Page 11 of Austin's Answer
“I always thought so. Until I didn’t…”
The longer I stared at the portrait, the more confused I was. When Austin broke my heart, I told myself I’d imagined the more serious side of him. That he was all cocky bravado. But looking at the portrait Gabriel had painted, I knew that wasn’t true. It made me wonder why he’d said those words to me back then. It didn’t fit with the Austin I knew. It never had. And that had made it hard to move on. How could I let go when it made no sense?
“I thought I knew who he was, once. But he did something so out of character that I can’t reconcile it in my head. In my heart.”
Sierra’s skirt swished as she moved next to me. “Have you asked him about it?”
“He tried to talk to me, but I wouldn’t listen.” Tears pricked at my eyes, and my breath shuddered out. “I’m afraid I’ll get hurt again.”
She was silent for a minute. “Maybe you will. But maybe that’s what you need to move forward.”
“Closure, you mean?”
“Or a new beginning. I don’t know what happened between you two, or why, so I don’t know what the outcome will be. All I know is what I’ve learned since coming here. Sometimes we think we know what we need and want in life, but when we open ourselves up to the possibilities, we discover a life worth so muchmore.” Sierra crossed over to a beautiful wooden desk in the corner and opened a drawer, pulling something out and coming back to give it to me.
I stared at the small print of Austin’s portrait. Even in this format, his green eyes stared into mine, opening something deep inside me. Another crack in the armor I’d built around my heart.
I couldn’t banish those eyes from my head as I walked back to the house and showered. And when I napped, knowing I’d be up several times in the night to check on the horses, his eyes were all I remembered of my dreams. Throughout dinner, I avoided looking at Austin, but his gaze on me was like a touch; it was so tangible. And still I saw those eyes.
Despite telling myself for the last eight years that I had too much pride to ask Austin to explain himself, now I knew I needed to. My heart would never let him go without answers.
FIVE
Austin
The stairs creaked as I poured coffee into a thermos. I grabbed a bag of Mae’s cookies and turned to greet Emily when she entered the kitchen. She had barely looked at me during dinner, her eyes darting away anytime they landed on me. Now, those brown eyes filled with cautious determination as they met mine.
“What are you doing up?”
“There’s a saboteur loose who’s been able to get around our security. No way am I letting you go to check on the horses by yourself.” I held up the thermos and cookies. “I bring snacks.”
“Are those Mae’s chocolate chip cookies?” When I nodded, she snatched them out of my hand. “I’ve missed these!”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say I’d missed her, but I resisted, worried she’d shut down if I pushed too far too fast. “The coffee’s decaf. I figured you’d want to get sleep between checks.”
“Good idea.” She pushed open the back door, and we crossed the yard. Crickets chirped, and a gentle breeze blew through the grass. The night was cool, but not cold. We walked in silence,but it was comfortable. When we passed the gallery, her gaze slid over to me.
“I checked out the gallery earlier.”
“Gabriel and Sierra did a great job. We get tons of people coming to the dude ranch because of it.” I tried to stay casual, but couldn’t help wondering what she thought of my portrait. Gabriel’s work always prompted some sort of emotion, but that piece was a punch to my gut. Seeing myself through his eyes embarrassed me—and I wasn’t easily embarrassed.
“It’s still strange to me. Thinking of this place with outsiders. It always felt like a secret little world that few people got to see.”
“We definitely had to adjust.” I held open the barn door for her. “But it’s brought us so many blessings, it’s worth it. Without the dude ranch, Declan, Ethan, and Gabriel may never have found their mates.”
“Mates? That’s a weird way to say girlfriends.” A low laugh escaped her. “Is it a shifter thing?”
I weighed my words. Was it time to tell her? She was asking, and it might be my only chance.
“Yes. But it doesn’t really mean girlfriend.” I leaned against the stall door as she checked on Molly. “Shifters have fated mates. They’re who we’re meant to be with. We know them in an instant, and they become our everything.”
Her hands paused before resuming their exam. “But Chloe, Hannah, and Sierra are human.”
“Yeah. Caught us all by surprise. It’s not unheard of, but we all expected to have shifter mates.” I cleared my throat. “I know you said before you didn’t want to talk about what happened eight years ago, but I need you to know I didn’t mean the words I said. I was pushing you away because I couldn’t let myself have feelings for you. My mate deserved to have all of me, and I was scared I’d give to you what belonged to her.”
She stilled, her shoulders rigid. “I see.”
“No, you don’t. Because I didn’t.” My chest tightened, and my skin heated. “I left before you turned eighteen. If I had waited, I would have known. My mate was with me all along. My mate is you.”
