Page 20 of The Ending is the Best Part
I can see the same thing happening with him.He reveals his family life and how, when his parents separated, he basically got shipped off to boarding school and no one checked up on him.How he has a sister – I pretend not to know that from Instagram – who he basically never got to speak to from ages eleven to eighteen, and he still feels the distance of those separated years now.He opens up about how he was bullied by the other boys because he liked books and films, not rugby and cricket.He says that – would you believe – he was a late bloomer and in fact pretty ugly until he was eighteen.Only then did he get handsome.
‘So you think you’re handsome?’ I say.
‘Well,’ he demurs, ‘some have said that it’s true.’
I learn Xander barely speaks to either of his parents and they don’t understand his workaholic nature.My view of him changes and for the first time Xander doesn’t sound like the cocky, arrogant rich guy I’ve known for years.He just sounds… human.Maybe he’s not the devil incarnate, but a person with insecurities and failures and a history like everyone else.Who’d have thought?I chastise myself.
‘I’m sorry, by the way, about your first day at work,’ he says.
‘Huh?’
‘When I was late.’
‘Oh, sorry, I was just kidding about that earlier.I know you were hungover.It happens to the best of—’
‘You thought I was hungover?’ He laughs.‘No wonder we’ve been at war for three years.I’m really bad at first impressions, aren’t I?’
‘Of all your strengths, I’d put storyboarding and obscure movie knowledge at the top, but first impressions maybe not…’
He chuckles, one hand holding the steering wheel, the other resting on his thigh.He glances at me, then back to the road.‘No, I remember that day actually.My grandma’ – his voice breaks, but he turns it into a cough – ‘she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s your first week, although she’d been ill for a really long time before that.I suppose I was coming to terms with the diagnosis, but it’s not an excuse, I know.’
‘Ah, Xander, I’m sorry.You don’t need to explain yourself to me.’
He nods, his eyes laser-focused on the road.‘It’s also why at that party I’d said that what happened between us was—’ He swallows, the regret clear in his expression.‘Anyway, I remember that was a pretty rough night for me, I’d spent hours looking for her because the carer had forgotten to lock the door and she’d got out with no one knowing where she went.I’ve never been good at apologies, but I realise I never said sorry for what happened.You aren’t a mistake.You never were.’
His words fill me with understanding.Yes, what he said that night was hurtful, but it was his own pain that caused him to lash out at those around him.My heart aches for what he was going through.From what little he’s said of his family on the drive so far, it sounds like he was pretty isolated, with no one to comfort him.
At my silence, Xander carries on, ‘She only passed away a few weeks ago, actually.’
‘Oh.’ I glance down at my lap.‘I’m sorry.Were you close?’
‘Yeah.’ He presses his lips together, staring ahead.‘Very.But in some ways, it’s brought my family closer.Not my parents, but parts of my family.Which has been nice…’
He looks thoughtful.There’s a delicate trust in the car now and I don’t want to interrupt it, so I stay quiet.
Suddenly, he laughs again.‘In fairness, I probably was hungover that morning too.Drowning my sorrows and all that.’
I laugh and let him know that, given the circumstances, he’s forgiven.
Before we know it, the hills of Snowdonia are stretching out before us.I gasp at the sight.Lush, green mountains that clamber higher and higher so that their peaks are hidden in the clouds.The game has brought us closer than either of us had expected.It hits me that the rest of the trip might be different, better even, the realisation dousing me like cold water.We might see each other in a different light.Not work rivals or whatever we were at those disastrous parties, just people.A boy and a girl.Maybe, just maybe, this trip won’t be as terrible as I had thought.
Chapter Eleven
Three Weeks Left
The sound of my hand banging on the check-in desk echoes throughout the lobby.The receptionist glances at me with disdain evident all over his face.
‘What do you mean there’s only one room left?’ I demand, trying to stay level-headed.‘Our boss booked this trip, or the production company did.We’re from the showClaim to Power, do you know it?’
‘I love that show!’ The receptionist lights up.‘Do you know they film bits of it around here?’
I grit my teeth.‘Yes, I know that.Like I said, we’re from the show, we’re writers on it.Is there really nothing you can do?’
‘I’m sorry, miss.We’re all booked up.’
I take a look at Xander and of course his expression doesn’t give anything away.I wonder what thoughts are running through his mind right now.Is he dreading it as much as I am?Although if I look close enough, is that a twinkle of excitement in his eyes?Could he possibly be pleased at this situation?Great, he must be revelling in how awkward I feel right now.
‘Fine,’ I say and quickly turn to Xander.‘We don’t have to stay here, right?I mean, we’re in Snowdonia.It’s huge.A massive tourist spot.There’s got to be a million other places nearby… right?’ Although now I think about it, I feel like we only passed campsites and the very occasional bed and breakfast on the way up here.But I’ll stay in a tent if I have to.I am refusing to even consider the possibility of staying in the same room as Xander.
