Page 4 of Unmask
Bending down, I picked up my phone, and this time, I didn’t look back despite the conflict pressing inside me.
I lockedthe office door behind me, pressing my spine against it, sucking in a breath that did absolutely nothing to steady the riot inside me. The walls were closing in. The world spiraled around me.
“What the fuck have I done?” I muttered under my breath. My knees buckled, and I hit the floor hard, curling into myself, trying to hold everything in, trying to contain the hurricane of emotions threatening to rip me apart from the inside out.
But I couldn’t.
A sob tore from my throat, raw and violent, my forehead dropping to my knees. Then another. And another. Until I was screaming. Silent at first, then louder, the sound clawing its way up, choking me, shaking me apart. I wailed into the empty room and let out one long, tortured scream brimming with anger, agony, loss, loneliness, heartache, and betrayal.
I didn’t know how to process it. Any of it.
My father. My parents’ death. Kreed. His brothers. His father. The lies. The truth.
If I thought I had come close to dealing with a fraction of my grief, I was so wrong. My body trembled; my breath came too fast, too shallow. A high-pitched buzzing filled my ears, spreading to my fingers, making my hands feel both weightless and unbearably heavy at the same time.
Breathe. Just breathe.
I pressed my hands to my chest, trying to force air into my lungs, but it wasn’t working. My vision blurred, darkening at the edges.
I needed—God, I didn’t even know what I needed.
My phone.
I turned it over with shaking fingers, barely able to see the screen through my tears. Kenny. Carson. My best friends. The ones who had always been my go-to when my world was falling apart, but my thumb didn’t tap their names.
Instead, it hovered over one contact.
Kreed.
What the hell is wrong with me?
My stomach twisted. When had that changed? When hadhebecome the person I wanted to call when I couldn’t breathe?
No. No, I can’t do this. Won’t.
I hated how my traitorous heart wanted him even as my mind screamed he was poison. Trauma did that; it scrambled the compass until north looked like south, until danger felt like home. Kreed was just as much a part of this mess as the rest of them. I had to separate myself from the chaos so I could see clearly. Right now, everything was muddled.
With my jaw clamped, I swiped away from his name, pulling up Carson’s number instead. Before I pressed call, a knock echoed through the room.
My heart stopped.
For a second, I thought it might be Kreed. Had he come back? My throat worked as I swallowed. I started to shove away from the door.
“Kaylor?”
Shit. Rusty.
Disappointment dropped like a severed wrecking ball in my gut. I’d nearly forgotten him, forgotten where I was. Relief ribboned through me, but it didn’t last. Why was my first thought always Kreed? He was gone, and I should be happy. I should be feeling anything but sad and broken. Anger, hell yes.
“You okay?” Rusty asked through the office door.
A bitter laugh bubbled up. “No.”
The shifting of his feet sounded from the other side of the door. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s get you out of here. It’s been a long day. You’ll feel better after you’ve rested.”
I swiped at my face, the black makeup I’d been wearing for the football game smeared over my still shaky fingers. The football game. It seemed like years ago I’d been sitting in the stands with Poppy.Oh God. Poppy. Was she okay? “Go where?” I squeaked, wiping at the snot dripping from my nose.
“Somewhere you can cool off for a bit. No one will bother you there.” His voice, that deep, gruff timbre, easily carried through the door.
