Page 1 of Love's Patient Journey
Chapter 1
“Zac- NO! Why would you color on the wall?” Jenna knew that her question would be answered by an adorable, “I no-no Mommy.” But, still, she felt the need to ask her son, silly as it might be.
“Zachary Ryan, you go to your room while mommy cleans up this mess. You think about what you have done, and when you’re ready, you need to come back out and tell mommy that you’re sorry.” Her almost two-year-old son just stared at her, like she’d gone mad. Jenna grabbed the sponge and cleaner that she kept under the sink. This wasn’t the first time her little angel decided to make art on her kitchen wall. Zac toddled off, hopefully to his room and not to get into any more trouble.
Some days Jenna wished she wasn’t doing this all alone. She had her family; her mom and dad were great with Zac. They were always taking him for the night, telling her to go out and meet someone. Yeah, like that was going to happen. Most guys weren’t looking for an exhausted twenty-two-year-old single mom with an ex-husband who was in prison. Her dating days were on hold, for now. Zac was her priority. Well, Zac and putting foodon the table and a roof over his head.
Her sister Karlie also tried to help out as much as she could, but she had her own family to look after. Karlie and Drew often included Zac in things that they did with their daughter, Jemma. Jem was born just after Zac, and they played and fought like siblings. Jenna loved spending time with Karlie’s family. Drew and Karlie worked as a team to take care of their daughter, and Jenna often wondered what it would be like to have a partner in crime to help tackle Zac’s crazy energy.
Jenna was just about finished cleaning up Picasso’s latest masterpiece when she heard the toilet flush, followed by Zac’s, “O-oh.” Sighing, she stowed the sponge and cleaner back under the sink and hesitantly walked to his bathroom.
“No!” she shouted, running in, sloshing water all over the bathroom, into the hall. “Zac, what did you flush down the potty?” He shrugged and started splashing his bare feet in the toilet water on the floor. “I no-no mommy.” Yeah, she got it. She sighed and got out some towels to soak up the water. This was going to require a lot of work and another shower for her and Zac. Thank God bedtime was in just two hours.
∞
Three hours later, Jenna collapsed onto her sofa, exhausted. Her day had consisted of dirty diapers, crayon artwork on her kitchen wall, and she dug five Matchbox cars out of Zac’s potty, along with half a roll of toilet paper. Her mountain of laundry could wait until tomorrow. For now, her glass of wine and television remote were going to get her through the rest of the evening. Most nights were like this for Jenna. She usually stayed in with Zac, trying to keep him on a schedule. Shealready imposed on her parents enough, and hiring a sitter for a chance to escape for a few hours was out of the question, since her budget was already stretched thin. Child support wasn’t happening since Zac’s father, Jake, was in jail for trying to kill her sister and brother-in-law. Hopefully, Jake would be in jail for a long time to come. The judge had given him everything that she could, but being the son of a Senator had its perks. Jake’s father had hired some high-priced attorneys to handle his case—being a Senator had afforded Mr. Ashbrook the luxuries of money and power. Jake was currently serving eight to ten years. She constantly worried that he would get out and want to have a relationship with Zac, but he had never met his son, and she had no plans of changing that. She got letters from him and his lawyers, asking her to bring Zac in to see him during visiting hours. Jake had even stooped to sending her threatening letters, saying that he could get a court order that would require her to bring Zac in to see him. She knew that he was bluffing. He didn’t have any desire to meet his son. He made that clear at his trial. The only reason that he even pursued the issue was because of his parents. Barbara and Scott Ashbrook were also sending Jenna letters, many of them threatening, wanting to see Zac. Jake’s parents were paying for all his legal expenses. In return, they wanted him to establish parental rights so they could request their grandparents’ rights to see Zac. It was a huge mess that Jenna knew wasn’t going to go away any time soon. As far as she was concerned, they could just stay away from her son. She and Zac were doing just fine on their own.
Jenna found a reality show about Housewives and turned it on, mindlessly watching and sipping her wine. Yeah, just what she needed to take her mind off her day. The ladies on the show were going on about their problems. As if having too much money to spend on nannies, big, beautiful houses, pools, and servantswere problems. Still, Jenna would not trade her life with Zac for any of those things.
She fought hard for what they had. Her parents gave her and her ex the down payment to purchase her little house. She got the house in the divorce settlement, and it was the perfect place to raise Zac. His preschool was around the corner, and she was only minutes from work. She was lucky enough to work for her dad’s engineering firm as a personal assistant. It wasn’t what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, but for now, it paid the bills. Her dream was to go back to school and become an interior designer. She loved every show on HGTV and found herself dreaming about decorating a big, beautiful log cabin someday. She would love a little cabin in the woods for her and Zac. She fell in love with Drew and his brother Ryan’s cabin in Tennessee. They had taken her and Karlie there when they were hiding from Jake. That seemed so long ago now.
