Page 19 of The Ending is the Best Part
Xander’s voice breaks the silence.‘You’re late.’
‘I know.’
‘I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.’ He glances at me from the corner of his eye, his tone teasing.
‘That’s rich coming from you.Don’t you remember my first day?’
His eyes fall to his lap and – is that a blush I see stretching across those perfectly sculpted cheekbones?
‘What’s your point, Xander?You upset because I didn’t fall in line with your little schedule?’ My lips twist into a sarcastic smile.
‘Always the rebel, Yazza,’ he says, the corner of his lips quirking up.
I feel an unexpected shiver run through me at the comment.Gah!I normally hate him calling me by my family nickname, but recently it’s felt different somehow.Makes me feel at home.I’m probably just getting used to it.Isn’t it called immersion therapy?That’s how they cure allergies and phobias, I think.I quickly push the thought aside and turn my attention back onto the road.
He peels away from the house, leaving my safe space behind, and we head toward the edge of the city.The car is filled with the sounds of passing traffic, urgent horns and road rage, until we finally escape onto the wide expanse of the motorway.Quiet.Too much quiet.
I ask Xander if I can put some music on, but he says he hasn’t got any on his phone.Of course he doesn’t.He mentions that there might a Bob Dylan CD – obviously – and I rummage around looking for it but can’t find it anywhere.Xander says he must have misplaced it, but he thinks that the quiet is nice.I hate the silence but here I am.Stuck in a car with my number one enemy with nothing but the sound of tyres on the road to fill the air.
‘Well.’ He taps his fingers on the steering wheel.‘Wanna play a game instead?’
‘A game?’
‘Yeah, you know, a game, which is an activity that one engages in for fun?’
‘I know what a game is,’ I say with a deadpan look.I know I need to bring up the whole ‘taking credit for my ideas’ thing eventually, but not yet.We have a long journey and weekend ahead of us, so we might as well get along until the time is right.‘Which game?’
‘Two truths and a lie.You know it?’
‘I know it.’ Why not?We’re going to be stuck in this car for hours, and I guess it could be fun.‘Fine, let’s play, but I hope you don’t expect me to go easy on you.’
‘You?Go easy on me?Can’t imagine it.I wouldn’t dream of it.Okay… you go first.’
I mull it over for a moment.‘Alright.I’ve travelled to five different continents.I hate spiders.And I once swam with sharks.’
‘Swam with sharks, huh?Well, I know you’re afraid of horror movies, heights and the dark – most things basically,’ he says.‘Swimming with sharks, on the other hand, that seems pretty bold.Not something you would do.So, I’m going to guess that’s the lie.’ Xander studies me for a second before relaxing back in his seat.‘Am I right or am I right?’
‘WRONG. I did actually swim with sharks when they took us to the Bahamas last season.Remember, the mermaids subplot?The lie is the spider one.I actually think they’re really cute.’ I laugh with victory.I knew that would catch him out.
‘You think spiders are cute?’ Xander stares at me in shock with his mouth slightly agape.
‘I know, I know.It’s kinda weird, but I saw this poem about spiders on TikTok once and it changed how I view them from that point onwards,’ I say with a shrug.‘They’re actually really misunderstood.’
As though talking to himself, he says quietly, ‘Ihatespiders…’
‘Youhatespiders?I thought you said that if you can’t handle Tarantino at his goriest then you can’t handle him at his best.Or that fear always lies at the heart of great character?But you’re afraid of an incy, wincy spider?’
‘Hey, I thought you liked your male characters to be sensitive and multifaceted?I’m showing a bit of weakness, here, and you’re laughing at me.’
‘Maybe that just applies to fictional characters.A book boyfriend will never let you down.’
‘You’re something else, you know that?’ Xander chuckles and shakes his head.It does something to me that I can’t explain.I have to remind myself what he did just days ago.
‘Okay,’ I say.‘Your turn.’
He nods thoughtfully, considering his words.‘Okay, let me think.Right, got some.I’ve never been on a boat.I can’t ride a bike.My favourite snack is…’
We play several rounds and with every one we get to know each other more.Xander eases into the drive and is surprisingly easy to talk to now.We slip into a rhythm, finding ourselves telling stories we’ve never shared with anyone.I open up about how lonely I can find the city but how my friendship with Maddie and Amira has helped me through that.And even though they’re always there for me, sometimes I think I needmore. More experiences.Moresomething. I talk about my parents, their impossible expectations, how they hate my career and I sometimes think they’re just waiting for me to fail.Although Elif supports me, it’s easier for her.She’s a doctor and has a husband and a baby on the way and all the things that mean my parents think her life is good and meaningful.They’re all things that make me feel vulnerable, but it’s freeing, like a weight coming off my chest.
