Page 41 of A Twist in Fate
“Yes. I've been working towards this since forever. I just wish I could do it here or you guys live in London.”
“Me too,” she whispers, zoning out for a moment. I have never once seen her like this.
“Are you okay?” I ask, grabbing her arm lightly.
“Yes. I just need to go home, and you need to catch a flight." I pull her into another hug. I can't believe how quick this part of my life has been. It has been the quickest of nineteen years. I waited over a year for this. I took a gap year for this and it's already over. I thought I had never known pain like this, but I am naive to believe that thiswould be the hardest part of my day.
CHAPTER 25
Lucas
Song 25
I love you, I’m sorry (SNL version) – Gracie Abrams
08/19
“Hey, are you okay?” Bailey walks into my room slowly and sits next to me on my bed. I am not okay. Nothing about this is okay. I refused to say goodbye and now that she is gone, I hate the way I left it. Bailey's eyes are slightly red, like if she had been crying. I wonder if Ivy looks the same. Her face flashes into my mind and I feel actual pain when it does. She is so beautiful. She occupies my every thought. At this moment I am completely consumed by her. She was everything. Now she is gone. I came home at 9:45 because I knew she would have already left. Mom and Daisy have gone out to get groceries for the last few weeks of summer. I'm sitting right in the middle of my double bed that I've had since I was 8 and I begged for it. I have thebiggest room of us children, so it fits the room fine. Teddy is still here. Mom is definitely going to keep him. I think he's already stayed longer than they had originally planned. He had a bath before I got home, and his fur is soft as I run my hand over his head and ears. He is laying between my legs, and Bailey reaches out to stroke his head for a moment before turning her focus over to me.
“I'm fine,” I say, after a moment. She looks over at me with a worried look on her face and it makes me wonder if my voice came out harsher than I thought. I'll be fine. She has nothing to worry about. Ivy is going back home and that is fine. I turn back to Bailey and she is staring at me still, with the same expression. “What?” It definitely came out harsh that time. “Sorry,” I mumble and guilt washes over me.
“That's okay, but you're not the only one who's going to miss her,” Bailey says.
“I know. It must have been really difficult at the airport. Are you okay?” I ask.
“I think so but are you really going to let her leave like this? I don't understand.”
“What do you mean?” She moves closer toward me, looking me in the eyes, seriously.
“I have never once seen you with a girl like this. You never once have been so invested in a person. You told her about Dad. The only person who knows about Dad is James. You love her and she loves you.” My eyes shoot up at her words.She loves you.“That should be all that matters right now. I don't understand for a moment while you're giving up. She ignites something inside you that I have never seen, and I don’t think it's fair to anyone to let go of it." I go to interrupt her, but she lifts her palm, stopping me. “No. You have to listen to me.” I sigh, sitting back and listening to her, but still not making eye contact. “I understand that you agreed not to get attached and make this a long term thing but fuck that!” She's starting to yell. “Please just call her or go to see her and fix this. None of us want to be around you if you're moping the entire time.”
“I'm not moping,” I mumble again but I know what she means. No matter what I want, I can't leave her like this. I was rude and unfair to her, and I can’t hurt her like that.
Bailey gets up and pulls my arm until I'm up off the bed too. Teddy jumps up and hops off the bed surrounding us, his tail wagging quickly. “Her flight is not for a couple hours. She won't be at her gate yet so go. Please.” Shethen places her hand in mine until cold metal hits it. I stare at it for a moment. It's her necklace. She took it off. Why did she take it off? That gemstone is her grandmothers, and she has never treasured anything more. She told me a thousand times how much she loved the necklace when I had the stone reset.
I can't explain what I feel at that moment. I think it's hope. I hope that I get to her before it's too late. I hope I don't need anything else but my keys and the necklace I keep in my fist the entire drive. I hope something inside me knows what to say when I enter the airport. I hope I can find her as I rush inside. I hope she hears me out when I spot her walking towards security. I hope she can hear me when I yell after her. That hope only increases when she spins around to see my face. She looks beautiful. I always know that, and I always will but it still shocks me the moment I see her. I think it takes her a moment to register it for me as I walk closer. I am hyperventilating. I think I ran. I'm not sure. All I know is we are here standing in front of another, and this is the last chance I have.
One night we couldn't sleep so she asked me if we could watch Love Actually. It ended up being a Christmas film, but she said we should watch it anyway because she loves it. I had never seen it before, and she said one dayshe might visit the landmarks from the film and send me photos of her there. We got quiet because we knew that would never happen. I'm now reminded of it because of the beginning. Ivy was fast asleep ten minutes later and had stayed asleep for the next hour, but it was set in an airport. The prime minister had said love is all around, especially in airports. I think I get it now. If you look around, people are welcoming and saying goodbye to loved ones. It reminds me of the kind of love that surrounded us when we went to the lantern festival.
“Hi,” I breathe out. She really is stunning. I can't believe I denied my feelings for her for so long.
“Hi Lucas,” she says, a smile creeping onto her face as she looks up at me. She looks small, like the first time I saw her. The way she has changed this summer is completely gone. “Why are you here?” she asks.
I freeze up for a moment. I can feel my body warm up and my hands start to sweat. Why am I suddenly so nervous?
“Ivy,” I take a deep breath before continuing. “I just want to tell you something.”
“Okay.” She looks confused.
“Don't go. Wait never mind. Go and just be with me. We can make it work. I can't lose you.” My mind isscrambled, and words are just pouring out. I can't think straight, and my heart is beating rapidly. Ivy looks taken aback and I stop myself for a moment to compose myself.
“Lucas, I don't understand.” How can she not understand? I'm trying to give her my heart. Maybe I'm not being successful in my efforts but at least I am trying.
“I’m so in love with you.” I might be yelling.
“Your what?”
“I am in love with you, Ivy Banks,” I repeat. “And nothing in the world can change that. I will still be in love with you if you break my heart and leave. I will still be in love with you if you live halfway across the planet. All I am asking is that you will love me too. I don't care what we do or where we love one another. You're worth everything. You are everything.”
