Page 92 of Conquered
“What if I told you we'd hurt someone tonight,” Ash finally says back, voice devoid of all emotion, yet his steel grey eyes are seething and roiling. I hear Loki curse in the background and a glass smash, but I can't tear my eyes away from Ash’s hateful gaze.
My heart stops. I feel my stomach plummet, like I've just come down a rollercoaster, and black dots dance at the edge of my vision. “W–what?” I whisper, voice shaking yet unable to look away from him. “Why?”
He stands up, his body radiating barely controlled violence, trembles racking his frame.
“I told you we were fucked up. I warned you we were bad people, destined for Hell. What the fuck did you think I meant?” he scathingly asks, his eyes are so cold, I feel hurt at his words as tears spring to my own, unbidden.
“It's what we do, Princess,” he spits, panting and more out of control than I've ever seen him before.
His hair is out of place, sticking up like he's been running his hands through it constantly. His eyes are wild, pupils blown so that only a sliver of mercury shows. My desire to see him lose his rigid control comes back to haunt me. This is not what I wanted. Not at all.
“Loki and I interrogate and question the targets. When they don’t tell us what we want to know, which they never fucking do, we hold them down, and Jax beats the ever loving shit out of them. Kai, being the tech genius that he is, destroys their lives, leaving child porn on their laptops, and emptying their bank accounts.”
His chest is rising and falling, he's breathing so hard, taking in ragged gasps, it’s like he’s just run a marathon. He's standing so close to me that I can see his pulse jumping in his throat, his hands clenching and unclenching by his sides.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Ash!” I hear Loki exclaim, but my attention is all on the inked up bastard in front of me, and what he's saying. I can't look away, however much I wish I could.
“Why?” I choke out. “Why do you do it?”
I'm shaking, my body cold, and my mind full of so many emotions that I can't even begin to untangle them. They're like a hurricane inside me, twisting and swirling, ripping me apart. And they’re the colour of red ribbons trying to pull me back into memories that I can’t face right now.
“We have no choice,” Kai whispers. His voice is so low I almost miss what he says. My head turns in his direction, taking him in my wild gaze.
“Not good enough,” I snap, roaring anger sweeping everything else away. “There's always a fucking choice, Kai!” I practically scream, images flashing across my vision of meleaving the kitchen that day, in a fit of pathetic anger, only to come home later and find my life irrevocably changed.
The song has changed toEmpty Crownby Yas, the beat hitting me in the gut as the desperate lyrics wash over me. It's too much with what's happening right now, the words too poignant, that I snap, throwing my arms out. “Can someone turn the fucking music off!”
“Hey, Pretty Girl,” I hear Loki say gently, reaching out to touch me.
I instinctively jerk back, regretting the move instantly as I see the desolate look in his emerald eyes. My heart cracks, yet I don't step closer, I can’t with the past and present blurring right now, and his hand drops to his side, breaking me a little more.
“Just tell me why?” I sob, tears making hot tracks down my cheeks at the thought that these boys are capable of such brutality. Have maybe hurt people like my mum was hurt before death claimed her that day.
My eyes look round frantically, then finally settling back on Ash. His gaze softens a fraction, although it feels like he's preparing for a blow as he almost cringes.
“Princess…” he starts, looking suddenly bone weary, his whole torso caving in as his shoulders round. “It's too dangerous for you to know everything,” he says pleadingly, scrubbing his hands over his face and leaving his usually pristine hair in even further disarray.
“Tell me,” I demand, standing straighter even though every fibre of my body is shaking. “Please, Ash. Just tell me what is going on.”
I feel so numb, like I'm not really here. I'm fucking floored by the fact that they hurt someone. That they've done it more than once. That they’ll probably do it again.
Rivers of red ribbons…
The image sears my retinas, as if I’m in that room once more, and I force it down with a shake of my head before it can take root.
Ash sits down heavily, elbows dropping to his knees and hands dangling between them, like he's just too exhausted to stand up anymore.
“As Kai told you, our families are all in business together. Sometimes, someone oversteps the line and needs to be dealt with.”
“Dealt with?” I ask, wrapping my arms around myself, but finding no comfort. “What do you mean?”
I see Loki jerk towards me, and I can't deny how much I want his strong arms wrapped around me right now, holding me tight. But, I just can't. I need a clear head. I need to understand. So I shake my head, and once again fracture into pieces as he looks heartbroken, rubbing his chest as if he’s in physical pain.
“I thought I made that pretty fucking clear earlier, Princess,” Ash says, his voice full of cold arrogance as he looks up at me, jaw hard. “We interrogate them for intel, we hurt them if they don't give it to us, or we teach them a lesson if they cross us.” He says all this so casually, like he's talking about calculus and not the fact that they injure people.
“And you have to...deal with them? Like the way my mum was dealt with?” I ask, my voice cutting and only hitching slightly at the end. Ash flinches like I’ve struck him, and I hear curses behind me.
“We have to prove ourselves, Baby Girl,” Jax rumbles from his place behind me, and I spin round.
