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“And the mother?”I asked, finally looking up from my tea.
“We don’t know much about her.From what the caregiver said, the mother hasn’t been in the picture since Athena was born.She abandoned her right after giving birth.”
“And Kris never told us.Any of us.”The hurt was sharp, unexpected.How could my brother have kept something so enormous from me?We’d told each other everything.At least, I thought we had.
I looked at the photo again, even though it was slightly blurry, taken from a distance.A tiny girl with a riot of copper curls sat on the floor of what looked like an office, clutching a worn, stuffed animal to her chest.Her face was turned slightly away from the camera, but even in profile, I could see the resemblance -- to me, to Kris, to the Kringle DNA that had given us both our distinctive coloring.
“She looks scared,” I whispered.
“Sheisscared,” the woman said.“Her father’s gone, and she’s with strangers.The social worker said she’s barely spoken since they took her from Ms.Harper’s home.”
I stared at the photo, trying to process that this child -- this tiny, vulnerable person with my hair and eyes -- was my niece.My brother’s daughter.A piece of him that was still here, even though he was gone.
“Why would he choose me?”I asked.“I don’t know anything about being a parent.”
“I can’t say for certain,” the woman replied.“But if I had to guess, I’d say he trusted you the most.Not to mention, I’ve heard you’re a preschool teacher.To me, that makes you qualified to handle a three-year-old.When the social worker reaches out, there will be official documents for you to sign.”
“So what happens now?”I wrapped my hands around the cold mug, needing something to hold onto.“Do I just… go get her?Bring her here?I don’t even have a bedroom for her.I have plants that are probably poisonous.I work full-time.I don’t know the first thing about three-year-olds outside of a classroom setting.”
I ran a hand over my face.Sure, I’d wanted kids.Just not right this minute, and not because my brother had died and left his daughter in my care.All of this was completely insane.All of it -- Kris’s death, the existence of Athena, the sudden expectation that I would step into the role of parent to a traumatized three-year-old.
“I know it feels impossible right now but think about Athena.She’s lost everything familiar to her.According to the paperwork, Kris wanted you to be her guardian.Not foster care, not adoption by strangers.You.”
I sighed and nodded.My brother had his reasons, even if I wasn’t sure what they were just yet.I’d trusted him with my life, and now he’d trustedmewith the life of his daughter.
“The social worker said you can meet with her tomorrow at eleven.Just to get acquainted, see how she responds to you.They’re not expecting you to take her home immediately.Think of it as an adjustment period for the two of you.”
A small mercy, at least.But it only delayed the inevitable decision.
“And if I can’t do it?”I looked at her.“If I’m not… enough for her?”
“Your brother clearly thought you were more than enough.”
I swallowed hard.I still didn’t understand why this woman had shown up today, but she’d claimed to know Kris, had been deployed with him in the past.In all honesty, I was grateful to her.Maybe she could help me make sense of all this… or at least feel a little less like I’d been dropped into chaos.
“But he should be here,” I whispered, tears finally spilling down my cheeks.“He should be here to raise his own daughter.To tell me why he kept her a secret.To explain why he thought I could do this when I can barely keep my own life together.”
I looked at the photo again -- that small, frightened child clutching her stuffed animal.Whatever Kris’s reasons had been for keeping her a secret, she didn’t deserve to suffer for them.
“I should go,” the woman said, standing.“It’s getting late, and you need time to process all of this.If you’d like, I can pick you up tomorrow at ten to go meet Athena.Unless you’d prefer to go by yourself.”
“Okay,” I said automatically, still lost in my thoughts.“I’ll accept the ride.”
She hesitated.“You’ll get through this, Karoline.Kris knew you were the right person for the job.If there’s one thing I know about your brother, it’s that he always had a reason for everything, no matter how crazy it might sound.He didn’t do things without thinking them through and considering multiple angles.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said as I walked her to the door.“Drive safe.”
She nodded.“For what it’s worth, your brother was a great guy.A lot of us called him friend, and he’ll be missed.”
After she left, I stood in my empty house, the silence pressing in from all sides.It was a different silence than before -- heavier, more significant.The silence of my life before I knew about Athena, before I knew my brother was gone.
I moved through the rooms like a ghost, straightening a pillow here, picking up a stray sock there.Normal things.Things that people did when their worlds hadn’t been upended.But with each passing minute, the weight of reality settled more firmly onto my shoulders.
Kris was dead.I had a niece.Tomorrow, I would meet her.
And somehow, I would have to find a way to be what she needed, even when I had no idea what that might be.
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