Page 39 of Collision of Winters
CHAPTER 7
Wade Winters
Ilost the next couple of hours going through every scenario I could think of, based on what I now knew. Our attraction to each other, if things went wrong, what Quinlan and Chris might say, how Yaya would react, the age difference, the gravity of Kayden’s crush… My own feelings.
If I wasn’t pacing or staring into the fire, I was digging out Kayden’s birthday presents and preparing them for tomorrow.
I came to a stop in the center of the floor and eyed two of the wrapped gifts in my hands, and I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of turning it into a game for him. I could give him clues about where to find the presents.
I could already sense his competitiveness. He loved to race and chase points. He had a special grin for the opportunity of defeating Chris in a game or impressing me in a challenge. All mischief and determination.
Goddammit.
I rubbed a hand over my jaw and sighed heavily.
Could I even go back to being just his overprotective brother figure at this point? I adored every moment he was in his Middle space around me. I wanted more of them.
And you want to be the Daddy he gives each smile to.
Think of the possibilities.
He already means more than anyone you’ve ever dated in the past.
More to love, more to lose?
My stomach was knotted up with stress and worries.
Kayden was an all-or-nothing kind of young man. If I wasn’t prepared to fight for a lifetime with him, I shouldn’t even open the door to the possibility. What was the alternative? Date casually? Share a kink-only dynamic? Fucking laughable. Even before I knew what it was he wanted with me, I had to be ready for anything and everything.
I hid all four birthday presents under a loose floorboard for now, and then I walked over to the window between the kitchen nook and front door. He was out there, rolling around in the snow with all four dogs.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
I bet it would be easy to fall for that boy. As effortless as falling. Into a fucking volcano.
I ran a hand through my hair.
At least I wasn’t worried about an outcome in which he got over me. I’d rather hurt for years to come and still be close to him than the other way around. If he’d liked me for so long already, maybe he already knew that kind of hurt.
That pained me.
“I do feel vulnerable, but the cat’s out of the bag and I’m not going to run away for once. I’ve had a crush on you on and off for years, and nobody likes unrequited feelings.”
They weren’t unrequited anymore.
He wasn’t going to run away, and fucking hell, neither was I.
We couldn’t go back. And why would we?
I wanted a second first kiss. One that I could remember and think back on. I’d been too shocked by my own behavior—and that it was happening at all—to enjoy what’d taken place on the couch earlier.
Okay, enough of this. It was time to figure out the rest together. Every guy wanted to be swept off his feet with patient conversation, negotiations, andlet’s take this slowly.
I could feel the sexual tension already…
I was doomed.
The irony wasn’t lost on me. I was shouldering this situation as if I knew what I was doing and he didn’t. In reality, he’d probably had greater successes with partners than I had. I could hem and haw till the cows came home, and I’d never felt this absurd urgency to commit or jump into things.
