Page 113 of When the Stars Rise
“Don’t,” I plead. “Don’t say it, Hayley.”
She swallows hard, eyes filled with unshed tears and buries the knife in my heart. “We’re over, Noah,” she whispers. “It’s time to let each other go.”
“No.” I shake my head. “No. I’m not letting you go. We belong together.”
She wipes her eyes and laughs but it’s not a merry sound. “If we were so perfect for each other, you wouldn’t have needed to lie. And if we were so perfect for each other, I wouldn’t have been afraid to ask you to give something up for me. But I knew in my heart that once again you wouldn’t really choose me. Your actions speak so much louder than words, Noah.”
With a shake of her head, she brushes past me, but I grab her arm to stop her. “I shouldn’t have lied.” I wrap my arm around her middle and pull her back against my chest, and for a moment she leans into me, and it gives me hope that we’re not over. “I’m sorry,” I say, burying my face in her hair and inhaling her scent that makes me dizzy and make one last-ditch attempt to win her back. “I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”
She tenses and then she pulls away and turns to face me. “Your promises used to mean something… they used to mean everything.” She gives me a smile that is so sad it breaks my fucking heart. “I used to trust you with my life, Noah. I believedeverything you ever told me because when we were growing up, you were the most honest person I ever knew. But you’re not that person anymore and now… I don’t even know who you are.”
How can she even say that?“You know me. You know me better than anyone.”
“Not anymore.” Hayley looks up at the ceiling, tears streaming down her cheeks, and I want to wipe them away and replace all her tears with laughter and smiles. But I’m no longer the boy who would sooner die than break a promise and she’s not the girl who believes in me with her whole heart and soul.
So all I can do is stand there and watch her walk away wishing like hell that everything could be different.
Her bedroom door closes, and I hear the lock turning as my forehead drops against it. “I can change. I can change, Hayley.” I smack my palms against the door, my voice strangled. “I can’t lose you. Not again. I just can’t. You mean more to me than anything in this whole goddamn world.”
My words are met with silence and the door remains closed. Because I’ve already lost her. “Hayley!” I keep smacking my palms against the door calling her name over and over then pull back and kick the door. Once. Twice. Three times for good measure.
“Time to go.” Chris puts his hand on my shoulder and steers me toward the front door.
My footsteps are as heavy as my heart as I walk away from the girl who owns this beating organ in my chest.
When I step off the bus, the last person I want to see is Dean Fucking Bouchon standing outside smoking a cigarette, so I stalk past him, but he stops me with his words.
“If you’re looking for your motorcycle, it’s not here.”
You must be fucking kidding me. I spin to face him. “Where the fuck is it?”
“Had it hauled to the hotel. Booked you a room at the Hyatt.”
“I don’t want a fucking hotel room,” I say through clenched teeth.
“And I don’t want you riding a motorcycle in the state you’re in.”
This fucking guy. I advance on him. “What did you do with my bags?”
“Arranged to have them shipped to your house. You’re welcome,” he says, tossing his cigarette on the ground and crushing it under the sole of his boot.
I laugh harshly. “Why the fuck would I thank you for anything? You never wanted me here in the first place.” I jerk my chin at him. “What did you say to her to get her to kick me off the tour?”
He gives me a long look. “I didn’t have to say a damn thing. This was Hayley’s decision. Butyoudid this.” Dean stabs a finger at me. “You did exactly what I was afraid you would do andthatis why I didn’t want you on this tour. So you want someone to blame? Take a good long look in the mirror. Addicts are liars, Noah. They’ll say and do whatever it takes to get their next fix and they don’t give a shit who they hurt in the process.”
“Fuck you.” I point to the ground. “And pick up your cigarette.”
But as I walk away, his words echo in my head.
Hayley was the one who decided to kick me off the tour. Feels like a punch to the gut. She was so quick to jump to Aiden’s defense but not mine.
How’s that for loyalty?
CHAPTER FORTY
Hayley
Why doeslove have to hurt so much?