She had heard from Drew that Ryan was doing well. She knew that he was nearing the end of his service as a Navy pilot, but that was about all she had heard. She was afraid to ask Karlie or Drew too much about Ryan for fear that he had found someone and was happy. Not that she didn’t wish for Ryan to be happy, but she had always secretly hoped that he could be happy with her.
Jenna shook her head, trying to erase her last thoughts of Ryan. She had spent way too many lonely nights thinking about him. He played the starring role in her fantasies, late at night, after Zac was tucked into bed. She even thought she had seen him in town about a year after Zac was born. She ran after him, but he seemed to vanish into thin air. When she asked Karlie if Ryan was home on leave, later that week, Karlie acted as if she were tongue-tied. She told Jenna that Ryan was still deployed, butJenna got the feeling that her sister wasn’t exactly telling her the truth.
After she and Ryan shared Zac’s birth, she thought that she would at least rate a postcard from his latest destination. But she heard nothing from Ryan for the past two years. So much for naming her son after him. She learned her lesson (again) and moved on. She decided that Ryan's leaving and her failed marriage to Jake were signs that she needed to grow up and take responsibility for herself. She thought that she was doing a pretty good job of it, too. Zac seemed happy and pretty well adjusted, and Jenna was doing just fine without a man in her life. She had her fantasies and her vibrator to keep her company. What more could a girl want? Ryan Jackson, that was what, or more likely, who she wanted. But some men were better left to fantasy because real life never seemed to measure up.
∞
Jenna must have fallen asleep because she woke to the sound of someone pounding on her front door and drool running down her chin, onto her pillow. Wiping her face with her sleeve, she realized that it was still dark out.
“Shit, that’s going to wake the baby.” She stumbled up, trying to find her bearings to make it to the door. The television was still on, but now an infomercial for knives played. She found the remote and turned off the TV, only to hear someone pound on her front door again.
“I’m coming,” she hissed at the closed door. She looked out the peephole to see Ryan Jackson, in all his six-foot, three-inch glory, standing with a sour expression on his gorgeous face. What the hell? She had fallen asleep thinking about the man,and here he was, banging down her door after two years of nothing. Not one, single word. She thought about not answering, but then he raised his big fist to pound again, and she couldn’t risk Zac being woken.
“What the hell do you want, Ryan?” She growled at him as she swung open her front door, leaving the old wooden screen door between them. Ryan pulled back his raised fist and shoved it into his front jean pocket.
“I—um, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by princess.” God, she hated it when he called her that. She was far from living like a princess; anyone could see that. Well, anyone who had stuck around long enough to notice. Ryan sure hadn’t done that.
“We are not friends, Ryan. You don’t just drop by someone’s home in the middle of the night, because you were in the neighborhood.” She put her hands on her hips, blocking her entrance to her home.
Ryan, the big, beautiful man, just smiled at her. “Well, I thought that you might still be up since it’s only nine o’clock. I didn’t know that most people considered it the middle of the night. Maybe I’ve been away a little too long, sweetheart, but if I remember correctly, we were good enough friends for me to be in the delivery room when Zac was born. I’d say that makes us pretty damn good friends, considering I’ve seen all your lady parts and all.” He winked at her and was still smiling his sexy as sin smile.
Jenna didn’t know what to say to that. He was right; he had seen her at the most vulnerable time in her life, but then he left her. He just walked away from her after making her feel like she mattered. Maybe it was just her hormones or the loss of hermarriage, but she thought that Ryan had feelings for her. She was wrong, she knew that now, but it didn’t make it hurt any less when he walked away from her so easily.
“Ryan, I don’t have time to stand here and talk to you about my lady parts. I have to be up early in the morning with my son, get him to school, and then go to work. Princess or not, I have responsibilities. So, if you will excuse me, I am going back to sleep because when you have to wake up before the sun, nine o’clock is the middle of the night.” She started to shut her front door, but Ryan had opened her screen door and put his big work boot in the door frame before she could completely close it.
She knew better than to fight with Ryan; he was so much bigger than her, and if he wanted in, he’d be in. He just stood there with his hand over hers on the door. She felt an awareness that she hadn’t felt in years. Her body tensed, and she looked into his beautiful green eyes.
“Yeah, you feel that too, huh?” He was rubbing her hand with his thumb, making the tingling more intense. It was like she could feel his touch down in her core.
“Ryan, I—” She pulled her hand out from under his, breaking the connection. “I have to go to bed. I’m tired and have an early start tomorrow.”
Ryan barked out a laugh, “Yeah, Zac has school, and you have work—on a Saturday?”
Jenna felt her face get hot, and she knew she had turned bright red from embarrassment. How had she forgotten that it was Friday night? Oh yeah, because unlike the rest of the town, Friday night for her was just like any other weeknight.
“I know it’s Saturday, tomorrow,” she defended. “I just forgot for a minute. You woke me up with all your pounding, and I’m a little foggy. It has been a long day. You’re lucky that you didn’t wake up Zac with all the noise you were making.”
