Page 9 of Heal You
Morgan crossed the room and stopped in front of Jan.She smelled of white tea and mint, Morgan’s favourite shower gel.“Hey,” Morgan said as she lifted a hand to Jan’s cheek.“You don’t take shit from him, okay?Whatever bullshit he feeds you, you walk away with your head held high.He’s the one who fucked up, not you.”
Jan subconsciously leaned into Morgan’s touch as her eyes closed.“I feel worthless.”
Morgan stroked her fingers along Jan’s jawline and brought them to her chin.“Look at me.”
When Jan’s eyes opened, the blueness of them had Morgan’s heart pounding.“Don’teverfeel worthless.You’ve done nothing wrong, and if he can’t see what he had and is now losing, then I feel sorry for him.Heshould feel worthless.Heshould feel ashamed.Not you.”
“I spent so long reminding Gillian of the things you’ve just said, but deep down, I know he needs more.He must do.”Jan sniffled.“Twenty-seven years together, and he’s getting his kicks elsewhere.I was so in love with him that I chose to look past his faults,ourfaults within the marriage, and now look at me.”
“He has a mouth, Jan.If he chooses not to use it to communicate, then that’s not on you.You did the decent thing and went to marriage counselling.”God, Morgan hated seeing Jan like this.Her prick of a husband didn’t deserve her at all.
“I…have nothing left.”Jan whimpered as she lowered her eyes.“I even work with him.How am I supposed to keep doing that, knowing he’s around and Anais is probably around, too.He’s not going to fire her.That’sa lawsuit waiting to happen.”
“The important thing right now is that you concentrate on yourself.Look afteryou, not him or anyone else.Youhaveto allow yourself the time to process this.”
“I don’t know how I would have got through last night without you.”Jan took the hand resting under her chin and pressed her lips to Morgan’s knuckles.The sensation it caused had Morgan’s stomach somersaulting, but she couldn’t focus on that.Whatever shefeltwas happening here…wasn’t.“Thank you, Morgan.”
God, even the way Jan spoke her name had the hairs on the back of Morgan’s neck standing to attention.But Morgan knew Jan wasn’t interested in her.She was straight—Morgan was certain of it.“You’re welcome.”And now she had to create some distance between them.“I’ll put some breakfast on for us while you’re getting dressed.”
Jan turned for the bedroom and closed the door behind her.Morgan remained in her place, pressing a palm to the wood separating them, and sighed.Right now, Jan’s well-being was the priority.Once she had left, Morgan could give herself a moment to process her own feelings.Until then, she would treat her guest the same way she would treat anyone else.With respect and a line between them.
* * *
With a shaking hand,Jan slid her key into the lock and opened the front door.Everything remained as it had always been, not an item out of place, but her heart was aching in her chest.She’d always wondered what a broken heart felt like, and as she stood in her bright, vanilla-scented hallway, she now knew.It wasn’t something she would wish on anyone.Just get some things together and leave.
What a dreadful feeling to have.The house she had poured so much love into with Phil felt alien to her.She didn’t feel as though she belonged in it anymore.Would Anais move in with Phil?Would he break things off with her?Jan didn’t know any answers right now other than the fact that she needed to leave as soon as possible.
As she placed one foot on the stairs, the back living room door opened suddenly.“Thank God you’re home.”Phil sighed with relief, then frowned.“Where the hell have you been dressed like that?”
Jan looked back at Phil with utter disgust.“Why do you care where I’ve been?”
“Of course I care.You’re my wife, and you didn’t come home last night.”
“Oh!NowI’m your wife?When it fucking suits you!”Jan didn’t want to get angry, she didn’t have the energy for it, but how dare Phil say something like that to her?“And since you care so much, I stayed with a friend.”
“Gill?She knows?Great!”
Jan almost laughed at that.If this hadn’t been such a serious situation, shewouldhave laughed.But this was a mess, and she had no idea where she would go from here.Nothing about this was remotely funny.“Gill doesn’t know anything.I feel too fucking embarrassed to tell her.So, thank you for that.I have nobody to fall back on becauseyou’vemade me feel so fucking humiliated that I don’t want to face my closest friend.”
“This has nothing to do with anybody else.It’s between you and me.”
Jan narrowed her eyes.“And Gareth and Anais.”
“Love.”Phil reached out a hand, but Jan shifted away.
“Don’t dare touch me.You’ve been fucking another woman for a year, so don’t youdarelay a hand on me, Phil.”
He held up his hands and took a step back.The light caught his wedding ring, but it only made Jan sick to the stomach all over again.She lowered her clutch bag to the stairs, then removed her custom-made wedding and engagement rings.She dropped them into his palm, then looked back up to meet his gaze.
“W-what are you doing?”Phil stared down at the platinum in his hand as his bottom lip trembled.
“Thank you for ruining the twenty-seven years we spent together.Do whatever you like with those.I have no use for them anymore.”Without another word, Jan took the stairs slowly, the weight of what was happening crushing her shoulders.She felt tired and drained.She felt…hopeless.
“Jan!We need to talk about this!You can’t just walk out on me.”
Jan turned around when she reached the top of the stairs and glared at Phil.“We have nothing to talk about, and Icanjust walk out on you.”She scoffed and shook her head.“And take this as my notice.I resign.Don’t expect me to work the four weeks required either.”
“Jan, love.Please.”
