EDDIE: To be clear, I will never stop teasing you for being a nerd. Even when I’m inside you.
EDDIE: I’m coming up there. Is the duke with you? I will slap him with his own bloody scarf. I will serve him a weak cup of Lipton tea with sugar and watch the old chap squirm in his fancy throne.
BIRDIE: He’s not here. Eddie, are you just being like this because you finally think I’ve met someone who’s worthy of dating me or something?
EDDIE: I’m being like this because I finally realized I’M worthy of dating you.
BIRDIE: Eddie… That is so sweet.
EDDIE: And I don’t think Lord Properfuck is worthy of you at all.
BIRDIE: I don’t think he’s even interested in me like that.
EDDIE: I think most guys are interested in you like that. The fact that you don’t realize it makes you even more attractive.
BIRDIE: Okay, thank you. But you have to stop saying awesome things like that. I’ll be down in an hour to pack. I still need time away from your face and your mouth and your hands and your penis.
EDDIE: And that’s a no, re the sexting?
BIRDIE: For now, yes. It’s a no.
EDDIE: You’ve never sexted with anyone before, have you?
BIRDIE: I have. I haven’t had satisfying sext with anyone before, but it was easier when I barely knew the guys.
EDDIE: You want to start over with me, don’t you?
BIRDIE: I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t even know if that’s possible for us.
EDDIE: I’m pretty sure anything’s possible for us, Bird. I got this. You’ll see.