Page 100 of The Grump I Loathe
I needed to get out of here, but my legs felt numb right down to my toes. In fact, everything inside me was numb, tingling with a fiery, pent-up rage. I supposed that was better than tears, though. I was sick of tears.
“Come on,” Noah said. “Let’s go grab a snack or something.”
“Eddie!” Connor called, shoving through the crowd.
Fuck. “Keep moving.”
The crowd converged, too many people surrounding us for me to be able to quickly duck away. Connor had the clout to get people to make way for him, but Noah and I did not. Connor caught us, his eyes widening slightly as he stopped less than a foot from me. It was as if we both realized all we had to do was reach out and?—
“Noah, can I have a moment with Eddie?” Connor requested.
Noah glanced at me. I shrugged. “He can stay. Why not? After all,aren’t you claiming to be all transparent and public-facing about things now?”
A muscle in Connor’s cheek twitched. “You’re not happy about the re-crediting?”
“I’m happy there are game designers out there who are going to get the recognition they deserve,” I said diplomatically.
“I…” Connor swallowed hard, looking confused. “I did this for you.”
“Are you looking for a thank you?” I asked. “Is that what you’re after? I never asked you to do this.”
“I know you didn’t,” he insisted. “I wanted to.” His hand moved in my direction. I jerked back. “I…I miss you, Eddie. Grace misses you. I’ve tried texting you?—”
“But I blocked you,” I finished for him.
“Yes.” He started to crack his knuckles and then stopped. “I’d like to have that talk now, if you’re willing to hear me out.”
My mind screamed no even as my heart screamed yes. My pulse thundered in my ears. This was everything I’d wanted for weeks. But it had taken him weeks to make this decision. Weeks to decide I was worth having this conversation with. Weeks to realize he missed me. And I deserved more than that. For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even react when Leigh had told him about my concussion.
“No,” I said.
His eyes widened. “Eddie…”
“No,” I said again, more firmly. “Because ifthisis what you think an apology is, then I don’t want to hear it. Nothing has changed. You’re here prioritizing some work initiative, and that’s amazing for the people whose careers you’re going to positively impact, but it doesn’t change our relationship. Before that can happen, you’ll have to takeresponsibility for what happened between us. This isn’t you telling the world you want me; this is you telling the world I was a good little employee. At this rate, you may as well have sent me a memo that said you wanted to start having sex again.”
Noah turned red, angling away slightly.
I plowed on. I didn’t care who was listening. “This was buttoned-up, CEO Lockhart still trying to keep things PR-perfect. And I’m done with it. You want me, but you’re not willing to acknowledge my feelings or fight for me? Thanks, but I’ve gotten enough of that from everyone else in my life. I don’t need you for that.”
“Eddie,” Connor started, sounding desperate, but I didn’t want to hear another word he had to say.
“You can give my number to Grace if she wants it, but I don’t want to hear from you again.”
I latched down on Noah’s arm and surged into the crowd, dragging him after me.
“You okay?” he asked, still flushed.
“I don’t know yet,” I said, buzzing with adrenaline. All I knew was that Connor had just proven he couldn’t change.
And walking away from him finally felt like closure. Except, if I didn’t get out of there, I was going to break down and start bawling, and I refused to embarrass myself further over Connor Fucking Lockhart.
31
CONNOR
“Dad, did you bring my sweater?” Grace called from across the house. “The one with the turkey on it? Oh, never mind, found it!”
Turkey sweater. Pumpkin pie. Laser gun. All the Thanksgiving essentials. I exhaled slowly, trying to regulate my racing heart as the nerves slowly ate away at me.
