Page 103 of The Truth Serum
But would that still be possible if he was ruined socially? If she only brought him scandal and difficult in-laws? She didn’t know. And she couldn’t get an answer until after Tuesday. Everything hinged on that.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Nate stared intohis ale and tried to calm his racing thoughts. This was the time he’d usually pull out a pencil and paper and write his next chapter in an exciting pirate adventure. Living as his main character, he’d cut the evil doers to shreds, rescue the fair maiden, and ride off into the sunset.
But he had no heart to write such lies tonight. His fair maiden had ripped his heart apart, and he was tired of feeling alone.
The irony was that he knew why she had done it. Shehadto refuse him. There’d been an apology in her eyes and misery in her body language even as she gave him the cut direct. So he knew she was lying but was forced to do so for his sake.
All so she could pretend to be interested in the baron tonight. So he could be the spy his country needed and put an end to the rifles going to Napoleon. So he had brought her, an innocent girl from the country, into his double life. And it was making her miserable. Which made him miserable.
“You’re not writing,” Lord Benedict said as he settled onto the bench across from him. The man looked completely different from the urbane gentleman he usually seemed. Rough clothing, unshaven face, and a slump to his shoulders made him look—to the casual observer—like nearly every man who frequented the docks.
But Nate could see the difference. It was subtle. Something about Benedict’s innate arrogance always showed through. Theman was an aristocrat and wickedly smart, so playing someone abused by the world was difficult for him. Not so much for Nate. He often felt knocked about by life.
Lord Benedict gestured for an ale as he leaned carefully on the filthy tavern table. “Why aren’t you writing?”
“Don’t have the words,” Nate answered.
“You always have words. I never worry when you have words. It’s when you’re stopped up like a buggered sheep that I rethink things.”
Nate winced at the crude words. It wasn’t like Benedict to be so graphic. And he certainly never betrayed anger in his tone. But it was there, vibrating underneath everything.
“What’s got into you?” Nate asked.
“English selling guns to the French, that’s what.” Benedict clenched his jaw shut as the barmaid brought his drink, but the moment the woman turned her back, he was speaking again. “How does a man betray his own people? Our boys are dying, and this arse is selling guns to the French.”
Nate nodded. He felt the same. Indeed, if he had his way, the perpetrator would be hung, drawn, and quartered for every single life his rifles had taken. Over and over until the debt was paid. If ever such a thing could be paid.
The two of them shared an angry glare meant not for each other but for whomever they were about to catch. Ultimately, it would be the baron, of course, but first, they had to get the underlings.
Benedict took another pull from his drink. He didn’t even grimace at the taste, which Nate thought was very well done of him. This swill was awful, and Benedict liked good wine.
“I see you’ve neatly extricated yourself from society,” Benedict said after he swallowed. “Nobody will think twice if you disappear for a time now.”
“I didn’t do it. She did.”
His superior’s brows rose. “Hates you that much, does she?”
“No. She did it for me.”
It didn’t take Benedict long to understand. “You’ve told her who you are.”
Nate nodded. This was a dicey thing, and something he should rightly have discussed with Benedict first. But he hadn’t, and now was the moment he would have to pay the piper.
“She’s clever, then,” Benedict said. “Able to do what’s necessary even when it hurts?”
Again, Nate nodded.
“Can we use her?”
“No!” Nate slammed his hand down for emphasis. His voice was hard, his volume unrestrained. Fortunately, it was part of his persona here. A cantankerous sailor perpetually on the outs with somebody, somewhere. The action fit. It was also something he’d never done around Benedict. Until today.
The man straightened, leveling him with a hard stare. “So it’s love then? Real, true love?”
Yes. Damn it, yes! Which made it horrendous.
“I’ll not pull Becca into this life,” Nate said. It was too dangerous, too painful. One could never really be honest with family or friends, and that was a damned sight harder than he’d ever expected.
