Page 10 of Heal You
Jan walked away and directly into the bedroom.She eyed the bed, consumed by so many questions.Had Phil ever brought Anais over here?Had that woman been in her bed?She balked at the thought, rushing into the ensuite and emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet.As Jan lowered herself to the floor and pressed her back against the bath, tears slowly worked their way down her face.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
She stared at her knees as she brought them to her chest, her eyes burning when fresh tears appeared.How long would crying last?Would she ever stop, or would the pain of her marriage ending consume her forever?Gillian had pulled through, but then again, Gillian had found someone ten times the person Dave ever could have been.Jan didn’t feel as though she was in a similar position.Gillian hadn’t been happy with Dave, but Jan?She’d worshipped the ground Phil walked on…even when she felt something was off within their marriage.Perhaps that had been where she’d gone wrong.Unconditionally adoring someone could only ever bring disappointment.At the end of the day,nobodywas perfect.On reflection, Phil certainly hadn’t been.
The only thing she knew with certainty right now was that there was no coming back for them.Other people may be willing to give that second chance, but Jan couldn’t.She would forever wonder what Phil was doing and who he was with.That trust had been obliterated, and there was no going back.
She exhaled a shaky breath and wiped the tears from her face.“Time to…start over.”
Chapter5
Morgan heldher phone in her hand, staring down at the screen.Amanda was calling her, but she was praying it would ring off before she found the courage to answer it.She didn’t want to deal with her own life.She’d spent enough time helping Jan out with hers.Yes, she was avoiding the situation, and no, she didn’t care.Amanda was just…too much for her today.She would have an answer for everything Morgan threw at her, and right now, Morgan didn’t have the attention span for that kind of conversation.All she wanted when the time came to confront Amanda was the truth.Plain and simple.
She’s going to bullshit her way out of this.I know it.
Morgan lowered her phone to the shelf beneath the bar and got back to work.In the grand scheme of things, her situation with Amanda wasn’t that important.Morgan had specifically avoided any sort of attachment with her because she didn’t want to be tied down.With the right person, she would love nothing more than that, but there had always been something about Amanda that just about kept Morgan at arm’s length.Today, she was grateful for that.
She groaned when her phone pinged.If Amanda didn’t stop the constant calls and messages, Morgan was going to block her.That wasn’t really what she wanted to do, she would prefer to move on with her life without adding to her never-ending block list, but it was something she was considering.
Only as she lifted her phone again, it wasn’t Amanda.It was Jan.
Hi, Morgan.Thank you for everything you did for me the other night and the following morning.I don’t know what I would have done without you.I owe you dinner when you’re available.Jan x
Morgan tried to suppress a smile but failed.Jan wanted to take her for dinner to say thank you?Well, Morgan couldn’t turn that down even if she knew she should.Jan’s situation was going to be complicated, Morgan wasn’t stupid, but that wasn’t her main concern.No, her biggest issue was the idea of being alone with Jan again.That woman knew how to dress, she knew how to present herself, and fucking hell…she was hot.Four days on from Jan showing up here, and Morgan had her firmly on her mind.
Morgan had always thought Amanda was hot, and yeah, she was.But Jan?Oh, Jan was on another level entirely.Before last night, Jan’s confidence whenever she walked through the door to Morgan’s bar was like nothing she’d ever come across before.But it wasn’t a confidence that intimidated you or made you question the kind of person Jan was.It was just a sexy ‘I’m an older woman, and I know my worth’ kind of confidence.Amanda, on the other hand, knew she was attractive, and she didn’t care who she looked down her nose at.
She tapped her foot against the floor, trying to find the right words to respond to Jan.Morgan had almost put herself in it the other day when Jan had gone up to the flat with her, and she really didn’t want Jan to think that she was doing this for herbecauseMorgan was a lesbian.Yes, she’d been accused ofthatbefore today.Morgan appreciated women—how could she not?—but she would never try it on with someone going through so much.Throw in the fact that Jan was straight, and Morgan knew it was a recipe for disaster.That had been the very reason she’d put anything she felt for Jan to the back of her mind thesecondshe knew she was a married woman.
Hey!Great to hear from you.I couldn’t let you leave last night.You weren’t in the right frame of mind to wander the streets.You know I’m around if you need anything.
Morgan chose not to add a kiss to the end of her message, even though Jan had put one at the end of hers.She would simply play it cool and leave it at that.
Her phone buzzed in her hand.
He was home when I got here.I thought he would be at work x
Morgan winced as she read that message.With the mood Jan had been in that morning, she didn’t imagine seeing her husband was really what she wanted.The pain in her eyes, the shake of her hands, it just…felt devastating.This didn’t even involve Morgan, but her heartdidbreak for Jan.
She responded immediately.
Are you okay?
As she waited for a reply, the bar door opened, and Amanda walked through it.Morgan clenched her jaw.She didn’t want to do this now.Not while she was working and certainly not in front of the few daytime paying customers she had dotted around the place.
“Why aren’t you answering my calls?”Amanda lowered her handbag to the bar with a thud.“I told you the other week that I’d be here for a couple of days with you.You didn’t let me know what you wanted for dinner, so here I am, empty-handed.”
Morgan’s brows rose.Even though Amanda had no idea Morgan knew the truth, she was still surprised Amanda had walked through the door.“Could I have a word with you out the back?”
Amanda smirked.“Sure.A word.”
“No, I’m serious.Idowant a word with you, so whatever ideas you have in your head about what’s going to happen out there, you can get rid of them right now.”Morgan recognised the look in Amanda’s eyes as she rounded the bar counter and stepped through the door Morgan held open for her.It led to the cellar; it was cold and damp, but this wouldn’t take Morgan long at all.She would be back in the warmth of the bar in mere moments.
“What’s going on?”Amanda folded her arms across her chest and leant against the wall.
“Okay, so…let me explain this to you.”Morgan carded a hand through her hair and cleared her throat.“You’re going to go back out into the bar, get your bag, and leave.”
Amanda scoffed.“Excuse me?”
