Page 75 of Meet You in the Waves
Speaking of mothers, I happened to have one of my own who I suspected might enjoy the photo I was currently obsessing over. I had no idea what the time was where she was in the world but I suspected it was a more respectable hour than my late night ponderings.
Ishot her a text with our photo.
My phone pinged with her response less than five minutes later and I grinned as I read her reply.
Yes, he really was lovely. Perfectly lovely. Perfectly perfect really. Nope, I didn’t think I’d be letting him go any time soon. At least if I had any say over it.
Dane rocking up out of nowhere had put a little dampener on my last few days with Ajay, the rest of the house suddenly out of bounds for the exploits we’d been enjoying of late. I wonderedwhat Dane would think if he knew Ajay and I had had sex on that very spot he was currently sitting on as he swiped through his phone.
On the other hand, I had been kind of blown away when Dane had found me down on the beach last evening and offered an apology for the way he’d treated me. Like literally shocked.
Who knew it would be our brown eyed boy who finally managed to bridge the impassable gap between me and my younger brother.
It was getting late again and I’d decided to let off a bit of pent up energy in my home gym which I’d been neglecting of late in lieu of other far more enjoyable ways of letting off steam. But I knew Ajay liked the abs so I’d be damned if I let my usual work rate go.
I towelled down the sweat on the back of my neck as I stepped out of the boat shed. A nice sea breeze had moved in off the ocean and I stood in the fresh air for a moment as I listened to the soft crash of waves in the distance. The night sky was already full of stars and it felt nice even as I knew the days I had left with Ajay had almost run out.
I could see him through the windows in the living room, sitting alongside Dane as they laughed about something together. Shit. I was really going to miss him when he went home to Sydney.
I watched him a moment longer, heart full in my throat before I stepped up onto the deck. I felt Ajay’s smile on me as I stepped past, felt those eyes too as they dipped down my sweaty torso. I sent him a wink as I made my way upstairs, storing up that faint flush on his cheeks that I’d remind him about later.
I took a quick shower and pulled on a pair of sleep shorts. I was about to go join the boys downstairs when I glimpsed the flash of red from the upstairs window. I peered out the front ofthe house, seeing Mateo’s Alfa Romeo parked at the curb. An uneasy feeling settled at the bottom of my gut, telling me why.
I let out a deep breath of air and pulled on a t-shirt. Then I carefully padded down the stairs to the front door. I let myself out, not surprised to find Mateo sitting on my front porch steps, head in his hands.
“M?” I asked, taking a small step towards him. He glanced up at me, eyes glassy and red and full of the anguish I already knew he was feeling. I let out another breath before I closed the space and sat alongside him.
This conversation had been a long time coming.
“You okay?”
Mateo shook his head, a solitary tear escaping his eye. “I’ll come out for you, Nick. I’ll tell my parents, I’ll tell them everything. About you, about me. About us. I’ll run away with you if I have to, if they won’t accept me. I’ll do anything, Nick. Just ... please … don’t leave me.”
I sighed again, feeling his anguish deep inside me while I gathered my thoughts together. “You should tell your parents, Mateo,” I agreed. “But you should tell them foryou, not for me. I never expected that from you. They’re your family, M. They need to know this really fundamental part of who you are.”
“They’ll kick me out of the family. They’ll hate me,” Mateo replied, the despair clear on his face.
“And if they do, you know I’ll be here for you,” I assured him, words I had told him a hundred times before. “And so will Rob. And so will my folks. And so will your aunty and uncle. And so will a whole heap of other people who love you.”
“Don’t leave me, Nick,” Mateo pleaded, red rimmed eyes on me. “We used to be so good together. Me and you. It hasn’t been the same since he arrived. Since he took all your attention off me. You don’t look at me anymore. You don’t see me anymore.You just see him. Like your whole face lights up when he walks into the room and you can’t see anyone but him.”
“Yeah,” I conceded because I knew those words were true. I hadn’t seen anyone else since my eyes had set upon Ajay.
“Do you love him?” Mateo asked, his words tinged with accusation.
“Yeah I do, Mateo,” I admitted quietly. “I do love him.”
Mateo said nothing but the few more tears that escaped down his cheeks said enough. I didn’t stop him when he leant his head on my shoulder, his face hidden in my neck, and I wrapped an arm around his back. I knew this conversation had needed to happen but it didn’t make it any easier.
“I always believed that we’d end up together,” he said quietly. “That we’d get over this break up and work things out. I’m wrong, aren’t I?”
“I’m sorry, Mateo,” I replied. “I really, truly am. You know you’ll always be my friend. Always. But that’s all we are going to be. It’s probably all we should have ever been.”
He cried softly onto my shoulder at my words and I didn’t stop him. There were more words that I needed to say too, something that probably should have been said months ago.
“You know, I think we were both so focused on saving our friendship, on making sure nothing changed between us that we didn’t give each other the space we both needed to process and move on,” I said.
Mateo hummed against my neck but said nothing in return.
