Page 41 of On The Edge
I can tell she wants to say something, but she keeps her mouth shut. Shrugging instead, she leans her chin in her free hand, watching at me with an inpatient expression. “Well? What was your ‘one goal?’” she snaps.
Chuckling, I say, “We’ve always just wanted to be enough for you.” And that is one hundred percent true. Reis might not admit it, but this drive and need for success is clearly to prove toherthat he is nothing like what she said that day. That he could—and can—be everything she said she wanted. I don’t even know if he realizes that’s why he pushes so hard, but I do. And so do Markus and Adam.
Shit, we’ve talked about it many times when we’ve begged Reis for a break, but he always pushes for more.
“For me?” Her eyebrows shoot up comically before they furrow together in confusion. “Be real, Kai. You guys have barely thought about me and our little rag-tag group since high school.”
“Were you not just here when Helen embarrassed the hell out of me by saying how much we’ve talked and thought about, and remained obsessed with you?” I run my free hand through my hair and hold her hand tighter. “I mean, damn, Melody, have we not been obvious enough?”
The more I talk, the more anxious I become, which is a really weird and unfamiliar fucking feeling. One I’m not familiar with.
I don’t do anxious. I don’t do stress. I live my life decision by decision, and let the pieces fall where they may. And if I’m being honest, the only choice I’ve ever regretted is leaving Melody without giving her a chance to explain what we’d heard.
I let Reis talk me into it, and let my own insecurity about how much I wanted any kind of relationship with Melody drive my decision. I’ve learned from that awful day, and haven’t made a monumental life mistake like that again. Which is also why, when I saw her start to bolt, I ran right after her.
“Kai… Why’d you leave then?” Melody asks quietly. Her big brown eyes, dare I say, bleed with hope.
“Well, I–” I start to say and right then,right fucking then, Helen decides to put our drinks and food down.
“Bacon, egg, and cheese with a side of fresh fruit,” Helen announces to Melody and I can’t help but chuckle. Melody blinks in surprise and her jaw drops because Helen got what she was going to order. Like she always does.
“How did you…” Melody looks at the plate then back at Helen like someone who just experienced magic.
“Don’t ask, she won’t tell you her secret to this particular trick. I’ve tried,” I explain, opening my packet of silverware as Helen sets down my plate in front of me. A meat-heavy, scrambled egg burrito with a side of those tater-tot-like hashbrowns. “I’ve known her for six years and she still won’t tell me how she does it,” I stage-whisper to Mel before looking at Helen with a nod in thanks. “Perfect, as always.”
“Enjoy, my lovelies.” Helen smirks and gives me a knowing wink. You can’t sneak anything by a mother. Or pseudo-grandmother.
“It’s just what I wanted,” Melody murmurs while opening her silverware.
“She has a gift.” I shrug and take a bite of my burrito. Goddamn, no matter how many times I eat it, it’s still so fucking good.
Something I’m sure I’ll say about Melody as well.
I let Melody take and savor a few bites of her food before I throw more information at her. But it’s gotta happen.
“Do you remember that fight you had with … whatever her name was? The day before we left?” I ask her.
“Vaguely.” Her eyes dart to the side, like she knowsexactlywhat I’m talking about and is just trying to play it cool.
“You said some things…” I begin before the memory floats through my mind.
“I don’t want any of them. They’re nothing to me. Nothing. They’re not successful, and we all know they won’t be. Especially not with that band we all know isn’t going anywhere. They coast by on their looks and charm. They’re like my brothers; it’s sick to think of them like that. I’ll tell you the truth: they latched onto me and I’ve been reaping the benefits.No one but your dumbass messes with me. Talk about using them to make my life better.”
“You said some things that Reis and I overheard,” I admit before clearing my throat and taking a sip of my coffee.
“Okay…” She lets the word trail off, like she doesn’t know what else to say.
“You specifically said you didn’t want any of us. That we were nothing to you. Not going to be successful, that our band wasn’t going to make it. That we coasted by on our looks and charm.That we were like your brothers and it was sick to think of us like that.That you were simply reaping the benefits of our protective tendencies.” I deliver her words back to her, kindly, but even just saying them hurts.
“Ah,” Melody says, setting her fork down and swallowing uncomfortably. “I remember that conversation, actually.”
“I’m sure you do,” I snap.
“Your groupie wouldn’t stop picking on me. Telling everyone that I was the band’s personal whore; that I couldn’t pick just one of you to date, so I let you all tag-team me. So I said what I thought would get her to stop cornering me.” She picks up her drink and takes a long sip, probably wishing there was alcohol in it. I know I wish I had a drink right about now.
“What?”
She quirks an eyebrow at me. “You all knew. You all knew that our relationship was causing people to think I was a whore. People used to whisper around me all the fucking time. The only thing holding them back from physically getting to me was you guys. But it didn’t matter, because all I cared about was that I got you four. That you four cared about me.”
