Page 50 of Begrudgingly Yours
I pull my hand away as my breathing starts to pick up. My body stands up before I can process what I’m doing, and Imurmur a quick apology to the others before I squeeze past Jett and bolt up the stairs and go down the first path I see.
I don’t know where I’m going, all I know is that I need to get thefuckout of here. Jett’s voice calls out behind me, and I look in every direction for a chance to evade him but end up in a dead-end hallway.
Of-fucking-course.
“Rory, please.” I hear the desperation in his voice, but all I can do is stare at the blank wall of the dead-end in front of me.
“The universe is out to get me.” I’m breathing heavily, and I’m not sure if it’s from my attempted escape or from the charade our inner beasts just tried to pull from us in the middle of a crowded arena just now.
“Please look at me,” Jett says, and even though there isn’t a single note of a bark, I find myself turning around. When our eyes meet, there’s a lot of unspoken words lying between us but I can see the weight of all of it reflected at me in his green irises.
“I’m sorry,” he starts. “And I’ve wanted to say that for a while now. I wanted to give you space, but it’shard. It’s so fucking hard.”
“I know,” I reply, cutting him off, because it’s true. Itishard. Even though I’m so incredibly pissed off at him, I agree. It’s so hard to be away now that I know how it feels. And it’s even harder because the only other people I’ve ever felt that way with are now his fucking pack mates.
I really don’t want to tell him. I need to figure out where my head is at, and I can’t do that if they know thatIknow, but withholding this from them doesn’tfeellike the right thing to do.
Gosh, I really wish I didn’t know.
“So, you have a pack now,” I say as I try to figure out how to tell him the truth. The statement causes his face to brighten thetiniest bit, obviously cheerful to have this new exciting thing in his life.
“Yeah, it was really unexpected. We’re looking for a place to live before next semester starts.”
The idea of all three of them building a life together, finding ahome, makes me feel a little bit sick in polarizing ways.
“And guess what, one of them is the brother ofNicole,” he tells me with disbelief.
I blanch a little bit at that and force myself not to ask which one. It’s easier than I expect because once I picture their faces, it’s clear as day.
Monaghan.
“Look, Rory.” Jett pulls me back into the present. “I know it’s a lot right now, because you just found out about us being scent matches. I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed so… maybe we should focus on the play for now, on our art. We can discuss what this means for you and me, and potentially the rest of my pack, whenever we have more time to concentrate on it. Because I know they would adore you.”
I just nod, not knowing what to say. This would be a good time to blurt it out.I know your pack mates. I’ve slept with your pack mates. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your pack mates.But the avoidant personality in me is desperately grasping at the opportunity he just handed me: more time to figure things out.
“I never thought I’d have a pack, or that I even wanted one. It’s never even crossed my mind,” he says softly, his eyes meeting mine, “but… I wantyou, too.”
The sentence causes something in my chest to flutter. My omega is smitten with him, but for some reason, I know the reaction to his words actually came fromme.
“We can discuss it more later, definitely. Let’s just… focus on the play,” I respond.
“Cool,” he tries to say nonchalantly, but I can still see the turmoil on his face. “But I’m serious, Rory. When the play is over, I’d like for you to consider the possibility of my pack courting you.”
I almost flinch, barely containing the fear that kind of sentence elicits in me, even if it makes my omega preen. “I can only say maybe for now.”
Jett nods in understanding. “That’s as good as I deserve, to be honest.”
That has me shaking my head. “You deserve a lot, Jett. I just have a lot of emotions to sort through right now. And I’msorry, for kicking you out like that. You definitely didn’t deserve that.”
He gives me a reassuring smile. “I understand it. This shit is scary. It feels impossible to navigate.”
I nod in agreement. Isn’t that the damn truth.
“I’ll see you at rehearsal?” he asks. When I nod, he starts to walk away.
“Hey, Jett,” I call out to him and when he turns, the question I want to ask gets stuck in my throat. I take another breath and ask, “Does your pack know about me?”
He nods, but there’s something sad about it. “They know I have a scent match, yeah.”
