Page 5 of The Suite Life
‘Chicken in white wine sauce,’ Dad replies, playfully rolling his eyes into the back of his head. ‘Home is where the heartburn is.’
Alfie, my dad, is also in his sixties but isn’t exactly passing for younger like my mum is. In fact, he seems to be on a mission to set about proving the opposite. There’s a cute and charming quality in the way he’s eagerly embracing his twilight years a bit sooner than expected. Retired and living his post-work life to the fullest, Dad’s hobbies include fishing, gardening, and notonly listening to the radio in his shed but actively getting into arguments with it. It’s like he’s fully made peace with his inner grumpy old man, though, truth be told, he’s more laid-back than grumpy. I’m pretty sure that he survives on a mixture of oxygen, my mum’s cooking, and telling dad jokes.
My mum smiles proudly as she places the food down on the table. The rich aroma of her famous chicken in white wine sauce fills the room, making my stomach do a happy little dance. Honestly, this is the post-break-up life.
‘How was work, love?’ my mum asks as she serves up the vegetables.
‘Oh, fine,’ I reply. ‘The usual, really. Is it just the three of us tonight?’
Lucy has been dropping by for dinner more and more as the wedding is fast approaching – kick-off is in less than two weeks. We’ve all been talking about it for so long, it’s hard to believe it’s almost here.
‘Yes, just us,’ Mum confirms. ‘How are you feeling about the wedding?’
‘Yeah, can’t wait,’ I reply, putting on my bravest of brave faces. ‘I’m really looking forward to it.’
If only my tone matched the enthusiasm I’m desperately trying to convey. It’s not that I’m not happy for Lucy and Rick, of course I am. I was previously really looking forward to their wedding, when everything was fine and the wedding gift I was taking them didn’t come with a barrel full of awkwardness.
‘Did you manage to book a single, er, a room for yourself, love?’ she asks, quickly changing her choice of words as she goes.
A single room for a single girl, because the room I was originally staying in was booked by Nathan over a year ago, for the two of us, but now obviously he’s sharing with Sunshine.
‘Yeah, all sorted,’ I reply, giving my best reassuring smile.
Mum nods, taking her seat, and you can tell by the look on her face that she’s trying to work out how to say the other thing that she wants to say. I already know what it is, but even having that extra time doesn’t help me come up with a decent answer.
Ted grumbles from under the table.
‘He’s hungry,’ Dad points out.
‘I know, I was going to feed him, but – have you seen the dog bowl?’ she asks him.
Dad smiles to himself smugly for a second.
‘No,’ he blurts in disbelief. ‘I didn’t even realise he could.’
Mum sighs so deeply it blows the dad joke right out of the room.
‘So, are you bringing a plus-one to the wedding?’ she asks, trying to act like she’s not all that bothered if I answer at all.
‘Obviously not,’ my dad answers on my behalf. ‘She’s not going to take someone she’s just met, is she? And we know she isn’t seeing anyone.’
I shoot him a look, feigning offence.
‘Oh yeah, how do you know?’ I half ask, half protest.
‘I know because you live with us,’ he reminds me. ‘You never go out, you never bring anyone home. Unless it’s one of those internet boyfriends…’
I have no idea what he means by the term ‘internet boyfriend’ but I can’t say I’m not into it – it sounds like it might be preferable.
I laugh it off.
‘Guys, look, you don’t need to worry about me,’ I insist. ‘I am actually really looking forward to the wedding – and the trip to Hawaii – and my plus-one situation is all taken care of – in fact, my plus-one is a surprise, so you’ll just have to wait and see.’
‘Ooh, who could it be?’ Mum says excitedly.
‘You’ll just have to wait and see,’ I repeat myself cryptically.
I mean, that’s not untrue, my plus-one is going to be a surprise. For them and for me.
