Page 12 of Austin's Answer
Her head whipped around, eyes wide, lips parted. “What?”
“I didn’t know until you came to treat the horses.” My throat was dry, causing my voice to rasp. “All this time, I’ve allowed guilt to consume me because I had feelings for a woman not my mate. I couldn’t let you go, but I didn’t think it would be fair to her, so I pushed it aside. Tried to ignore it. And then there you were. My everything. And I had to face the fact I may have destroyed my chance with you because I was a stupid teenage boy who didn’t see what was right in front of him.”
Her eyes were wet, but the tears didn’t fall. She blinked several times, and I watched as she took a slow, deep breath and let it out. She slipped out of Molly’s stall and moved to the next horse, her movements almost robotic.
“Did I destroy my chance with you, Em?” I almost whispered the words, but I knew she heard them by the way she paused before continuing. Patience wasn’t my greatest strength, but I forced myself to wait for her to respond, as much as I wanted to push for an answer.
She worked her way through the horses and administered care to them. We mixed up feed and measured out small portions, hand feeding the weakest of the horses. Her gaze fell on me occasionally as we fed them, and I almost felt the weight of her thoughts as she turned them over in her head.
When we finished, we cleaned up in the sink, and I poured a cup of coffee for each of us. I gave her most of Mae’s cookies, as if that would help sway things in my favor. She sat on the bench along the wall, leaving enough room for me. I debated whether I should join her. But since she had the option to sit in the middle if she didn’t want me next to her, I took it as an invitation.
She bit into a cookie, chewing slowly. My insides jumped and twisted. Everything tightened. Like I would break into pieces if I so much as breathed wrong. But I could only wait for her to speak, and hope she would grant me another chance.
Emily
I needed to say something. But my brain was a jumble. The man who broke my seventeen-year-old heart wanted me to believe I was now his everything. That I always was, in a way. It was both a dream and a splash of cold reality. What happened eight years ago hadn’t needed to happen. The pain of these past years had been unnecessary.
I chose my words carefully.
“I loved you, probably as much as a teenage girl can. Your words back then shattered me, and I’ve spent the years since building a layer of armor around my heart, determined not to ever experience that pain again.” I took a slow sip of coffee, letting the bitter brew warm me and center me. “I thought I was over you. I wanted to be over you, but I know I’m not.”
His head came up, turning to face me with a cautious hope stirring in his gaze.
“But even though I still… have feelings for you, I don’t know if I can open myself up to it again.” I bit my lip, holding back words that wanted to gush out and tell him I loved him. I wouldn’t let my heart rule me. By Austin’s own admission, he’d lied to me. Whatever the reason, it was still a lie. He could have been honest with me and told me about mates then. How could I trust he wouldn’t lie to me again?
“I’ll wait. However long it takes.” The fervor in his voice took me by surprise. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on hisknees, clasping his hands together. “Whatever you need from me, just ask. I’ll answer any question, do anything. You’re it, Em, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”
His declaration made my insides twist. I didn’t like the image it created of Austin jumping through hoops for me. It wasn’t what I wanted. If I let myself think about a future where I trusted him with my heart again, I saw him as a partner. An equal in the relationship. Not someone who constantly needed to prove himself.
I studied him. “Why would you want a life like that?”
“It’s the shifter way. We don’t take our mates for granted. At least, that’s the way Mom and Dad taught us.” He shot me a grin, a little bit of the less serious Austin peeking through. “It’s not a hardship, proving my feelings. Parts of it can even be… fun.” He winked.
My cheeks heated. “I’m definitely not ready for those parts.”
“Just say the word.”
“You’ll be the first to know.” The words slipped out before I could rethink them. Luckily, Austin didn’t push it any further. We fell back into silence and finished the coffee and cookies.
I checked the time on my phone. “We should head back. There’s only three hours to sleep before we need to feed the horses again.”
He stood, holding his hand out to me. It was just a hand, no big deal, but an enormous pressure settled on me. If I took his hand, I was committing to giving him a chance. If I wasn’t capable of that, he deserved to know—sooner rather than later.
I bit my lip as I turned it over in my head. This was my chance to escape without risk to myself. But now that I knew why he broke my heart, however misguided, I could see the young Austin in my mind as I once saw him. The boy who listened to me, who laughed with me, who shared his secrets. The promiseof who I believed he could be when he grew up was a possibility again. And I wanted to see if he lived up to it.
I slid my hand into his, the work-roughened palm strong against mine. A smile that reached deep into his eyes bloomed across his face. “To second chances.”
SIX
Austin
I whistled as I led the newest guests into the arena next to the main barn. Luke shook his head as I moved to stand next to him, where he held Ginger’s reins.
“I’m surprised you’re not skipping like a little girl,” he muttered. “You’re practically radiating sunshine.”
“Life is good, brother. Life is good.” I elbowed him. “You’ll see. One day it’ll be you.”
He snorted. “Not likely. I doubt I’ll find my mate.”
