Page 54 of Leading Conviction
“I… I feel… I feel like I’m losing everything,” she sniffled against him, soaking his shirt with her sorrow.
“You’re not, Hannah. You…” The betrayal was on the tip of his tongue when he leapt over the edge. “You still have me, at least for tonight. Maybe more if I can swing it.”
“But…” she pushed off of his chest and wiped her cheeks. Her long black lashes clung together in spikes as she peered underneath them. “But, Hawk said you’re both going?”
He shifted underneath her, and decided to feed the jealousy that’d been brewing ever since Hawk came home after their first date, singing her praises like a fucking canary. He swallowed, hoping he wouldn’t regret what he was about to do.
“Hawk is… scared of what could happen. But I’m not scared, Hannah. I have to go, too, but if it’s safe enough, I can still contact you. He’s afraid to even do that.”
“If you can still contact me, why can’t he? Doesn’t he love me?” she moaned.
He held her closer and murmured assurances against her soft hair. His skin tingled everywhere they touched and he focused on that heavenly feeling as he twisted the knife in his friend’s back.
“He loves his country more, Hannah.” The lie tasted bitter on his lips. “He’s more afraid you’ll be a distraction.”
She gasped and tried to pull away but his arms tightened around her and he rubbed her back, trying to calm her. If she saw his face at the moment his expression would give away his true thoughts. There was nothing and no one Hawk loved more than Hannah.
“Face it, Hannah, he gave up a professional baseball career for the Army. He says he’s afraid for your safety, but yesterday could’ve just been psychos with guns for all we know. Hawk is already making decisions based on paranoia.”
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Hopefully they’ll be worth it.
But her muscles—languid with sorrow—tensed at his words. The keening noise that had first pierced his heart began again, and he rocked her.
“It hurts, Thomas… it hurts so bad.” She cried, her breaths heaving nearly to the point of hyperventilation. “I just want it to stop hurting.”
“It’s okay, Hannah. Cry it out. I’m here for you.”
He lay down on top of the quilt and pulled her onto his chest. The poor thing was so distraught she didn’t argue with the intimate position. Not until his body betrayed him.
As his cock hardened beneath her, she lifted her face from his chest to look at him, her questioning brown eyes sparkling with tears. Uncertainty furrowed her brow as she glanced up and down, seemingly just realizing how they lay.
“Eagle, I’m sorry, I should get off.”
“Don’t,” he whispered, making her pause. “I’ve wanted to feel you like this for a long time. But I never wanted to get in the way of you and Hawk.”
“I… I had no idea.”
“I know, and I never told you because he’s always been good to you. But after seeing you like this? I can’t hold back anymore. I love you, Hannah.”
He looked at her lips, so close to his, and pulled her closer, wrapping his hand around her nape. Ever so slowly, waiting for her to stop him, he gently pressed his lips against hers.
She trembled above him, not pushing him away, but not kissing him back either. When he let go of her nape and stopped, he opened his eyes to see her face had crumpled. She shook her head slowly, and he almost let it all go. He’d told her how he felt, and she didn’t feel the same way. There was nothing he could do about it.
“It hurts Thomas.Ihurt,” she whispered, almost too low to hear.
“Let me make it go away, then, Hannah. Just for tonight.”
He waited for an eternity until she gave him the slightest of nods. Without giving her a chance to go back on her decision, he embraced her and rolled them over so he was on top of her.
“What about Hawk?” she asked, her voice watery.
“It’s okay, Hannah. He can’t be mad at us after leaving you like this. I couldn’t hear you crying and just abandon you like he did. Let me make the pain go away. At least for tonight.”
His betrayal tasted like ash on his tongue and he desperately needed her sweetness to cover up his shame.
This time when his lips met hers, he finally broke through the last of her reluctance. She tasted like sugar, tea, and oranges, just like Hawk had always boasted, but mixed with the salt of her tears.
