Page 51 of Begrudgingly Yours
Then he leaves, causing my omega to whine at his absence. I feel like I’m going crazy, this white-out hallway feeling more and more like a padded room as I watch him walk away. My omega beckons me to move forward, call him back, but my head refuses to listen. There’s a war of emotions going through me because I can’t seem to reason with the part of me that wants to be seen.
Dating an alpha, beingcourtedby one, feels like giving up on my principles. But the idea ofnotbeing pursued by them hurts more than giving in, and I have no idea how to handle it.
TWENTY-FIVE
Playing: Mine by Sleep Token
We fall into a routine.Rehearsal seems to go better since Jett and I had our talk. We fall into the roles of two professionals, not letting our hidden entanglement mess with the play. It’s even better that we’ve been focusing on separate scenes. There’s more to the play than just Romeo and Juliet, and it’s so cool to watch everybody embody their characters more and more as the weeks go by.
I’ve been spending a lot of time with Stacia and Opal. Neither of them push me to talk about the…situationwith my scent match and his pack mates. They’ve accepted that it’s going to take me some time to come around on that. Whenever Opal isn’t napping—which is a lot honestly—we’re all together, having sleepovers and eating our feelings with whatever takeout we’re obsessed with at the time. All for different reasons, of course.
Stacia has been stressed out over her manuscript. It’s a full-fleshed out spicy romantasy and she’s recently discovered several plot holes that have left her in a bind. The reason we are hanging out so much is because Atlas asked me to help get her away from her desk, even if it’s just small spurts at a time. Little vacation hangouts. Of course, Stacia and I have already talked about it and she has admitted to being a little bit intense over her story, but she’s happy to know her mates are looking out for her, even if that means forcing her away from her computer.
On the other hand, Opal is completely checked out right now. She’s been studying to be an elementary school teacher since she started at Bensen. She says she doesn’t want to do anything else with her life. Still, she’s nervous about her Student Teaching assignment that starts next semester and said that trying to find the right placement has been a struggle. I can see that preparing for next semester while still having a load of classwork this semester has taken a toll on her.
Not to mention her anxiety over her scent match. I haven’t felt comfortable enough to push her to figure it out, not anymore. The situation isn’t so black and white, not the way you’d think it would be if you were on the right side. She has enough on her plate, and I’m sure Sam does too with his Philanthropy and getting to know his other scent match.
Both of them—gosh I love them, having girl friends is the best—are waiting for me back at home right now. I heard there’s going to be wine and chocolate and a teary rewatch of The Notebook (which I’m not ashamed of loving in the slightest) when I join them.
I just have to survive rehearsal first.
“Rory, how many times do I have to tell you? You are inlove. Nothing else matters,” my professor proclaims.
The groan I want to let out gets interrupted by another chirping voice. “I thought that was something all omegasdreamed of. Finding their scent matches so they can just rot in society.”
Nicole’s high-pitched voice pierces my eardrum and causes me to curse.
“There’s no need to curse at me. I am the one that grades you at the end of the semester, you know,” my professor lectures me as everyone stands around, too afraid to speak up. I can see the sympathetic glances from my peers, even the students from the tech class that’s doing the stage work as part of their exam. I know they want to help, but being on both our professor’s and Nicole’s shit list doesn’t seem worth it.
A part of me feels glad that people know I can handle it. But another part of mecan’thandle it. Not when it’s twice a week and in a class that I was originally so excited to take.
“Sorry, Professor Chapman,” I grit out before going back to my spot. I have the blocking down, but apparently Juliet still isn’t ‘demure’ enough for these two.
I don’t really give a flying fuck, but I guess I’m not the director.
“Alright, from the top,” Professor Chapman says as soon as Jett comes back from the bathroom. Even with the way I feel about him and our situation, I know he would have stood up for me if he were here moments ago. He can feel the tension the second he saddles up next to me.
“What happened?” he whispers to me. I shake my head but he growls out a warning, “Rory.”
“Just the same ol’ bullshit,” I say in Juliet’s demure voice that Professor Chapman has had me practice. He even wants me to change my voice. Apparently I’m too alto for him.
“It’s still a bit pitchy,” Nicole hisses at me as she walks by, which is rich coming from her.
“At least I’m not bitchy,” I mutter more to myself than anyone but Jett snorts anyway. Nicole’s head whips back to usbut by some miracle decides to keep walking to her spot anyway.
“I’ll talk to him,” Jett says to me but it’s time to start the scene so I don’t have a chance to respond.
I finally feel a bit more relaxed and confident when we move on to Act 4, Scene 1. The classmate who was cast as Friar Laurence—Rocco Lombardi—is extraordinary. I’m not quite sure why he wasn’t given a bigger part, but his monologue gives me chills every time. Working alongside him feels like an honor.
“Rory!” I hear and I snap out of my internal thoughts of praise I had for my classmate. I blink slowly at my professor. We just finished the ending lines, so it’s not like I forgot to say something.
“You are monotone. There needs to be more emotion here, more theatrics.”
My eyebrow flies up. I was being very theatrical. I honestly thought it was a bit too much, but remembered his note from last time. Still, I give him a tight smile. “Yes, sir.”
I hear Nicole snickering from the front row and refuse to look at her.
“Do it again,” my professor demands and we get right into it.
