Page 93 of The Holy Grail
“Well, I don’t know if that would interest me, to be honest. I mean, I have an abundance of self-esteem, but—”
“Really? Where have you been hiding it?”
The joke, delivered with the dryness of the Sahara Desert, had Jules cracking up. When she was done, she continued. “Like I was saying, I have an abundance of self-esteem, but I’ve never been good at sharing. That could be because I was an only child and sharing didn’t come into play very often, but I don’t know if I could ever share you with anyone.”
He lifted his hand, which was still entwined with hers and raised it so he could kiss her knuckles. “I don’t know if I could share you, either.”
“So … what happened next? Did Gwen take her turn with another man?” Jules asked lightly, even though the subject matter was serious.
“Actually, no. Gwen wanted to watch me fuck the same woman, this time from behind.”
“Did Gwen join in again?”
“Yes. And this time she played with me. She kneeled beside me on the bed and held onto my balls almost the entire time, kind of squeezing, and when I was getting ready to come, she had me pull out. She then removed the condom and jerked me off until I came on the woman’s back.”
For a second, Jules pictured herself in place of the escort, with Malcom behind her … and minus Gwen, of course. It was an oddly titillating image, and she almost missed what he said next.
“We experimented with Zoe about a dozen times—”
“Jesus, really?”
“Yeah. Looking back I think it was on purpose, to get me used to it, to where it started to seem normal, you know? Because itwasstarting to feel normal to have a third person involved with us.”
“Can I cut in again?”
“Sure.”
“What was your sex life with Gwen like at this point, when it was just the two of you?” Jules asked. She figured it might be too personal, but it was her belief you never got answers to questions you didn’t ask, so there was no harm in asking.
“It was different than it used to be,” he replied slowly. “It was like she wasn’t really into it unless we were involving another person, so we didn’t have regular sex very often, because it wasn’t as exciting or fulfilling to her. Once we incorporated a third person, it fundamentally changed the landscape of our marriage.”
“Did it feel like you were drifting apart?”
“It did,” Malcom confirmed. “We had a few discussions about it, but my concerns were always brushed aside, and when Gwen told me it was my turn to watch her fuck another man, I wasn’t surprised. It had pretty much run its course with Zoe, so … it was time to move on.”
“But you weren’t loving the thought of it?”
“Not really, no. But I agreed, because in the end, it was only fair.”
Jules thought about all that for a moment, then asked, “So … did she pick out a guy from the website?”
“She looked, but apparently none of the men were what she was looking for, so her plan stalled for a while. Then, one night she wanted to go out for a couple of drinks and we ended up in a bar downtown. We sat at one end of the bar, and before we’d even ordered anything, Gwen was telling me she’d found her guy.”
“Really? That seems extraordinarily fast.”
“It was one of the bartenders. And even though we’d agreed everything that happened would be with someone from the escort service, she was adamant about this guy. So, after we ordered our drinks and he brought them to us, the three of us started talking—well,it was mostly her and him, but you get the picture. Anyway, Gwen told the bartender we were looking for someone to experiment with and asked if he’d be interested. At first he thought it was going to be a three-way, but she told him I was mainly going to watch him have sex with Gwen.”
Something in his voice made her ask, “Was he disappointed by that?”
“He seemed to be, yes. But he agreed, and the three of us met a week later in a hotel, and I watched the two of them … fuck.”
“What was that like for you? Being on the other end?”
“It was a little unsettling,” he said quietly. “But … not as bad as I thought it would be. He was very charismatic and charming, and I know this is going to sound really weird, but I was drawn to that in a way. He just had that ‘it’ factor.”
“It doesn’t sound weird. I know someone like that.”
“You have it, too.”
