Page 17 of Overtime Goal
Because I’m scared as hell. He can’t know for sure what it would do to him. And what about me? Would it seem like I was using him for sex when I could never feel the way he did?
Still, he’d been right that we weren’t fragile. If we had sex again, I wouldn’t be making a promise I couldn’t keep, and he wouldn’t misunderstand what it meant. We’d both know what it was: two people, no expectations, and no crash and burn.
I took a deep breath. Logan smiled, and we sat like that while the question bounced around inside me. Finally, I asked, “What do we do now?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Watch a stupid movie, talk about literallyanythingelse, and keep being us. We shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything, but we won’t feel weird if it happens.”
I took a moment to let that settle. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely.”
After blowing out a long breath, I said, “Okay. I’m in if you are.”
“A hundred percent.”
I was so relieved, I slumped back in the chair. It had been exhausting trying not to think about what we’d done. I was tired of pretending I wasn’t staring at his mouth every time he talked, remembering how his lips had felt on mine. He was my best friend, and I needed him. We’d just figured out how to live with what happened and not worry about the future.
He got up and stretched, then held out a hand. “Let’s get on the bed to watch.”
“You’re not thinking?—”
“We’re watching a movie, Riles. I promise I can resist your amazing body.”
I let him help me up. “Don’t make it soundthateasy.”
“Sorry, bud. The truth hurts.” He got on the bed, patted the space beside him, and picked up the remote. “What are you in the mood for?”
I settled on the pillow beside him, feeling better than I had in weeks. We’d found our footing again. I could stop feeling like a stranger in my own skin.
8/
logan
Riley hadhis hand on my side. It was big and a little rough, a hand that left no doubt it belonged to a man. I stayed still, afraid if I shifted even a little, he’d pull away. I wasn’t ready for that. Most of the men I’d dated had smaller hands with smooth palms and slender fingers softened by moisturizer and desk jobs. Riley’s were different. They showed the wear of constant training, hard work, and long days in the cold air of a practice rink.
I adjusted slightly, easing the pressure on my shoulder, and he didn’t move. Closing my eyes again, I let myself pretend we’d ended the night naked and tangled, satisfied from making each other come. I imagined my future would be Riley and me sharing a bed, with his hands on me all the time.
After we talked last night, the knot in my chest had loosened for the first time in weeks. Now, doubt was already creeping back in. The deal we’d made was simple. I’d agreed so we could salvage our friendship, hoping I might have him sometimes instead of not at all. The problem was that I wasn’t built for casual. For me, dates weren’t euphemisms for hookups. I wanted to know the men I slept with because sex was so much better thatway. But I didn’t need to date Riley to care about him, so maybe things would work out.
God help me. I’m already in love with him.
I didn’t want to think about what might happen to me when the novelty wore off for him. He’d wake beside me one morning and wonder why the hell he wasn’t in bed with a woman. His fever for them had never cooled for long. Another girl, another story.
Fuck me.
I’d never been anyone’s experiment because I’d never let it happen. So why was I lying there with Riles when I knew what to expect? I was in bed with a teammate, hoping he’d never let go, but sure he would.
Something banged out in the hall. Riley jerked and tightened his grip on my side, then drew his hand away.
“Hey.” His voice was thick and croaky. “Wake up, Logan.”
My fantasy was over, so I blew out a breath, groaned, and turned over to face him. “I guess we fell asleep.”
He pulled the comforter around him. “At least we took our shirts off, but now I’m cold.”
I glanced at the clock. “We should get moving. The bus leaves for the arena in an hour.”
“Shit.” He burrowed under the covers completely. “I don’t fucking feel like morning skate.”
