Page 21 of A Very Snowed In New Year
“And also don’t say no just because my sister is awful and you’re going to hate her.”
I shut the fridge door, forgetting about the pie, because how can I eat when Lainey is going to tell me something involving Holden. “Lainey. What?”
“Okay, so my sister knows that you help me with—what do we call it? How you help me sound clever in texts with guys?”
“I text guys for you and make you sound more clever.”
“Exactly. I’ve mentioned to Shay about how you’ve been doing that for me for years, and she would like to meet you so she can hire you to text Holden Archer as her and make her sound like less of a boring, shallow B-Face. My words, not hers. She says he’s boring and she doesn’t have time for it but she needs to make this work so she can make her ex jealous.”
I have so many questions.
First of all—what?!
Also—what the actual fuck?!
Why the hell is Holden Archer texting with that boring, shallow B-Face?
How dumb do you have to be to think Holden Archer is boring?!
Is this how I want my relationship with Holden, and therefore my love life, to begin?
Would this be the best or the worst thing that has ever happened to me?!
When can I start?!
Is she going to give me her phone?
Will I have to move in with her?
How does this work?
“Are you breathing?” Lainey asks.
“Yes,” I manage to whisper.
“Because it really looks like you aren’t breathing.”
“I am. Where do I meet her? When?”
“She’s on her way over.”
“Overhere? Now?”
“Yeah. She’ll be here any minute.”
I have never met Lainey’s sister before. Which is really something, now that I think of it, given that Lainey and I have been roommates for almost four years. I’ve met her parents, but I’ve never met the actress sister. She will be the second-most famous person who has ever been to our apartment, after Eddie Cannavale, and he just stopped by to drop off Christmas presents. I look down, realizing I’m still in my flannel pajamas. This is going to be a defining moment, and I haven’t showered. “What should I wear?”
“Honestly? If you want to do this for her, it’s probably better if she isn’t intimidated by how pretty you are.”
I bark out a laugh, even though she doesn’t sound like she’s kidding. “Mean!”
“I’m serious.” She does look serious. “My sister is very insecure. Just stay in your pj’s.”
“Whaaaaat?!” I pat the messy bun on top of my head, starting to loosen it.
“Don’t take your hair down. If she sees how long and thick your hair is, she won’t trust you.”
“What are you talking about? Are you messing with me right now?”
