Page 31 of Patiently Yours
They all give understanding nods, but I feel Uriah’s hand making circles on my back. “Let me know if I need to hurt someone.”
I playfully roll my eyes at him but then see the serious look on his face. “In due time.”
I feel slightly embarrassed, like I over-shared. But then I look over to see that Ciro also put down a finger in the last round. I widen my eyes at him, my expression brightening. “Ciro?”
He gives me a cheeky wink. “It’s not something I normally lead with, but I’m bisexual.” Then there’s a slight discomfort in his eyes, one that I haven’t seen from him yet. It looks so foreign on his face, and it makes me want to do everything in my power so that he never feels what he’s feeling right now ever again. “Are you… okay with that?” he asks.
I blink at him in confusion. “With you being bisexual?” He gives me a meek nod, and I suddenly understand. “Of course I’m okay with it! More than okay, I think that’s incredible.”
The uncertainty fades away and the jolly beta I know is back in seconds. His wide smile brightens up the entire room. “Cool,” he says, trying to shrug very casually. “Your turn now, pick something great.”
“Never have I ever…” I put my finger to my chin and squint like the answer will come to me faster. “Hm… never have I ever… had a three way kiss!”
No one puts down a finger, but it feels like all the air has been sucked from the room. Each pack mate is looking at me, gazing upon my lips like they’d like to volunteer.
“Really, no one here? Have you guys never… courted someone together?” I feel a bit awkward asking, but it’s the best attempt I have in gathering information.
“We’ve never shared someone before, no,” Atlas responds, still watching me with determined eyes. “We were waiting.”
I hold in the panting gasp that wants to escape. I return the warmth in his gaze before taking a small breath. “Waiting for?” I ask, although I’m sure I already know the answer.
“For you, Stacia,” Kendall says, and I notice his eyes are just as warm, just as full of longing as mine. The seriousness on his face is beautiful, and I am basking in it.
I try not to gulp as I look at each of their faces. “Whose turn is it?”
“Mine, sweetheart.” I turn to Kendall, the mischief in his expression apparent. “Never have I ever been with a pack before.”
I feel myself clam up. The declaration takes me back to that night, the night when I finally discovered the person I was with wasn’t who I thought he was; he was mean, and jaded, and trying to force me under his control. And I continued to let him so I didn’t have to deal with the fact that I was wrong and naive. A naive little omega.
I keep my fingers up. “You know I haven’t.”
“Why not?” he asks, and the sentiment sounds so genuine, I answer honestly. The others watch me with curious eyes.
“I thought it was considered selfish for omegas to seek out packs,” I say softly. “I always wanted one, but then… I was told I wanted too much, that it was unrealistic.”
The growls from before return, this time more prominent. I hear anger in them, which makes something shift inside my chest.
At first, I think they might be angry at me, but then I realize their anger isforme.
“Do we even need to ask who told you this?” Atlas asks.
I shake my head timidly.
The prime sighs after taking a deep breath. The others follow suit, like they were unaware that their faces were riddled with rage.
“Stacia,” Atlas states, pulling my eyes to his. “I know you’ve probably been doing the work and realizing that Derek is a prejudiced piece of shit, but I want you to know that you’re not selfish in any way for wanting a pack. When people say you’re selfish—or any other negative word—for wanting one, they are projecting. Not everyone gets a pack. You have to be willing to work on your pride in order to join one, and most people don’t want to do that.” His expression softens considerably, enough that I can see the human underneath the alpha. “You are magnificent, and that type of beauty deserves to be cherished by any number of lovers you choose.”
When I think about pack life, there’s normally a hollowness sitting inside my chest. Because of his words, that space begins to fill as a rebellion takes over the cavity where the hopeless sorrow usually resides. His eyes are watching me, his intent clear and powerful. I feel myself nod despite my worries and fears that still linger and cling.
“Doe,” Ciro hums, and I’ll never tire from hearing it. “He tried to make you feel like less, but you are meant formore. He recognized that, so he tried to cage your light. Do you understand?”
I do. Consciously, I’ve always understood. I can’t tell them yet, but it’s less about Derek’s stupid words and more about thepeople who were meant to love me unconditionally. My parents’ words hurt more than anyone else’s. Derek just made me relive them.
But I don’t divulge that. Not yet. I don’t want them to see how broken I am. I don’t want them to realize it’s deeper than just Derek.
I like how they look at me and I don’t want it to stop.
“I appreciate your words,” I begin, feeling rather stiff now on Uriah’s lap. “It’s just… it’ll take some time, I think. If you could be a bit…patientwith me while I figure it out, I would really appreciate it.”
