Page 91 of Conquered
He looks away, his face pained, all hard lines and sharp angles.
“Hey,” I whisper, my hand coming to cup his chiselled jaw, turning his gaze back to me. “I'm broken too. I've been to Hell, and I'm not sure I ever left. I don’t need angels, or knights in shining armour. And you don’t need a sheltered innocent princess.”
His churning gaze stays on mine, and I try to let him see the pain that lives in my soul, the shattered pieces slowly turning to ash. Well, they were before I came here...I let the jagged edges show in my eyes so that he can see that I'm just as fragmented as them.
He brings his forehead to mine, heaving a sigh, his warm breath tickling my face.
“Let's get you cleaned up, Princess,” he eventually says, raising his head and walking us into a waterfall shower. Being true to his word, he cleans me up, lavishing me with all of the care and attention as if I am in fact the princess he calls me and he is my very own dark knight.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
LILLY
The next few days pass by in a blur of messing round with the guys in the pool and hot tub, watching movies, and playing card games, which I officially suck at. I also have some epic Disney marathons with Loki’s sisters, which are made funnier by the guys joining us, then getting told off for groaning at the admittedly ridiculous princes.
It is the early hours of Thursday morning, and I wake up in a cold sweat, shaking with a bone deep fear. Red ribbons twirl round my mind as I sit up, and looking round, I notice that the bed is cold and empty.
That explains the nightmare then,I think, rubbing my eyes with trembling hands. Before arriving at Highgate, I couldn't go a night without waking up screaming, visions of drowning in a sea of blood swirling in my mind, and a soul destroying terror taking root in my heart. Apart from one night, when the guys were away and Loki woke me up from my nightmare, I've not slept by myself without Loki or Jax by my side, since arriving. I'dbe a fucking idiot not to make the connection between that and my dreams coming back to haunt me.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I scoop up a huge black t-shirt from the floor, slipping it on over my naked body. I'm engulfed in the warm citrus scent of Jax as it falls all round me, ending at mid-thigh. The guy is seriously big, and wearing his clothes is like a comforting hug, and I can’t help wrapping my arms round myself, even though the heating is obviously on as the air is warm.
I head to the door, planning to go downstairs and find the guys, there's no way I'm getting back to sleep without one of them holding me close. I'd be scared of that, of how dependent it feels, but I promised myself a fresh start. A new me. And I refuse to be scared of these feelings.
I pad down the stairs on bare feet, intending to make my way to the basement, when I see light coming from one of the sitting rooms. I can hearDevil Like Meby Akine playing softly, the lyrics haunting and my heartbeat becomes sluggish with a sense of dread as I creep closer and peer round the doorway. I see Loki, Ash, and Kai sitting there, dressed head to toe in black and all sporting glasses filled with amber liquid.
What the…
They're just sitting there, not speaking, and there's such an air of desolation about them, their gazes vacant, that I can feel my chest begin to tighten and chills run down my spine, making me shiver.
Ash is staring into his glass like it holds all the answers. His beautiful brow is marred with a frown, his lips pursed. He looks so cold, like all of the humanity inside him is gone, and has been replaced with something dead and unfeeling.
My gaze flits over to Loki, who has a look of such self-loathing on his angelic face that I take an involuntary step forward, my hand reaching out, feeling the overwhelming needto erase the pain, and see his beautiful smile. He swirls his liquor round and round in his glass, lost in his own clearly hellish thoughts.
Kai is harder to read, his glasses reflecting the lamplight and hiding his honeyed eyes. His grip on his glass is tight, knuckles white. Like Ash, he looks detached, like he's not really here and his brow is deeply furrowed.
“Did we wake you?” I hear the deep rumble of Jax behind me, and I spin round, my heart pounding.
“I–I had a bad dream,” I stammer out, suddenly nervous at being caught spying. I look him over, taking in his all black attire, which is not unusual for Jax, but something just feels off. “Why were you not...” I begin to ask, but come to an abrupt stop as I suddenly notice his hands. He holds them by his side, but in the low light, I can see that his knuckles are split and bleeding.
He tries to hide them behind his back, but I lurch forward, grabbing one to inspect, wincing at the sight of how raw they look.
“Jax! What on earth happened to your hands?” I gasp. “What's going on, Jax?” I ask, my eyes boring into his blue ones. Sharp butterflies take flight in my stomach when he remains silent, not even flinching at my touch on his bleeding knuckles.
He sighs heavily, looking heavenward, then indicates the sitting room with a nod. “You better come in, I guess,” he grumbles out, and I drop his hand as he moves past me into the room with the others.
I hesitate a beat, knowing that whatever I discover beyond the doorway will change things irrecoverably. I take a deep inhale, heart pounding, and step forward.
The others look up as I walk in, a range of emotions flashing across their faces. Kai looks dismayed, and he sighs, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. Loki's gaze is filled with horror, his eyes wide, like this is hisworst nightmare come true. And Ash. Ash has a look of sad resignation on his face, his jaw sharp and hard, yet his eyes burn with a rage so bright, it makes me stall.
“What's going on?” I ask them, panic clawing at the edges of my vision. I start to sweat, and fear sizzles down my spine in a white hot line. I look directly into Ash's grey eyes, staring down his rage.
“Whatever it is, I can handle it,” I assure him, lifting my chin and reminding him of my promise the other day, even though I'm quivering inside. “Whatever it is, it can't be that bad.”
Still, no one answers me. They all look as though they’re awaiting their fate at the gallows.
“Did you get into a fight?” I ask, looking round, but none of them will meet my gaze, and that fact alone turns my skin clammy and makes my stomach churn.
“You're making me nervous with the silence. What’s going on?” I ask again. I'm shaking with the spine tingling terror that this is bad. Really fucking bad.
