fact that Stephanie was in a medically induced coma, she lowered her voice when she spoke.
“Who can tell me what procedures were done on this patient,” Lillian asked keeping her voice and her face neutral.
Several of the students spoke at once, and Lillian raised her hand to quiet them. She gave them a stern look, and three raised their hands. Lillian nodded to a blond woman with thick glasses.
“She had a craniectomy and the extraction of a, um… pole,” the woman said, and her brows furrowed.
“Close,” Lillian answered with a slight chuckle. “It was rebar.” The woman wrote that down in her notes and Lillian had to struggle not to shake her head. She remembered being an over-eager and highly ambitious surgical intern. It felt like it was only a few years ago, but in reality, it had been over a decade since then. “What are we looking for?” she asked, ignoring the fact that these doctors would have been in middle school when Lillian was an intern.
“We are watching to make sure that the pressure on the brain stays balanced and giving her time to recover before attempting surgery to close the craniectomy,” the intern answered. Her smile was earned.
“Very good, and what are her stats?” Lillian asked. Each of the young doctors looked down at their pads.
“Um, she’s good,” one of them answered, less confidently than Lillian would have liked.
“She’s good? Is that a medical term?” Lillian challenged.
“Yes, um, no… I mean, she’s stable, and she’s been holding stable for a few hours now,” the intern said, her cheeks turning red.
“Good, moving on,” Lillian said and led the group from the room and into the next one. They repeated this through the ward, Lillian asking questions and having the interns answer, giving the occasional correction or advice. This practice had become so routine that she struggled to keep her focus.
Once they were done with that floor, they headed down to the floor below, to assess the patients who were waiting for surgery. Again, she went into each room and had the interns explain the expected procedure and possible side effects or whether there were other treatment options available.
During rounds, Lillian had been able to gauge the impact of the storm on the city. There was a lot of wind damage, some broken glass, and a couple of downed power lines, but nothing catastrophic. It would take a few days, possibly a week, to clean up the debris, but the worst was already past. The power was out for many sections of the city, including the hospital, but the estimations for when the power would return was well within the generators’ capacity. They would be running a little slim for a while, likely only operating in emergency situations, for the next couple of days, but they would recover quickly.
Once rounds were over, Lillian decided she needed to check in with the other doctors and update their surgery board. There were a few minor surgeries left from the surge last night, mostly reset bones and lacerations, the ones that could be pushed as far as possible. Lillian took the time to update the board and checkin with the other surgeons. They were as tired as she, but the relief from the storm ending was palpable.
