Page 20 of A Very Snowed In New Year
SHAY:They never did bring out any good protein options btw.
SHAY:My macro tracker was not impressed lol.
ME:Hey. Cool meeting you too.
SHAY:We should hang before you go back to NYC.
ME:Yeah, I’m pretty busy right up until I leave, but I’ll be back after Christmas for a couple of weeks.
SHAY:Yeah, I’m super busy too.
SHAY:I’ll be at Soho House for lunch at one if you want to meet me there. Are you a member?
ME:I’m not, no.
SHAY:I’ll put you on the list as my guest. I’ll be at a screening at the DGA tonight and then I have three holiday parties to go to after. You should come. I’ll let you know when I’m leaving for Soho House and we’ll go from there.
ME:Cool. Happy holidays if I don’t see you before I leave.
No response to that, so that’s good news.
Although I really want to work with Alex Vega. He seems like a cool guy. He gets great performances out of his actors, and I saw a lot of his work on and off Broadway when I was in high school. I’ve liked the scripts for every film he’s directed, and there’s a soulfulness to his work that speaks to me. The guy’s legit.
If bringing a pretty actress to one movie premiere is really all it takes to beat out all the other actors in my age group at the agency, then who am I to pass judgment so quickly? Shay has a long list of acting credits—a lot longer than mine—so she must have some kind of talent. She just isn’t good at making small talk at parties or in texts. Which is kind of charming when you think about it. Or maybe I make her nervous. Because I’m so talented and good-looking and way more intelligent than the guys she’s used to talking to.
Yeah, that’s it.
She’s probably just nervous because she likes me so much.
ME:But hopefully we’ll meet up at some point!
There.
Vague and noncommittal, with an exclamation point to indicate non-dickish availability under the right circumstances.
Might as well see where this goes.
SEVEN
Piper
DECEIT CUTE
What’s a more descriptive way of saying the heroine starts to undress? Something that won’t take up too much page real estate or read like I’m trying to direct the script?She shrugs off her oversized sweater and then shimmies out of her slip dress, letting it pool around her feet.“Nice,” I say to no one, saving my draft and high-fiving myself.
I have polished this script to the point of perfection. The meet-cute is cute. The dialogue is zippy. The characters are refreshingly relatable. The second act turning point is…in there somewhere. I’ve managed to cut it down from 175 pages to 110. Now I just need the right person to read it. I need someone to fall in love with it. Preferably someone with a production deal. Or a studio. Or someone who’s Holden Archer.
I get up from my desk, stretch, and head for the kitchen to get some leftover diner pie from last night. It was so delicious that only someone who can remain a virgin while attending a LosAngeles college for three and a half years could possibly refrain from eating it all at once. But I’m savoring it. I’m savoring everything because this really might be the last December I spend in LA, for a while at least.
I stop in my tracks to adjust the bagpiper ornament on the little artificial Christmas tree I’ve set up on the kitchen island. It’s part of the Twelve Days of Christmas set Aunt Mel gave me last year. She gives me a Twelve Days of Christmas set of ornaments every year. Actually, she only gives me the eleventh-day piper ornament from each set. But she has managed to get me a different one from a different set every single year. I am actually looking forward to dinner at that crazy bird’s house this week. I’m even looking forward to the Cool Whip desserts and roast chicken farts.
Lainey is in a tank top, sleep shorts, and slouchy socks, leaning against the kitchen counter, staring at her phone as she waits for the coffee to brew and looking like every hot teenage girl who was ever murdered in a horror film. “Um. Hey, Poops? You need a job, right? Part-time?”
“Well, yeah. Sure,” I say, opening the fridge. “Flexible hours for now, ideally. Why?”
She turns to face me, finally looking up from her phone. “Okay, I want you to think about this really carefully—from all angles—pros and cons… Don’t say yes just because you’re in love with Holden Archer?—”
“Yes.”
