Page 65 of Sweet Chaos
My mother haunted me now. The slashed wrists. The blood. The red dress she’d bought for fucking Wayne. I’d never be able to erase that vision from my head, but I’d be damned if I’d let my sister carry that same burden.
The less Remy knew, the better.
“What do you mean?” Remy shook her head, trying to come to grips with this. “Mom doesn’t do drugs. I mean, she never used to… OD’d on what?”
“Pills.” The lie came easily. I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for cushioning the truth with a lie.
“When did this happen?”
“A month ago.” I winced at the expression on her face and cursed myself for waiting this long.
“A month ago? But… what? Before Kai was born?”
“A few days before.”
“Dylan,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears as it finally hit home. “Mom is dead?”
I nodded.
“Did she… leave a note?”
A voicemail Remy would never hear. I’d deleted it. I shook my head no. The lies were piling up, but I’d been prepared for these questions.
“Maybe it was an accident,” she mused.
“Yeah.” I fed the lie, grateful she had jumped to that conclusion.
There was so much Remy didn’t know about our mother’s life, and I’d wrestled with how much to tell her. I understood why Remy wanted our mother out of her life, and I’d honored that wish. Right up until the bloody end.
Was it wrong to keep that voicemail from my twin? There was no judge and jury, only my conscience that told me it was the right thing to do. How could it benefit Remy to know that our mother was jealous of her own daughter? It wouldn’t.
“Where was she living?”
“Vegas.” I’d considered lying about that too, but chances were good that she would never call to check up on my story. Why would she doubt me? “I went out there to take care of everything, so you don’t have to worry about any of that.”
“You went by yourself? And you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want to upset you.”
“So you went. All by yourself? Did you tell anyone else?”
“No. I wouldn’t tell anyone before you.”
She was quiet for a few seconds, mulling over the information. Shane still had his arm around Remy, quietly supportive, giving her time to process everything. “But you shouldn’t have had to do that on your own, Dylan. I’m your family. Shane’s your family. You and me, Dylan. We always had each other’s backs. We promised we’d always be there for each other. Remember?”
“I had your back, Remy. I didn’t want you upset. Not when you were about to have a baby any day.” I looked to Shane, a silent plea to back me up here.Family, dude, remember?
“He’s right,” Shane said, taking my cue. “There was nothing you could have done.”
Remy turned her head, her eyes meeting Shane’s. “It didn’t happen yesterday, Shane. It’s beena month.”
“I was trying to save you from having to deal with it. I didn’t want Mom to fuck up something that was supposed to be a happy time for you, Rem.” Why couldn’t she wrap her head around that?
“You’re missing the point. Don’t you get it? God, Dylan, why are you such a bonehead?” Her face crumpled, and she burst into tears.
Shane pulled her into his arms, his hand holding the back of her head, the other one stroking her hair. Sobs racked her body, and she was crying so hard I was starting to worry. I could see by the look of concern on Shane’s face that he was, too. He kept stroking her hair and telling her everything was okay, but he looked as helpless as I felt. It felt like I sat there a lifetime listening to her cry until she finally pulled herself together and the tears subsided.
For want of something better to do, I grabbed a roll of toilet paper from the downstairs bathroom and handed it to her.
