Page 53 of Leading Conviction
“So quit,” she mumbled without any forcefulness behind it.
The lack of fight in her insistence crashed against Eagle’s heart. They all knew Hawk couldn’t quit. Desertion wasn’t an option.
“I can’t, dove.” Hawk’s whisper felt like the slamming of a door.
The defeat in his friend’s voice almost made Eagle ashamed of listening. He’d never heard Hawk so vulnerable. And it was his fault.
Eagle had known when General Smithers asked him to recruit for the team that giving up Hannah could be a possibility. But he hadn’t shared that information with Hawk, afraid his friend wouldn’t join if he knew the full stakes. If Eagle was honest with himself, though, he would have to admit he’d also selfishly been hoping for this exact outcome.
And then I’ll swoop in like a knight in shining armor.
He winced and shook his head. His hopes sounded much more evil now that he was having to hear the painful reality. There was no way he could follow through with betraying his best friend like that.
Besides, it was too dangerous for her to be affiliated with either of them.Hawkwas the knight in shining armor, doing the right thing to save her life. Eagle was just the bastard with an unrequited crush.
“No, don’t hug me. I can’t, Hawkins. If you’re going to leave, I’d rather you do it now. If this is really goodbye then this—right now—is goodbye. I won’t be able to say it again.”
Silence filled the space louder than any bomb that could’ve dropped.
Finally Hawk’s deep voice rumbled, “I love you, Hannah. I’ll never stop.”
If she said anything, it was too soft to hear. Before long, footsteps thudded out of Hawk’s old room. After the front door finally opened and shut, Eagle’s phone vibrated. He jerked it out of his jeans, hoping Hannah couldn’t hear and pressed the home button to read the text message.
Hawk: I told her. Fuck this sucks. I’ll be staying on base with you guys now. You were right. It’s better if we leave her alone.
Eagle’s fingers flew over the keyboard on the screen, quickly coming up with an excuse as to why he wasn’t there with the rest of the guys.
Be there soon, man. Just running errands.
Hawk: I’ll fill you in tomorrow. I’m hitting the hay as soon as I get in. Shit sucks.
I’m sorry, brother. But it's better this way. We’ll make a pact. Leave her alone, keep her safe.
He waited for what felt like forever before Hawk finally texted him back.
Hawk: Anything to keep her safe… Agreed.
Eagle’s chest lightened and he shoved the phone in his bag, readying to leave, just as a high-pitched keening made him still.
After waiting another moment, the sound happened again. He yanked his bedroom door open and rounded the hallway to get to Hawk’s old room. Before he could stop himself, he’d opened the door wide without even bothering to knock.
Hawk’s room looked exactly the same, with Hannah’s knickknacks, Braves memorabilia, and paintings still everywhere Eagle looked. Even Hawk’s favorite landscape of an Appalachian sunrise still hung over his bed.
It had to hurt Hawk to leave it, but he bragged about Hannah’s talent with pictures on his phone all the time, so he at least still had them digitally. With their lifestyle, Hawk could barely carry around more than a duffel bag. What was left in the room was essentially Hannah’s.
Eagle almost couldn’t tell that Hawk had moved out and made this huge, life-altering decision.
Except for the woman he’d left behind, still sobbing on his bed.
Hannah’s black wavy hair spilled around her face. Her eyes were squeezed shut and tears streamed down her olive cheeks. The sapphire on her ring glinted in the low light of the bedside lamp as she rocked in an attempt to soothe herself. It broke his fucking heart.
“Shit.” Eagle’s chest caved and so did any resistance he might have had. He crawled across the bed and pulled her onto his lap. “I’m sorry, Hannah.”
I’m sorry I’m a selfish bastard. I’m sorry I helped take him away from you. I’m sorry we’re leaving you behind. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “Y-y-you did-didn’t d-d-do anything.”
“I’ve done enough,” he grumbled too softly for her to hear.
