Page 101 of The Grump I Loathe
Dammit!I just wanted to know if it had worked.
Hearing the wordnofrom the love of your life hurt more than any slap to the face or punch to the gut ever could. I knew that now. Watching Eddie walk away from me in the aftermath of the keynote speech had left me floundering in a way I never had before.
When Ali had served me with divorce papers, it had been a shock. Losing my partner of that many years had been complicated and messy, especially when it came to worrying about Grace’s feelings, but it was nothing compared to the way it felt to lose Eddie.
In the wake of her rejection, there was a stark emptiness in my life, a void where her bubbly laughter and optimism and joy used to reside.One I knew would never be filled no matter how much time passed. Eddie had yanked my heart from my chest in that convention center, and the hollow left behind did nothing but ache. Since that moment, the world had felt completely wrong.
It was no exaggeration that I’d been a shell of the man I was when she was in my life. My brothers had threatened to do something drastic to get her attention long enough to let me grovel in her presence. Max had offered to hack her Spotify account with a recording of my heartfelt apology I’d yet to give because Eddie wouldn’t stand still long enough to hear me out.
While I deserved her anger and her disappointment—I was disappointed in me too—I wasn’t sure my heart could take much more.
Even now, as I stood by the front door in Mom’s foyer, my pulse rushing in my ears, every nerve in my body felt tense.
“Dad!” Grace called again, her voice echoing. Closer now. “Is she here?”
“Not yet,” I tossed over my shoulder. And I didn’t know if shewouldcome. I’d rather face the stinging heat of a thousand bottles of Dragon’s Exhale Chili Hot Sauce than this waiting. This wondering!
I’d spent the last couple of weeks trying to show her I was listening. That I’d heard everything she’d said to me. More than the institutional changes at LockMill. More than my support of her career andAlterbot.
Her.
But I had no idea if it had been enough to win her back or if I was about to kiss everything I wanted for my future goodbye. Footsteps thundered down the hall.
“Look what Uncle Finn got me!” Grace exclaimed, appearing at my side.
I looked down at her. Blinked. And blinked again. A smile crept onto my face in spite of myself. “Why are you dressed like a turkey?”
“It’s so great, isn’t it?” She wiggled. “Look at the feathers on my butt!”
“And there’s a matching hat!” Liam said, walking down the hall toward us to plunk it on my head.
I gave him a flat look.
“Just making sure you look your festive, holiday best,” he said, clapping me on the chest as he sipped his drink.
“Grace, you forgot your turkey feet!” Finn called from the kitchen. “Look at these claws!”
“Oh yeah!” Grace squealed, racing back to get them.
“Feeling okay?” Liam asked when we were alone.
I blew out a harsh breath. “Not really,” I admitted. It felt like I was about two seconds from bleeding out.
Liam nodded, the corner of his mouth quirking. “Glad to hear it.” When I glared at him, he added, “That’s how you know it’s real,” he said. “That disgustingly awful tension coiling in your gut.”
I slumped against the door, my gaze focused out the window.
“You know,” Liam started, “a watched pot never boils, and a watched street never?—”
“What?” I snorted. “Has a visitor?”
“Eh, maybe.” My brother understood what I was going through. Hell, they both did. It didn’t make it any easier. Just because they got their happily ever afters didn’t mean I would.
I swallowed hard. “I just don’t think I can handle it if she doesn’t turn up.”
After Eddie tore me to shreds at the conference, I took her words to heart and went back to the drawing board. I repealed LockMill’s no-dating policy. I gave a press release stating that I’d broken it and had been wrong for instituting it in the first place. When I’d instituted the policy, I’d thought it would eliminate any conflicts of interest in the company, but all it had done was kill the potential for love.
Actually, it did more than that. It created a wedge. More like a giant chasm I needed to build a bridge over.
