Page 4 of The Suite Life
‘How hard can it be?’ Tom says. ‘I’d go with you, just for the free holiday.’
‘Hmm, except, not only are you married, but Nathan knows you and that you are my boss,’ I remind him. ‘I don’t think Nathan or your wife would be impressed with that one.’
‘Fair point,’ he chuckles. ‘Well, why not try Matcher? You could advertise yourself as a free holiday to a luxury resort in Hawaii. Trust me, you’d have more blokes than you could get through in a night.’
I snort as I shake my head vehemently. I really can’t see a dating app like Matcher being the answer to my prayers.
‘No way, Tom,’ I insist. ‘Matcher is already a nightmare without adding crazies looking for free holidays to the mix.’
‘Ignore his ideas,’ Zoe says with a roll of her eyes. ‘Just keep putting yourself out there, Gigi, and stop looking so hard. True love will find you.’
‘Except she doesn’t need true love; she needs a truly impressive date,’ Tom replies. ‘Sunshine Greene is hot, and every guy wants her, every girl wants to be her. She needs something serious to compete with that.’
‘Okay, okay, I get it,’ I reply with a laugh.
I mean, it’s all true, and it’s not exactly funny, but I can’t deny the sheer absurdity of the situation.
‘I’d better get back to my lady,’ I say with a sigh. ‘We’re going from jet black to ash blonde.’
‘Of course you are,’ Tom says, laughing me out of the room.
Tom is right. What I need is not any old plus-one for this wedding, but a super-special one, someone who is going to make Sunshine Greene look like a nobody. Easier said than done, though, right?
Ah well, if all else fails, I suppose there is always Matcher, even if inviting someone insane to the wedding is the last thing I want to do. It is still on the list, though.
3
Arriving home to the comforting aroma of Mum’s cooking wafting through the air is something I could get used to – well, I suppose I am used to it now, whether I want to be or not. Yep, I’m back living with my mum and dad, the undynamic duo, who are – it turns out – really appreciating having me living back at home with them because my mum says it gives her something to keep her busy and my dad says it makes Mum cook better food. I like to think they enjoy my company too but no one has said that out loud yet.
Living here is not exactly where I thought I’d be at this stage in my life, but hey-ho, life can be like this sometimes, right? And all you can do is head back to the nest and regroup before you head back out into the big bad world again. I had hoped that I would’ve flown the nest again by now, given that I moved in here in November, post-break-up, and we’re now in April, but finding somewhere that I can afford on my own in London, that isn’t awful, that isn’t a million miles from where I work, is proving rather difficult. There’s also the fact that, if I’m being totally honest, I do feel comfortable here. I’ve got my feet under the table. With Mum in full-blown nurturing mode, almost all of the‘adulting’ is off my plate. I know, it sounds bad, but I’m finding that, while I’m at work, all of the washing, cooking and cleaning is taken care of, so all that’s left for me to do is turn up, eat dinner and then watch hours of quiz shows with my dad – just like I did when I was a teenager.
This house – a detached on a picturesque new-build estate – isn’t the house I grew up in, my mum and dad bought it a few years ago. In a way that feels better than if I were staying in my childhood bedroom, because that really would feel like a regression.
The house is set across three floors and with my parents preferring to sleep on the second floor, they have assigned me the top floor all to myself. There is a bedroom – the biggest bedroom in the house – complete with its own stunning en suite. Obviously I would rather circumstances were different generally but, looking at things simply, this is easily the nicest bedroom I’ve been able to call my own.
Thinking back to when I was a kid, I don’t know how the four of us coped in our old three-bed house, where scheduling bathroom time was always a military operation. It’s only when you’re trying to share one bathroom between four people on, say, a morning when everyone is getting ready to go out for the day, that you really test every organisational skill you have. Lucy and I were always arguing over the bath, fighting over who got to use it first, and whoever was going second would always be watching the clock like a hawk. That was probably the only thing we used to fall out over though (well, that and maybe occasionally because we would borrow one another’s clothes without asking), we’ve always been like best friends.
I’m almost scared to admit it, but I’m enjoying the break, and after a bad break-up and getting shafted by all of the knock-on bullshit that comes with it, it’s nice to cosplay as a teenager again.
If there is anything positive to take away from this ordeal it is knowing that, in the future – and brace yourselves, because this is low-key depressing – I’m going to make sure I always have a plan of action that stops me ending up out on my arse. Yeah, I know, it’s not ideal to go into a relationship thinking about what you will do if it all goes tits up, but living with Nathan in his apartment meant that when we broke up his life (apart from my presence) stayed otherwise identical, but for me I became homeless, I didn’t have the funds or the foresight to find somewhere else, so here I am.
I should also probably stop calling it a break-up, as though it was at all mutual, because the reality is that I got dumped.
Nathan, in his infinite wisdom, decided that the spark had gone from our relationship, and that we weren’t right for each other. I found it interesting, mainly because I never considered us to have that elusive spark. Nathan wasn’t a sparky kind of guy.
When we first met, sure, I was drawn to his brooding, strong, and silent demeanour, thinking it made him seem mysterious and sexy. However, it turned out, he was just generally moody, enjoying his own space and peace and quiet – which is not all that sexy, but everyone is entitled to their boundaries. That’s why seeing him with a shiny young thing like Sunshine is so surprising. I accepted Nathan for who he was, loving him regardless, for four years. But he seems to think love is something more spectacular and less comfortable. Perhaps it is.
The main reason things are so shit post-break-up is just how much things have changed for me. Nathan may be basking in Sunshine but I’m very much out in the cold. Socially I’m suffering, feeling a big hole in my life, missing the days when we were the fab foursome – me and Nathan, Lucy and Rick. We used to spend so much time together. Now – ha – now Sunshine has replaced me. I can tell that Lucy feels bad about hanging out with her but I’ve always encouraged her, telling her it’s fine,because it’s not her fault, and it’s not Sunshine’s fault. But now I’m a double whammy of both awkward around Nathan and no longer part of a couple – so couply activities are definitely out. You really don’t miss couples’ bowling until someone takes it away from you.
Ted, my parents’ Labrador, greets me by the door. What I would give to be with someone who was essentially Ted in man form – he’s so sweet, so loyal, always so pleased to see me. I drop to my knees and ruffle his ears and he frantically tries to kiss me. Again, if only I could find myself a man like this. I promise him I will take him for a walk after dinner before I follow my nose to the dining room. Dad is in his seat, at the head of the table, while Mum is putting the finishing touches on the table settings.
‘Perfect timing, I’m just about to take the chicken out,’ my mum, Shirley, says as she spots me.
The smell of my mum’s cooking greets me like a much-needed hug. Then, of course, my mum heads over to give me an actual hug.
Despite being in her sixties, she defies the usual image of someone her age. There’s a genuine youthfulness about her that I secretly hope runs in the family – maybe I’ve inherited some of those genes if I’m lucky (although historically, I never am).
‘What’s on the menu tonight?’ I ask, taking my usual spot next to Dad.
