Page 38 of Collision of Winters
“Actually, I don’t have anything else to say, so please just keep your Doc mouth shut until I’m out,” he finished, ducking into the bedroom. Presumably to get dressed. “I’ll let the doggies out to play in the snow again. Don’t follow me!”
I faced forward again and scratched my forehead.
“I know what I want. I always knew.”
He’d spoken with such conviction that I was still processing. Had I even begun? It was a new side of Kayden. Or perhaps one I just hadn’t met often enough. And I could admit I’d needed the reminder, because everything he’d just said went against the image I had of him. He was right. I did view him as the Middle who couldn’t possibly know what he wanted in life.
I was an idiot, even though my intentions were good and my concerns came from a valid point of view.
“And that while one side of me needs a Daddy and an awesome pillowcase collection, the other wants a Sadist to chase him down and rapefuck him into oblivion? I’m still the guy who enlisted in the Army, the idiot who got arrested for assault because some asshole punched me first, and the genius who’s currently putting you in your place.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face as Kayden rummaged around in the bedroom, cursing to himself.
…the other wants a Sadist to chase him down and rapefuck him into oblivion…
I swallowed hard.
He wanted me to be that Sadist. That Dom and that Daddy.
Jesus fucking Christ.
He could actually become mine?
When he emerged from the room, I turned around and?—
“Don’t even think about it,” he said, marching over to the door. He stuck his feet into his boots. “Also, I stole your phone. I wanna talk to Dad.”
I answered on autopilot, having no intention of keeping him from calling Quin. “He’s number two in the contact list.”
He paused in zipping up his parka and glanced over at me. “Who’s number one?”
“The junior operator we have on Yaya’s security detail,” I replied.
He narrowed his eyes. “Number three?”
What was he getting at?
“Chris,” I said.
He huffed. “Figures. And I’m number four…”
Cute.
“You’re not in there.” I refrained from shaking my head at him. After everything we’d been through, did he need further confirmation that he was special to me? “Neither is Yaya.”
That seemed to confuse him.
“First of all, if that phone ends up in the wrong hands, we don’t want anyone tracking you down,” I told him. “Second of all, I know your number by heart.”
“Oh,” he mouthed. He raked his teeth across his bottom lip—that I’d recently kissed—and snatched his beanie and gloves. “I accept that,” he muttered and walked out.
It was too soon to smile and he was already gone, but I hoped we’d find something to smile about soon enough. I had to fix this. And yes, he probably did need confirmation of how special he was to me, because he’d seen my slowing things down as rejection.
I’d already acknowledged to myself that I was powerless to resist him. Needing to pump the brakes, however momentarily, didn’t change things for me. I simply needed to think things through.
It was the responsibility of a good Daddy Dom.
Not to say the notion of becoming his Daddy Dom didn’t fuck me up, because it did. So much more was at stake now. If things didn’t work out between us… Fucking hell, I couldn’t lose that boy. He meant the world to me.
